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I love this advice. And I'll tell you why. I think that there is every chance that the signs were there, and that possibly someone else might have seen them, but as LS said, that's just being human. Does it make you a bad human? I don't think so. As time goes on I believe that we don't necessarily ignore our mates, but we do begin to stop 'seeing' them. I've been with Babs a quarter of a century now. I've seen her laugh, walk, cry, sleep, watch TV, clean...everything for 25 years so I didn't necessarily 'see' them any more. I saw a study once that said that the reason people, 'specially men, are so bad at noticing that someone has changed their hair, or shaved their mustache, is that we don't look at them each time we meet. Our brain notices where we encountered them, how they walk, the sound of their voice (I'm just making shit up, but you see my point) and plugs in a picture of them that we're used to. I think we even do this with our mates, perhaps more so, on a regular basis. It's likely the signs were there, but you were unable to 'see' them. But I do believe that with some help you will be able to see them next time. I have a game I play in my head sometimes. I pretend that I've never seen Barbara before. I watch how she walks, how she moves, what she sounds like when she talks, the shape of her boobs and bottom, just like it's out first time meeting. I used to do it to see if I would still chase her as hard as I did in the beginning...(and I would) but I do it now because while I was doing that I discovered that she changes. The Babs of today will have many, many significant differences from the Babs of a year from now, and the one from a year ago. And it showed me that treating the Babs of 2010 the way the Babs of 2005 liked to be treated wasn't really working the way I thought it should... Anyway, I don't mean to preach. But I do believe in something I heard on a Dr. Phil commercial one time. "Today we do the best we know how. When we know better, we do better." Or something like that.. I know it hurts your heart to see that someone you love suffered and you didn't help. But you would have if you had known, right? So now is not the time to convince yourself that you're a cold hearted bitch. But it is the time to decide that tomorrow you will make sure that you know better, so that you can do better. See? And in a terribly long winded fashion, that takes back to the above advice Hugs to you girl. Give yourself a break. Being angry at yourself makes you unhealthy, and you can only really care for those that you love if you make sure that you're healthy first. (Wait..that sounds familiar for some reason....?) Dwayne

My son is 13 now and I was very fortunate that I was able to be a stay at home mom until he started kindergarten. I think I would have done anything possible to make that happen. This of course was my decision and thankfully, financially we were able to make it work. I understand that for some people, that is not an option because of money, etc. I started EMS when my son was 6ish. I was so greatful to be able to spend the first 5 years at home with him and see all his firsts. I feel though, over the past 7 years, I have missed out on so much. He is not near as exciting as he was when he was learning to walk, talk, get his first tooth, etc, etc, etc but now I am missing out on his hockey games, school dances, and helping him study for exams. My husband missed out on so much when our son was a baby because of work, and now I can understand how he felt. I hate missing anything in his life, but thankfully he is a very understanding and forgiving kid. He is proud of me and what I do, but if he felt I wasn't around enough or if he was suffering because of the hours I work, I would quit my job today if it meant it would make a difference in the outcome of his life. Being a mother (or father) is the MOST IMPORTANT job you will ever have. Take the time to enjoy your kids while they are young. This is the time that matters most. Work will always be there....your babies wont be! Neesie

Until EMS decides to actually educate providers, we have no business diagnosing in the field and telling people they don't need to be going to the hospital by ambulance. Simply put, US EMS standards are that backwards.