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Greetings, Comrades. Rumours of my demise have been greatly exaggerated. I can't believe some of you actually bet money I was dead. If you did, may all your children be born naked! Anyhow, I'm down, but not completely out yet. Don't pull your bets yet, because they will most likely pay off this year. I took a long hiatus to avoid creating [more] drama here and distracting from the forum. I didn't want to start a pity party, but as some of you know, I've had serious health issues since my injuries in Iraq. I certainly won't be returning to practice. Or walking. Or even wiping my own arse. My piss glows in the dark. And it takes all the strength, energy, and coordination I have just to type this. But shyte happens, so I'm cool. Nuff said. No worries. I've been devoting my attention to spending my time with family and friends, who keep my spirits up. I'm not a real fan of Walt Whitman (after all, he's from NY), but I often echo his thought that, "I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don' t believe I deserved my friends." My thoughts exactly, Walt. And many, many of you here are my friends, so I owe it to you to keep in touch. If I have ever pissed you off or offended you, either intentionally or unintentionally, I apologise. I only hope that you recognise that it was most likely my passion for the future of this profession that drove my tendency to get carried away at times. Of course, sometimes I'm just an arsehole, but I apologise for that too. No excuses. There's not one of you here (over the age of 21) that I wouldn't happily buy a beer and get small with. Especially if you're hott. Anyhow, other than the occasional trip to the doctors at the VA, my life is pretty much spent in this bed, in front of this piece of shyte Macbook, so I hope to start spending more time here. I dropped in yesterday and read through some hot threads, and it got my juices flowing like the old days. I do miss you guys! Life is not total boredom here. Family from Japan came to visit me two days before the earthquake and stayed for a week. It was great to see them, but I sure hated to see them return home. The next week, half a dozen colleagues I served with in Iraq came to visit me. These weren't just guys I was stationed with; these are all guys who were actually patients of mine at one time or another. One had been so seriously blown up that I was certain that he died after I put him on the helicopter. Today, he's alive and well and looking great. The scar from my trach is more obvious than the rest of his many scars, lol. He's not complaining though. And getting to see him again was the greatest thing I've experienced in the last three years. I truly hope that all of you have the opportunity to experience that kind of satisfaction once in your career. Okay, getting really tired now, so I'll catch up with you soon. Kisses (no homo, not that there's anything wrong with that). And don't drink any water in Iraq, Rob

Hi all, sorry this has taken me so long! Nursing school be crazy, yo! This may take several posts in the thread, so bear with me. I'm still waiting on more info from Mobey (other than his purty pic), and I'm waiting on pics from Ugly and Fiz. As soon as I get those, I'll get their bios up. For now, here's the first three! First off, we have Lone Star. His real name is Brett Lang. He's 46 years old. He's also FUGLY. (Just kidding.) Brett is currently an NREMT-I pursuing his paramedic degree. Since he worded things so nicely, I'm going to insert his exact biography to me in quotes. "I got into EMS initially by applying to a full time fire department in the Detroit area. After passing the Civil Service test, I met the Review Board and found out that I was going to be passed over because I didn't have at least an EMT-B license. One of the biggest challenges I've faced was recovering from a giant cerebral aneurysm. In EMS, I feel that we need to increase the educational requirements for entry level positions to help weed out the 'lowest common denominator' and advance EMS to a recognized profession. When I started my EMS education journey, I was introduced to Michael Everett, who was by far the best EMS Instructor/Coordinator I've ever had. He actually cared more about the student than he did about his pass rate. Because of this approach, he had one of the highest pass rates in the state of Michigan. After joining EMT City, I've met a great number of fantastic people and outstanding providers who have continually pushed me to not only increase my educational levels, but have pushed me to be able to defend my positions with more logic and less emotion. I'd like to thank each and every one of the EMTs, Medics and Doctors who have taken the time to answer all of my inane, goofy and otherwise aggrivating endless barrage of questions, technical advice and for sharing their wealth of medical knowledge." It will probably take me a couple days to get all the posts up... so folks, please refrain from replying to this thread until I get em' all up, k? Next, we have Bieber! Oh lord, folks, he wasn't kidding when he told us how he got the nickname. His real name is Justin Sleffel. He didn't tell me how old he is, but as I recall he's somewhere in the 24ish range (right in with me!) Justin, feel free to put your correct age in here later. He also sent me his bio already very nicely written, so I'm going to quote it below: "I'm a nationally registered Emergency Medical Technician-Paramedic and a Mobile Intensive Care Technician in the state of Kansas since January 2011. I should be getting my Associate's in Applied Science this spring as part of my paramedic program (currently degree eligible, just waiting for graduation) and I'm also a student at the local university studying Biology and I'm planning on bridging to get my RN at the start of next year. Before EMS I studied Spanish language (which I'm fluent in), and I got into EMS because about halfway through my Spanish degree I somehow got it into my head that I wanted to go to medical school. A classmate of mine in one of my Spanish classes was an EMT and suggested I become one to get a "taste" of medicine before I made the big commitment of trying to get into medical school, which I did in the fall of 2007. In 2008 I got my EMT-Intermediate and spent the rest of the year preparing to enter the paramedic program, which I did in the fall of 2009. I completed schooling at the end of 2010 and, like I said, got certified at the beginning of this year. I'm currently working part time for a busy urban EMS service and seeking part time employment as a lab assistant for my former EMS program. Probably my biggest challenge in EMS has been just trusting my own knowledge and instincts and to really "own" my calls. I'd like to give a shout out to Dwayne and everyone else on these forums for their continual support, guidance, and even criticism. You guys help me grow more each day as a paramedic and your feedback and advice is invaluable." Moving on to Chbare; His real name is Chris Bare. He neglected to tell me his age. We'll go with "seasoned" Chris was also kind enough to send me a complete, well written bio! Thanks, Chris! Quoted below: "I became involved in EMS back in 1995 when I took a first responder class. In 1996, I joined the Army National Guard as a medical specialist. In 1997, I received national and state credentials as an EMT-Basic. From 1996-1999 I worked as a CNA at a long term care facility and also worked as a basic EMT for a private EMS service. In 1999, I started college and eventually graduated with a certificate of completion in practical nursing and sat for the NCLEX-PN in 2001. I worked as a LPN in a long term facility while continuing to work as a basic EMT from 2001-2002 while completing a degree in nursing. I graduated nursing school in 2002 and sat for the NCLEX-RN. Shortly after graduation I started working in an emergency room in New Mexico. I worked as an ER nurse and a part time transport nurse for a private EMS service from 2002 to 2006. In 2006, I began working as a flight nurse and also obtained national credentials as an EMT-I. From 2006-2008 I worked as a flight nurse and did some ER travel nursing on the side. I also obtained CCEMTP, CEN and CFRN credentials during that time. From 2008-2009 I worked as a private contractor in Afghanistan performing medical evacuations and providing austere medicine and first aid training. I also ran a few special projects such as immunization clinics. After coming back to the United States in 2009, I returned to part time flight nursing and also began teaching for a community college based paramedic program. I was also accepted into a respiratory therapy program at that time. My personality is one that tends to focus on details and this includes the technical and scientific aspect of health care. I am a big advocate of using the study of physical science to better understand our role as providers. To this end, I am very pro-active about integrating principles of chemistry and physics into my lectures. One of my biggest goals is to push for formal integration of science based course work into the paramedic curriculum. The biggest challenge that I have faced and continue to face is a tendency for people to stagnate and hold onto old thoughts, ideas and concepts, treating them like axioms. The pursuit of teaching correct ideas that are based on best available evidence along with instilling a sense of skepticism in providers so that they will always challenge the current conventions with the newest and best evidence has been great challenge that I have always faced. Some of my biggest role models include my wife and mother, two people who have succeeded in spite of facing overwhelming odds. My wife has also been instrumental in instilling humility into my personality that is sometimes less than humble. I would also say that my military experience was pivotal in instilling a sense of discipline, maturity and motivation in me that was lacking before I joined. There are too many mentors and people who inspired me to name from the military."

> The first blonde guy joke? > > The very first ever Blonde GUY > joke..... And well worth the wait! > > An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde > Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a > building. > > They were eating lunch and the > Irishman said, 'Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and > cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building.' > > The Mexican opened his lunch box and > exclaimed, 'Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going > to jump off, too.' > > The blonde opened his lunch and said, > ' Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm > jumping too..' > > The next day, the Irishman opened his > lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death. > > The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a > burrito, and jumped, too. > > > The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw > the bologna and jumped to his death as well. > > At the funeral, the Irishman's wife > was weeping. She said, 'If I'd known how really tired he was of corned > beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!' > > The Mexican's wife also wept and said, > 'I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated > burritos so much.' > > > (Oh this is GOOD!!) > > Everyone turned and stared at the > blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said, 'Don't look at me. The idiot > makes his own lunch.' >