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1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your browser history if you die. 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong. 3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger. 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. 5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? 6. Was learning cursive really necessary? 7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. 9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired. 10. Bad decisions make good stories. 11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. 12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again. 13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to. 14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this – ever. 15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? **** it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away? 16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste. 17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. 19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay. 20. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option. 21. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it. 22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. 23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text. 24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. 25. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said? 26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! 27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. 28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year? 29. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far. 30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists. 31. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

No not really. Wackers tend to get in the way on scene.

I can't stress how important remaining calm is. The paramedic you were riding with had no business becoming "flustered". She can make suggestions and give criticism in a calm and constructive manner, but if you can tell that she's "flustered", she's not doing her job right. Dwayne gave you some excellent advice: don't rush. Whenever I'm riding with a tag-along, or new EMT, whenever I ask for something they'll usually fumble around, yank it out, then shove it right in front of my eyes while their hand shakes uncontrollably. Have a sense of urgency, but don't let it mess you up. If you find yourself loosing it, try to slow it down. You'll ride with many different types of people in your career. Some people have short tempers and are very emotional under stress. These people have no business riding with students or rookies. When you're new, your emotional state is highly dependent upon those around you. When your superiors are freaking out, you'll freak out too. It's their responsibility to stay in control. As for everything else: don't worry. It just takes a few days to master your ambulance. You'll soon know where everything is, how to get to it quickly and safely, and local tastes and procedures. Welcome to EMS.

Gotta say I pretty much agree with everything Dwayne said. When you're new somewhere, spend your free time ensuring you know where shit is in the truck. Study. Explore the truck some more. Ask questions. Repeat. And yes, slow down. If you get flustered and your heart rate gets up there too much, you'll end up with tunnel vision and can't focus on the entire picture. You'll learn that well as you go along. The only stupid questions are the ones you DON'T ask. Very few things are unacceptable in this industry. You'll need to quickly develop a very thick skin to deal with the BS from patients, co-workers, shift work etc. Pick your battles very carefully (especially when brand new), and always think things over thoroughly before to take them to a higher authority.

You do realize most divorces are caused by folks being married?

First off, your paramedic was a bitch. This is your second day..how many calls did you run? How much down time did you spend actually checking the truck and learning where things are? Even if you spent a bunch I'll bet it didn't help much as it's hard, at least for me, to keep track of things until I've used them, or things like them. This is the deal Brother. You need a little bit of time to get used to things, but you are on an ambulance now. You no longer have the right to become flustered and ineffective regardless of the situation. No...Matter.....what. You no longer have that right? Ok? If you can accept that, and believe it, then you will be a long way towards becoming calmer. Second, if you feel nervous, slow down. If/when you get behind, slow down. You can not think well, move well, perform well when you are wound up. You will make additional mistakes and simply get in your own way. When you do get to that place, badgering you and treating you poorly, hurting your spirit, does nothing but fuck up the whole system. That medic should be moved immediately from a preceptor spot. I don't know you of course. Maybe you're an asshole. Maybe you think you know everything. Maybe you just didn't pay attention and that got everything screwed up. I don't care really...treating people poorly simply runs the whole system down and makes it weaker. Next time out...slow everything down. If she calls for a BVM, I know you want to make it magically appear, but that's rookie bullshit. Find the bag or cabinet that it is in. Open the door carefully so you don't have to grab at it and jerk it several times, take out the BVM without dragging everything else in the cabinet out with it..as you might need that next. Assemble it and hand it to her. Slowly! If she gives you deep sighs or talks under her breath, ignore it. Because you don't want feedback? No, because there is no useful information in posturing and being dramatic. If you focus on it it will make you less secure, you will begin to hurry, and you will make stupid mistakes. You are going to make a million mistakes, that's just the nature of the beast. Slow down though, and you will stop making the stupid, easily avoidable ones. I, as well as most medics I know, want to see that you are 'aware.' That you know where your body is in regards to the pt and crew. Where your feet and hands are. If I ask you for a chest seal, I don't need it that very instant, but I'm going to need it soon, so I want to be confident that when I'm not looking at you that you will be calmly trying to solve my problem instead of floundering around like a fish out of water. See? If I have to help you? No problem, but you are wasting my time if I have to try and calm you down so that you can follow instructions. I can't tell you whether to call corporate or not, as I have no idea of the political climate where you work or the processes that may be in place. But my knee jerk reaction is that if you're not sure whether or not you should call, then don't call until you are. Being new sucks. We all have lived through it many times, but for your medic to purposely make it suck more should be considered unacceptable by the company you work for. You should know the ALS bag well. Break it down generally in your head. Airway, breathing, circulation, meds, fluids, bandages, and always, always, always carry tape. Then at least you will gave a general zone to begin searching in when you need something. Keep your chin up. Get busy on the City and start posting. You'll be amazed at the confidence that you can gain when you're thoughts and ideas are critiqued by your peers. It truly does translate to the real world. Dwayne

Sounds more like a tragic accident.