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Ditch Doctor. University of Cowflop Corners.

Chuck always had bad luck. One day, he decided to try skydiving. In the class before the jump, he was told, Chuck got in the plane, and when the jumpmaster told him to jump, he did. The chute didn't open. Chuck counted, quickly, to 5, and pulled the "D-Ring on his left. but nothing happened. Even more quickly, he, again, counted to 5, and pullde the "D-Ring" on his right. Again, nothing happened. Chuck thought to himself,

Jokes I was told by a friend who has been married for 40 years! First joke There are three rings in marriage and they are: 1# Engagemant Ring 2 # Wdding Ring and 3# Suffering Second Joke my wife said she would divorce me but didn't want to see me happy

Even with my previous statement I do use it quite a bit in the ER. It's helpful is someone comes in with vague complaints and your not quite sure what is going on. Orthostatics can be positive for more reasons than just dehydration. If I get someone who is orthostatic and I can't explain it due to hypovolemia from vomiting/diarrhea, they are getting a rectal exam to see if there is a GI bleed. I don't think you'll find this being done in the ICU but possibly in admitted pts. It's a quick and simple test even if there is no consensus on what it means. Edit: I've also used it to determine if therapy has been successful. If I'm treating someone for dehydration and they are orthostatic but after X ccs for fluid they are no longer orthostatic, then I know their tank is being refilled.

Does anyone find this ironic that in a day and age where EVERYTHING we say and do revolves around evidence based medicine, and it seems ERDoc has found one last Anecdote to debate.....I was slightly astounded, but not surprised that I could not find two pieces of evidence that confirmed each other. Not that I searched very hard mind you. But something that is used often by many fields, I would think would be easier to find. Cheers.

I was thinking about the thread where we were discussing a disection and people were talking about different BPs in the arms. Orthostasis is something that is thrown around quite a bit but as we can see there is no agreed upon definition. The AAN has come up with a definition of 20/10 that is starting to be universally accepted but there is a lack of evidence. We all get a little orthostatic when we stand. I have seen a huge variation in the way VS are done between provider in the same ER. I wouldn't call it a myth or say anyone is nuts, but it is something that is almost taken as gospel but has little evidence to back it up. I'm not saying it doesn't exist (obviously it does) since lack of evidence does not me an lack of disease. I like the idea of someone being symptomatic as making them positive.

For a dislocated shoulder? With proper pain control and sedation, I've had a zero failure rate. Next time it happens to you, give me a call and I'll make sure it goes back in. It should be a piece of cake so don't worry.

Q: Why are divorces so expensive? A: Because they're WORTH it!

All divorces are caused by being married. Was told this by a doctor friend of mine "Michael, Marriage is a fine, fine institution, it just depends on what kind of an institution you want to live in" You have to say his quote in your finest Andy Griffith voice.

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your browser history if you die. 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong. 3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger. 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. 5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? 6. Was learning cursive really necessary? 7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. 9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired. 10. Bad decisions make good stories. 11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. 12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again. 13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to. 14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this – ever. 15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? **** it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away? 16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste. 17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. 19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay. 20. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option. 21. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it. 22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. 23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text. 24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. 25. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said? 26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! 27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. 28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year? 29. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far. 30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists. 31. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

There so IS a way to fold a fitted sheet! it would be almost impossible to tell you though. I would have to show you. Now nobody come knocking down my door asking for sheet folding lessons. And Annie, it has to be folded right or it wont fit in the closet! lol

Dwayne.... please please PLEASE delete my browser history if I die... Why fold a fittes sheet anyways? No one will see it. #10: Bad decisions make good stories.. AND KEEP ME EMPLOYED... I think another one to add to your list is: does anyone know what that blue screen of death on the computer really is? We all know it is bad, but then what?

As long as a pair of shears will cut a penny in half, they will go on my belt