Leaderboard

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE NICKNAMES • o If Laura, Kate and Connie go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Connie. o If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Nohair. EATING OUT • o When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. o When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. MONEY • o A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. o A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale. BATHROOMS • o A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel . o The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items. ARGUMENTS • o A woman has the last word in any argument. o Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. FUTURE • o A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. o A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. SUCCESS • o A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. o A successful woman is one who can find such a man. MARRIAGE • o A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. o A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does. DRESSING UP • o A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. o A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. NATURAL • o Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. o Women somehow deteriorate during the night. OFFSPRING • o Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances,best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. o A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.