I must admit, I have been having second thoughts regarding Mikeymedic's apparent indifference to the suicide rate in EMS. Back when I was on the cusp, I had much the same attitude. It wasn't until recently that I realised that my indifference to the suffering of those on the job around me was not only causing them harm, but more importantly, myself. The attitude that if you can't hand;e the heat, stay out of the kitchen is rampant amongst those in our line of work, and truth be told, those words came from my mouth as well. Until I realised that it was just my cover, my denial and bravado was my coping mechanism and it was a hair's breadth from failing me and those I love.
Since then the world has been a much better place for me, my family, and my friends. Kelly Grayson's words of wisdom regarding depression quite likely helped to save my life.The gist of what he said...or how I chose to interpret it...was that once you recognise and acknowledge the cause of your drepression, it no longer has a hold over you. You can see it for what it truly is and deal with it in a healthy manner.
Shea Emry is a professional Canadian football player, and he started a foundation called www.wellmen.org to teach men that they don't have to be tough guys and fight through their depression...that there are better ways. I recently discovered his foundation and I plan to work with him to develop something for first responders of both genders.
Mikey, please, you need to deal with your issues in a healthy manner. Acknowledge them and accept them, only then can you begin to deal with them.