I'm a medical provider, not a god. I can't make decisions whether a person lives or dies, I can only do what I can to a point, then nature is going to decide the outcome. If all the medicine in the world isn't going to save my patient, well, people die. It's their grief, it shouldn't be yours. Does it suck? hell yeah, you want to be empathetic, but when you have a run of bad calls like that you need to go back and think about the good ones where you were actually able to make a difference, because sometimes regardless how hard you try, you can't save everyone.