Chief1C

OSHA Courses are easier if you do not take them online. Thirty hours in front of a computer? Ugh..

Boo

http://distractify.com/fun/bizarre/the-most-epic-text-pranks-of-all-time/ I laughed so hard at the first few, I was seeing floaters for two hours. Took me two days to finish the short page, b/c I would be laughing so hysterically, I'd actually hyperventilate. At one point, someone turned the monitor off, so I'd stop laughing, which took about five minutes.

Hi.

I looked at it, as if it were a list of medications that patients take

iPuke There's a name... So, tonight before I began drinking, I thought, yanno what, I'm gonna take me some Emergen-C, some vitamins and some Dramamine... to counteract the effects of alcohol. What I didn't know, was that the Dramamine was going to make the effects of the alcohol ten times worse. So, I feel drunk, but not even close.. which sucks. So, the name iPuke came to mind

Maybe it's Echoburger's girl friend. Wait, no, he HAS to be 18 by now. I find the host of that show to be creepy.

I continuously see meds that I have never heard of, and that aren't in our booklet of "what's that for". However, the list provided by our ePCR Software, EMStat, is totally useless. I just type them into the end of my chart.

Prolly nawt. Put it in terms of people who normally get shot at while treating the ill and injured. War. People, bad people, don't play by the rules. If they're killing people, they're not going to care if they kill you. They probably don't have a soft spot for an EMT or Medic. Like say, a combat medic. You go running in, looking like someone there to help, you can save a half dozen or more lives... And this asshole with a gun is thinking, dude.. I just shot them... now you're gonna undo my doings? Fuck that shit. He'll pop your ass.. and then you die.. and the half dozen people die, anyway. Or... you could just wait for someone to pop his ass... then go in a salvage what you can.

I had a patient named Jesus once... Hey-zoo-sss Funny story.. Didn't speak a word of English. Couldn't read English. Didn't know what a "lock out" was. That's what his translator said. Jesus wasn't talking. Jesus died, again.... This time he wasn't nailed to a cross. He was sucked into a piece of chipping equipment at a pallet mill. Poor Jesus.... Looked like ground pork, smelled like pine sol. Gallows humor. It's necessary, I had to put Jesus in a body bag. Jesus, Jesus was a mess.

Pulse Oximeters and AED's have become so inexpensive (for EMS terms) that it's strange not to have one. In fact, Penna. requires them. We have three different pulse oximeters, on just one ambulance. A tiny one, finger size, because. Just because. A Masimo Rad 57 and a monitor mounted in the mod, that has a pulse ox. And a baggy of assorted devices to attach to various sized patients. Mostly because I wanted the new EMS for Children Certification. Good PR, but already had all the required stuff. I was shocked it wasn't required, it just made sense to have on hand. Used the national EMSC standards list. Now if I could just have my MAST, back....

........ ECNALUBMA

Fahrenheit, Celsius, what's the difference? The taste. Oh wait, that's oral or rectal. Or as I call the separate thermometers in the ambulance, grape or cherry, ha ha... yanno.. one is deep blue, one is red. If you're smart, you'll choose grape.

A boat, eh time

You can always fall back on fear of sick kids. Some providers are simply terrified for sick and injured pediatric patients. It just shuts them down, or makes their mind all quirky. It's possible that the provider had a mental "how can I get them out of my hands, and into someone elses" moment. It happens, doesn't make one a bad provider; yanno, unless you can't treat them at all. It sounds like there is more to the story, but then again, with all the country wisdom, who the hell knows. Besides... for those of us who have to use aircraft, we have all had people be released the same day. Usually b/c a medic couldn't read the EKG.

Hi

I tried to remove a spiral of steel from my leg. I was drilling rods, and it produced a massive amount of razor sharp spirals. I was putting the shavings in burlap bags for the salvage guy. Bag hits my leg, sharp pain, nothing, figured it was a poke. Gets red, puffy, hot a huge over the next week. I'm a prepper. I have stuff. Stuff I shouldn't have. I injected Marcaine, which I procured from a dental supply company, into the area, cut it, removed the spiral, and everything else... cleaned it.. packed it.. covered it.. and began having chest pain, an irregular heart rate, SOB.. Moral of the story.. If you don't know the side effects of what you're injecting, how you should inject it, how deeply to inject it, etc. Don't. I was aiming for just sub-q, but I guess I got some in a vein. Instead of the usual nurse to check the BP, get a history, etc; I got a fairly large crowd of ppl in the ER. But I'm alive and my leg feels fine. When I see "non-aspirin", I think store brand Acetaminophen, like Walgreens, CVS, etc; shit that comes in cheap-o first aid kits. Acetaminophen "Non-Aspirin"; Ibuprofen "I-Prin", Diphenhydramine "Diphen", et al. That grape stuff that Glutose 15 has, tastes pretty good. I had a bad summer, quite a few close calls during the heat waves. And there's new stuff, tastes like Mandarin Orange, comes in a little foil squeezy pack. Don't remember the name of it. They have like vanilla, caramel, strawberry/banana, etc. Has a catchy name, but the orange is really good, esp. when older brands of glucose would make you sick from the thickness and your altered perception. Worst diabetic call I was ever on, family had this 3gal water jug, attached to the cooler, it was filled with a mixture of OJ, pineapple juice and a 5lb bag of sugar...and it just sat there, for months. When the patient got low, they'd give him a sip, and he'd get better... He went a long time w/o issue, I guess. B/c this shit was brownish yellow. He vomited on me.. and the smell was so horrible, that I stripped to my birthday suit in the ambulance, and had to change into scrubs, before they'd let me in the ER to give my report.

Turn on the AC, cover them with a blanket, maybe a little O2, nasal cannula.. They'll be fine, it's probably motion sickness. Rode in the ambo for years before I was on the cot as the patient. BP was low. Blood loss...caused by #@%#@^#%^#ing EMS. They had me flat with my legs raised. Said to the person that was normally my driver, dude, you gotta raise my head, or drop my legs, I'm gonna ralph. He laughed. Like, no srsly, grab my arm and gimme a bag or you're getting a lap-full of hamburger. I hate when I have to explain how to provide simple care, but what pissed me off even more, was explaining it - as the patient. Yes, I see, well, it looks like a paper cut to me sir. But we'll incise it to have a better look, throw a few sutures in it; start you on IV antibiotics, maybe x-ray the finger, and check for a brain tumor. Just in case.

That's the gist of two phone calls per week, every spring and every fall. Everyone wants a summer home, and everyone wants a hunting cabin. Someplaces have no neighbors, no phone and no power; usually replaced with cell boosters, propane heating and lamps, etc. The downside is, if you need help, nobody will know without a means of outside communication. Nobody considers what happens in an emergency. It is literally the last thing on the list. I've had insurance companies call for fire reports on total destruction fires, and we don't have one. Nobody knew it was on fire, and it completely burned out. That has happened in occupied places, too. Someone reports smoke, and it ends up being a fatal fire. Even in the more populated areas, but with no neighbors and on uncommonly traveled roads. Its only a serious problem if its a wildland fire, which will just keep going; or a wreck. Just because a vehicle can get there, doesn't mean an ambulance can..or a rescue truck for that matter. Which is why the industry of making ATV's, RTV's, etc. that are outfitted for Rescue, Fire and EMS has exploded. Which makes you look at modern apparatus. Bigger and better, no no no, not in rural America. This is a shoe box, make it do everything on this list, make the pump more powerful, but lighter; make it hold more hose, more water and more foam, but you can't go outside the confines of the box, and can't be heavier than X. You depended on certain comforts and equipment all your career, till you get out in the middle of god's country, and you can only bring what will fit in a Polaris 6x6, and you only have three people to do it. Makes you realize that you depend on things you'll never need, and how little you actually do need to handle damn near any task.

We have a heavy population of "seasonal residents". Many of which hail from urban areas of NJ, MD, DE, VA, etc. They expect a lot more than they get. 1st. They assume it's tax funded, they get really fricken pissed when a bill turns up in the mail. "But we paid the EMS tax?" Nope, you didn't... Only permanent residents who work in the municiplaity paid that, and it stands for Emergency Management Services Tax, not..EMS as in an ambulance. We don't see a dime. We get what you pay for the bill, and two grants per year. Then they wonder why it takes so long. Well, when researching a property in Podunk, one should always find out how long it will take the fire department to get there, if the shack decides to burn down. I know their homeowners insurance people care. How quick can you get to this address? Depends. On what? Depends what the emergency is. We'll come as quick as safely possible, but we can only cover so much ground. I would advise against going into cardiac arrest. You should go to Walmart and buy an AED, if you're gonna do that. What do you mean? Well, it's 17 miles away. If the place is on fire, it's probably going to burn down if its snowing. That road doesn't get plowed. What if it's a NC fire? (natural cover) Well, that's an emergency, but there are fire breaks. Well what if they need an ambulance and the road isn't plowed? How did they get in there if the road isn't plowed? .......silence... We have a snow mobile. Can it fight fires? Small ones. How small? How much fire can a 2lb dry chemical extinguisher put out? Not much. Well, that's your answer. Where the nearest hydrant? Oh, about 28 miles away. WHAT?!?!? How do you get water? We bring it with us. What if you run out? We have other people bring it with them too. And if they run out? We go get more. Where? Do they have a pool? No. They should get a pool. They ususally hang up by this point.

Ah ha! Scooby! That's what I was looking for... I knew they came in a package with IV tubing. But I couldn't find any, other than the ones that clip over the head-end of a tubular framed cot, and hold two bags. Tried those, they snap off when sliding them onto the hand rails. I figured I'd just buy a few packs on eBay, and they'd be satisfied. As far as ALS supplies... Don't need those anymore. %$#!in Medicare. $$$? No $$$ for you. Like the soup nazi. Medicare is the EMS Nazi.

Never rescued a swan. I've transported a dog on a wheel/post cot to a vet...where he poorly cared for it, and it subsequently died. My guess would be from sepsis. I'm like, don't you wanna irrigate that shit before you sew it up? Looked at me, like, how dare a fireman question a vet of 60+ years. Should have done it myself.

Plastic IV bag hanger. Cannot find them anywhere. They work better than the similar, but square hangers, and they're good for off road use. Links to places that sell them would be appreciated. THX

It's almost September. This is depressing.