countrygirl24to

All around me by Flyleaf Or Johnny and June by Hedi Newfield

CONGRATULATIONS JESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Green grass snakes can be dangerous, Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. A couple had a lot of potted plants, and during a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze. It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants and when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream. The husband who was taking a shower ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on his bare backside. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he fainted. His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she called an ambulance. The attendants rushed in and loaded him on the stretcher and started carrying him out. About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he wound up in the hospital. The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor. He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief. But in relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa, and the neighbor, seeing her laying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive her. The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping, sees her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches. An ambulance was again called and it was determined that the injury required hospitalization. The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed he had been bitten by the snake. She went to the kitchen, brought back a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat. By now the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the two women tried to explain how it all happened over little green snake. They called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife. Just then the little snake crawled out from under the couch. One of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table that was on one side of the sofa. The table fell over and the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes. The other policeman tried to beat out the flames and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog, who startled, jumped up and raced out into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car and set it on fire. Meanwhile the burning drapes had spread to the walls and the entire house was blazing. Neighbors had called the fire department and the arriving fire-truck had started raising his ladder as they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and put out the electricity and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area. Time passed. Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was rebuilt, the police acquired a new car, and all was right with their world. About a year later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The husband asked his wife if she thought they should bring in their plants. She shot him !!!!!!!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NORTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :occasion1: :occasion4: :occasion7: :occasion6: :occasion5: I hope you have a wonderful birthday.

Thank You. Well a relationship has enough problems without adding to. So why should I contribute to the problems if I can prevent them. Like the saying says PICK YOUR BATTLES. Another is MAKE LOVE NOT WAR.

I'm not getting defensive. If I was I wouldn't have laughed at what Lone had posted. I honestly think it was funny. I know some of my friends who done that to their man and the fight it started. Which is why I will do my best to see to it that my man won't find himself trying to come up with an answer. I realize that it is light humor and I thought it was funny.

LOL @ LONE. Honestly I have never done that to a guy before.

Steel Magnolias is a sad movie but these two parts crack me up. #1. when they use fire crackers to get rid of the birds. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JzhuhfEljeI. and #2. when Claire asks Ouiser why is she so chipper. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auvJZ5TDFSI

lmao thats hilarious

lol thats cute

LOL omg! thats funny

In the area in which I live the Police do welfare or well being checks whatever you want to call it. If EMS is needed, then police will call back in for the EMS unit but other than that the door kicking is left for the Police to handle.

LOL omg! thats funny. Thanks for Sharing that

Thats absolutely horrible. It is truly sadden that people make themselves out to be military. those families, most of ALL those men deserve our respect. Anyone who are serving and had serve they are the reasons we are here today. ANYONE TAKING anything FROM THOSE WHO REALLY SERVE THIS COUNTRY is not worth the dirt he/she walks on. Take Care and God Bless Our REAL troops

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