Kiwiology

We just give everybody free methadone which works well for the most part

Whats a DNP?

You mean Kiwispeakz lol

Have you had a stroke? Also what is this silly nonsense about drug seekers bloody hell

Lets y'all stop this feudin where the Great Nation of Indiana be concerned Now if you will excuse me, I have to go and try to find somewhere that offers a right turn

Diabeetus?

No, I am actually serious. http://circ.ahajourn...00/13/1364.full To be fair they did person-person blood transfusions back in the day as well but still Hey you know in 50 years they'll be saying about us "now to be fair they gave people adrenaline for cardiac arrest back in the day to..."

trev, mate, we've got to get you help ....

i have absolutely no idea; any abnormal lab values? recent travel to africa? exposure to tribal rituals? ... kuru?

I have no idea what you just said ....

Far as I know it's called Teratology of Fallot oh look its a case of shut the hell up and dont say things to make Kiwi look stupid There is also a movie called Something the Lord Made about Blalock, Thomas and Taussig At least three of the four known defects are always present; the fourth is a ventricular septal shunt which was not curable until the mid 1950s when a surgeon named Walter Lillehei became the first doctor to repair the hole and thus prevent the mixing of oxygenated and deoxygenated blood. Now, Lillehi was obviously a very smart bloke but unfortunately he was also um how to put it best, totally fucking demented, in that he used a bunch of live healthy people and anastamosed the femoral artery and vein from his patients to the healthy person so that they could act as a heart lung machine while he clamped off the cardiac vessels of the patient. It was Blalock in the early 1930s who debunked research by Walter Cannon (who ironically got his ideas on the Battlefields of WW I) which led to the modern practice of volume replacement for shocked patients. Think of him next time you're infusing a bag of fluid into somebody It should be well noted that despite my mild interest in the historical development of surgery I have no interest in becoming a surgeon nor anything remotely related to surgery; I will be staying behind the surgical drape and reading my magazine maybe occasionally sending the anaesthetic technician out for coffee and snacks but not once ever looking at the monitors; that is why we have audible alarms, this novel i am reading is far more important than some numbers on a screen

your car is a lesbian? thats slightly awesome

so that explains where the giant class ring went ...

Continuing the practice may put your service at risk of looking archaic and inhumane too

Yeah but I couldn't resist. Now I confuse ... you're giving them oral glucose to "absorb" through the oral mucosa? How interesting; seems like a bit of a waste of time; oral glucose paste is awfully sticky muck that does not lend itself to having a structure well suited for absorption; it's not you'd atomising a bit of midaz up their snoz or something. Around here a patient is given 20ml of glucose if they can swallow it hmmm

45 minutes? do you have to call down the acute anaesthetic registrar or something?

From the late eighties up until about 2003 it was standard practice for the then-named Advanced Care Officer (Paramedic) to carry PR stesolid (diazepam) for seizures in addition to IV/IM midazolam Apparently the diazepam suppository was "very easy" to slip in ... I'm just not going to think about it

I wouldn't be too keen to have a pull on it; pillow the void and tie it in place; give him some ketamine and take to hospital

Our preference here is to orally give 10% glucose drawn out a 500ml IV bag into a 20ml syringe If that doesn't work either 10% glucose IV for Paramedic and above or Technicians have glucagon I'd rather give somebody some glucagon personally, less traumatic than shoving a drip in only to leave them at home

Why do I always have that effect on people? WHY? I had two gay dudes at work convinced I was gay, I think one of them was quite dissapointed .... poor Ross Also I've been making an ass of myself I got teratology and tautology mixed up despite learning tetra as a prefix in chemistry look it's even in my notes on chemical bonding e.g. dinitrogen tetraoxide or N2O4 ... what a silly small flightless bird I am I might make some lunch and watch this documentary on cardiothoracic surgery despite finding surgery both horrendously disgusting and brilliantly fascinating I have no desire whatsoever to become a surgeon http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uu_iL5w9pS8&feature=relmfu

Great, now Emergentologist thinks I am bisexual .... I am going to read a little Harrison's Internal Medicine and pout in the corner

I say we bring back the hacking off of limbs with a rusty saw by a Chiurgeon while the patient is awake and then their haemmorhaging stump can be cauterised with boiling oil Half will die from infection or exsanguination and the other half will not make it out of surgery That way there will be no need for an overhaul and the IAFF and volunteers will not complain especially not them upstate NY vawlenteeha's with buff several hundred thousand dollars fire halls and vehicles brimming with lights and tech but no blood pressure cuff Oh you may find it interesting that Andreas Pare the inventor of the modern technique of surgical suturing was a barber Chiurgeon during the battle of Turin in 1536. It took over 300 years for his technique to become accepted practice. No, not for your Nissan, for my Jeep yes.

Nah denial is just the first stage

LOL that is funny the doctors had their heads buried in the ACLS book; see this is why a smart phone is handy ... or y'know Nurses who know little things like that; cardioversion joules, how to put in a chest tube and you don't ... Wait, who is letting you out of the emergency department? We need to get you a shorter chain ... Awesome, so you haven't figured out I hate you yet? It's working

Which do you recommend?