Kiwiology

If that Lifepak 10 comes with a taco then where do I apply? I miss the LP10

It took us probably 20 years to get any decent analgesia above entonox; nubain and fortral were in use during the 1980s only for selected "Paramedics" as they were then known (Advanced Care Officer). In 1990 they were replaced with morphine in very conservative doses; in 2001 morphine + midazolam was introduced, methoxyflurane in 2005 for limited space or weight restricted staff e.g. Ambulance Rescue or the Motorcycle Response Unit, ketamine in 2007 and fentanyl in 2011

Mate, you are ​a terminal illness ....

I wasn't getting a dig at you mate, but it is my absolute damn near #1 pet hate when people slap somebody on oxygen "just because" without any consideration if they need it or not. There is good evidence that supra physiologic amounts of oxygen make outcomes worse for MI and stroke patients.

No cos Emergentologist is cheap, he made me sleep in the back of his car at the camping ground If he'd listened to my advice and become an Anaesthesiatologist he could be pulling 500k and afford a room .... He did offer to take me to one of those pay by the minute motels off the free way but it looked a bit dodgy Yup that is true, them Doctors are busy at the computer using that super secret medical knowledge formulating treatment plans looking at Facebook Whilst Medicine is very important and focuses on the as-definitive-as-possible solution to the physical problem (see and fix the disease process) I don't think that really matters a whole lot if you don't look at the holistic needs of the patient. Some Physicians are absolutely bloody brilliant at it, some are absolutely crap and view medicine as a purely academic exercise in people mechanics and are devoid of any people skills what so ever. Pretty much how it works here; talk to the Surgical Registrar, he agrees to admit the patient to the surgical service and at some point the Surgical House Officer comes down to review and arrange admission. No pizza for you now; and the pizza place has large on special for $4.99 each, I was going to get you a peperoni pizza but now you can just sit in the car and wait while I eat mine in the store and make you watch through the window and try to talk up the hot chick sitting at the table next to me mwahahaha

A private entity has every right to exclude who it wants and I don't have a problem with that per-se however to exclude somebody just because of their sex is really no longer cool; just like if they excluded white people, black people, Catholics, people with gimpy legs or wandering eyes y'know?

Where in the house is he? Anything around to suggest what might be causing his problem e.g. gas left on, empty pill bottles, meth pipes? General physical state? How grossly unwell does he look? Observations? Any signs or symptoms of chronic or acute cardiorespiratory disease or dysfunction? I wouldn't put him on O2 unless his SPO2 is < 98%; oxygen is not a "general" treatment nor it is a treatment for tachypnea

The RNZCGP bursary for GP trainees is $42,000 tax free so that's half your medical debt erased in one transaction Don't hate on me, I had to get some love, Emergentologist doesn't love me and his wife told me I was bad in the sack

Bitch please you know you love me, bloody Emergentologists who only have three years of vocational training and weren't even a House Officer, the lowest form of life on earth, lower than bottom feeding suction eel and the hyphae on my butt crack, thinking they know how it is American Consultant: Ima tube him! Kiwi: You can't do that, you have to ask the ICU Reg if they'll accept him first! American Consultant: but but but he needs to be teh tubed! Kiwi: Yes, but you must send him somewhere after he is tubed, like ICU, the Doctors who work in ICU have to accept him for admission first! American Consultant: I see ... Next thing the Consultant is yelling at the ICU Registrar ... Oh and wish me luck Emergentologist I applied to medical school yesterday its so hard they want a statement on why I want to become a Doctah bloody hell ... "I wantz to become Doctor to show up this Consultant Physician I met on an online forum who probably lives in his basement at his mum's house hiding from the light; sorry whats that? no i don't know what the fuck a proton is, none of that is important, give me a seat!" Seriously there are like 200 applicants for 20 graduate spots; some of them have PhDs and shit ... makes me look like crap, but not as bad as a House Surgeon, they are the lowest form of life known to man and I want to be that lowest form of life (in six years) Now, I found out if you become a GP the Government flicks you fifty grand (which is like 2/3 of your medical debt paid off) and you only do three years vocational training instead of five or more for any other speciality Whatsay we stop this feudin and go get us a pizza Oh and I am cheating on you with a Dentist in Kalamazoo ... I had to, your wife kicked me out, she said I was too skinny for decent lovin' ... sigh

Kiwi is absolutely cookoo bananas for cookies!

If it costs so much you're obviously doing something wrong if you ain't pulling 500k then ... somebody is sucking up the money in between the patient and you Might want to go talk to the lady who works in the billing office ... does she pull down 500k? lol Yes, its expensive, when I was in ER in California for gastro cost me over $2600 for two bags of fluid and some ondansetron; they charged me for the nurse, for the doctor, for the cannula, for the bags of fluid, for the syringes, for the flushes, for the bloody alcohol preps to clean my skin before they stuck the drip in me .... I think each syringe was like $9 ... a syringe costs seven cents here hmm

Intensive Care Medicine, Anaesthesia and Emergency Medicine are the three interrelated specialities that offer dual-training programs leading to double specialisation here and in AU; Anaesthesia and ICM have an established pathway; Anaesthesia and EM is a bit more complex and less well defined but still possible. Looks like you only need three years training to be an Anaesthetist in US too ... shouldn't be that hard right? Also LOL at having to supply your medical school transcript and USMLE scores for residency (vocational training) applications; here nobody gives a fuck what your grades are like; I guess when I do USMLE to make sure I can work in US (we have no such test) that I might have to answer something other than "ask the Registrar, or if he died from fatigue ask the Consultant, or if he resigned from being burnt out and has not been replaced because of lack of money look it up on your iPhone" 322 times over

You know mate I thought about your POV too; it is a private entity that can choose to do whatever the bloody hell it wants That said it's not really acceptably societally or naturally for such practice

You missed this very important part Anaesthesia especially private elective lists (tummy tucks etc) is where the money is mate You should be talking to the American Board of Anaesthesiology srsly ....

Who cares since I also cannot play golf very well I'll be at the Clubhouse getting rotten drunk and stuffing my face Seriously it is wrong

He can give me the suit, I need it for my medical school interview (if I get one) Somebody has to put thee three year vocationally trained ERDoctologists in their place "Yes hello my name is Kiwi I'm one of the doctors, I have a six year undergraduate medical degree, two years of pre-vocational training as a House Surgeon/Senior House Officer and six years of vocational training, I am a dual qualified specialist Emergency Physician and Anaesthetist, how can I help with your stubbed toe today? Wait before I ask, do you have insurance that will reimburse me so I make over $500,000 this year and can buy a new mega yacht? You don't hmm .... SECURITY!" It is not his responsibility to pay for food he is doing a nice social gesture towards the Ambulance Officers for allowing him to come into their work environment and spend some time with them.

I agree, my New York accent is not top notch, my Bostonian accent is fah bettah esp in the cah or on the T if I am feeling environmentally er, ah friendlyah ... Now my laid back redneck accent from somewhere east of Kansas is pretty killer *spits on ground

Yo yo yo hooze you tawkin to like that, why I oughta come ovah there! I'd continue this pointless rant at you but I have to put my medical school application togetha I wantz to be a Dawctah yo ...

Reminds me of the time this guy just walked in and pushed infront of me at Subway at like 59th and Broadway (as in Subway, not the MTA) I'm like (inz my best angry Brooklyn accent) "YO whatz is yooz doin man up in the here right now why I oughta bust yooze freaking face!"; he walked out, then ima like man that was awful brave of me, I could have gotten shot or some crazy shit, but that's NY for you, larger than life ...

No, I just like giving you shit Yes, I do, you're a bloody funny tawking New Yorker vollie from Lawn Guyland who thinks he knows how it is And no, I do not look good in a speedo esp not in the Great Mitten winter Now, lets go get pissed so I don't hijack any more threads

Bloody Emergentologists with a four year medical degree, one year internship and three years vocational training In any other country you'd be a first year Registrar (Specialist Trainee) with another four years of vocational training to go and know how low down the food chain you really were PS Love you Emergentologist even tho I'm not counting your undergraduate degree because that's not really medical education per-se one year of pre-med seems to suffice outside US

Nuh-uh cos I haz Android smartypants phone and I can just hold down the thing and say "directions out of here" and it'll start dictating when to turn

Thats pretty freaking awesome up in the right now thank you for sharing

Yes, especially that Emergentologist ... he secretly hates me but won't admit it cos he's a big poo poo head! And yes, everybody has secrets, even me, but they are tucked away in the dark, dark corners of my mind, places so mentally unhealthy, devoid of life and filled with unimaginable psycho emotional pain and anguish PS Love you Emergentologist now give me some haloperidol and midazolam to get me out of this dark corner

Glad to see you still come round here mate Now just to reiterate for y'all If you're going to intubate, anaesthetise and paralyse, use a bougie and ETCO2 or don't do it at all Intubating an asthmatic patient is bad ju ju If you do decide to intubate an asthmatic patient (nb aforementioned bad ju ju) ignore ETCO2 and allow permissive hypercaponea Ventilate them slowly at 6 breaths per minute and allowing for a prolonged expiratory phase is critical to avoid hyperinflation and cardiac arrest Once again, intubating an asthmatic patient is bad ju ju Thanks for listening