Kiwiology

What, you mean that you don't have to write 5,000 word essays, draw the complete anaphylaxis pathophysiologic cascade from first exposure on a blank piece of paper or y'know differentiate colloid osmotic pressure from net filtration pressure or nothin' like that? Shucks, and here I was doing them sorts of things like a sucker /taking the piss

That's why I never use my real name and you can't identify me personally based on anything I post

*hands on hips ... and what i ask would the BNF know? (/taking the piss) We have max dose here of 1.5g every four hours and 4g every 24 hours Yeah that panadol OD is a nasty way to die all right

Crazy Hoosier ambos

Lewis dot structures are freaking grinding me at the moment, its like WTF? Great, now I feel like a dumbshit jk

Chemistry (either Chem 101 and Biochem 101 or some schools have a "chemistry for health professions" which is combined fundamentals of general, organic and biological chemistry as they apply to "allied" health professions i.e. not medicine) Microbiology Anatomy and Physiology English composition Psychology Some will tell you to take Biology and Physics but I'm not sure about them If you can find general "pathophysiology" and "pharmacology" classes take them too; some schools incorporate them into the nursing curricula however (probably larger) schools have them as "stand-alone" classes which fit into a range of allied health programs I'm jealous, in-state tuition for you blokes is dirt cheap like what, $100/cr so like $300/class ... here you're paying around $650 for each university class Oh and I absolutely loathe genetics, the next person who talks to me about mitosis, meiosis, RNA or DNA is getting twisted into a double helix

Cough, professionalism, cough, active syntheisis ACh and ATP allowing for neuron firing and using that big sponge like thing inside the cranial vault, cough Excuse me while I get a glass of water

I will never understand the American fascination with bristojet (the Johnny and Roy screw-together type) drug preparations All of our drugs come in glass ampoules or plastic snapoules We looked at pre-filled (bristojet) adrenaline but they are very expensive, an ampoule of adrenaline and a filter needle costs about $2

It shouldn't be of concern; I mean honestly who cares? If a news crew or some scrote's mates with their camera phone want to film me go for it - I am an ugly bastard and it's going to take one hell of a lot of Photoshopping or After Effects to pretty me up Now having said that, the patient or the family (as appropriate) obviously has a choice and right to decline. If whoever is filming or taping pictures is making the crew's job harder or being a fucktard then they can bugger off.

I strongly advocate patients' right to choose, even if it's not what I would choose

This. Most simple fractures and dislocations only need a bit of pain relief during splinting/extrication and are managed here with entonox and/or morphine as required; those in severe, irretractable pain (e.g. compound fractures, shattered femurs) get ketamine.

Morphine + midazolam is something we've had for about ten years, but we use very small doses i.e. 1mg IV at a time, some might even go so far as to give 1mg followed by 0.5mg doses as required It was very popular here but has fallen way out of fashion since we got ketamine

Oh yes this deep talk of anaesthetic drugs is just so gosh darn sexy

You say you're on the local Fire Department; if somebody calls you as opposed to 911 can you not call it in and get 911 to organise some sort of response; I imagine y'all carry pagers or radios or something ... Be it your local Fire Department, the State Police, local hick good ole boy drunken Sheriff or somebody paid from two counties you need backup to go to a job Now by God whatever the bloody hell you do make sure one of the people who rocks up out the sky on the LifeLine helicopter is not a funny talking Kiwi in a black jumpsuit .... and if it happens to be, have the Farmer hog tie him down good y'hear? Hmm lets see; cornfield 1 o'clock low, hmm, some power lines, looks like they've closed the road off, there, looks like some bloke trapped under a tractor, Fire on scene, clear to ground, Indy, LifeLine descending, call you lifting ....

We have the option of using fentanyl (IV or IN) plus ketamine but I have not seen it used

357,000 calls Ambulance calls City 3, for ALS, 100 north, 200 west, nine echo Aw man .... make that 357,001

and/or

Yeah go for it, I ended up on YouTube one night apparently, still haven't bloody found it yet! The cops have been filmed for years; maybe I should get me a 1987 Dodge Diplomat, big Magnum hand cannon, 80s beat-down style wooden nightstick and aviator sunglasses?

We've been using midazolam for seizures since at least the very early 1990s ... don't worry about it

For primary cardiac arrest no, for a secondary cardiac arrest where a clearly reversable cause is discovered very, very early in the resuscitation attempt then yes there may be a place for transporting a patient with CPR For ischaemic strokes there is a window where "clot busting" drugs can be given and it's about three hours from onset of symptoms

I think what you mean is you're a CERT or SJA vollie, or an ACO perhaps? None of these are "Paramedics"?

Funny Of course it's allowed, if somebody doesn't like us, they can bugger off!

I like that Senior Sister the lesbo off 24 Hours in A&E she can make sure my pillow is facing in a Nightingale approved direction Speaking of tradition, the next Ambulance Officer starting a drip without gloves is getting told "Oi fella, do you want Semmelweis to come after you? You do know dead have errie powers yeah?"

Wait, you mean there is crime in Canada? Whodathunk it eh? Freaking awesome

The Defense budget is how many billion dollars now? You know they might be eating dehydrated noodles and crackers for chow but their clinic lab is world class Yeah, gram positive something ... where is that Koch bloke when you need him?