I agree.
Been there, done that. I think any Medic with any time in the field has had that happen.
Was it a 'rent-a-doc', or a full time ER physician, or a local practicing doc that was in rotation to cover the ER that day? An ER doc that doesn't know how to intubate without causing trauma, and does not check for tube placement him/herself needs to learn a thing or too.
But on the call itself. It was not your fault. Please don't kick yourself. Yes, there were lessons learned, but you just happen to be in a profession that errors can cost lives. Like a doc I knew said, " We visit our mistakes in the grave yard." That has always stuck with me for some reason.
I was a Fire/Medic and there is no way I would not at least listened to you. Yes, I would have given the nitro in a heart beat (no pun intended). At that heart rate it would not "tank". Lasix and MS would also have been given. In the house, starting the IV, give 'em one shot while preparing the pt. to be placed on the cot and go. Your crew and the FD crew needs to work as a team and multi-task as such. Maybe I was spoiled but when I worked with a private service and ran calls with the FD we pretty much all worked closely together, as a team. Later on is when I got on the same FD full time. So I was still working with the same team, just flip flopped who I worked for.
OK, I'll stop rambling. Point is, the ball was dropped. Not by you, not fully by the Fire/Medic, but as a team. The ER, that's a different story. Since I never worked in an ER full time, I won't slam them.
But as an ACLS-Instructor, me and that doc would have had words.