So you thought police officers didn't have a sense
of humor.... The following were taken off of actual
police car videos around the country.
#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're
new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
#14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make
your birth certificate a worthless document."
#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
#12 "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per
second? In case you didn't know, that is the
average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from
my gun."
#11 "So you don't know how fast you were
going. I guess that means I can write anything
I want on the ticket, huh?"
#10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor,
but I don't think it will help. Oh .. did I mention
that I am the shift supervisor?"
#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm
warning you not to do that again or I'll give
you another ticket."
#8 "The answer to this last question will determine
whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a
cat or a dog?"
#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is
a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton
candy, and step in monkey $#*!."
#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets
and my wife gets a toaster oven."
#5 "In God we trust,all others we run through NCIC."
#4 "Just how big were those two beers?"
#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We
used to have quotas but now we're allowed to
write as many tickets as we want."
#2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good
personal friend of yours. At least you know someone
who can post your bail."
and the best one .
#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?
.... You're right, we don't. ... Sign here."