chazmedic

"Really, it's the flu. Not a hangover" Saw this a couple of years ago at a state EMS convention for sale. Had a big 'ol star of life on the front and back and had the "Top Ten Lies Told By EMT's" on the back. Other gems included: "Yeah I'm good starting IV's." "It's the road, not my driving" "I have to remove your clothes to assess your lungs sounds" "Why I cleaned the back of the ambulance just this morning" It was right next to the "Redneck EMS", "Big Johnson EMS", and the "Co-Ed Naked EMS" shirt. "Only the tough, code blue in the buff" Give me my raise now!

Another way to think about it: how would YOU want YOUR grandmother treated? Most elderly call us because they honestly don't know what to do and Fire and EMS has sold itself to the public as "the problem-solvers". Granted I have had my share of the BS where the person is only calling for attention or because they've fallen again and really should be in a nursing home. But most of them really think they're having an emergency and "those nice boys and girls from the Fire Department and the nice Ambulance Drivers came over and helped." If you want to put in a program like this, staff more field units and put in ALS response/assessment cars with a Paramedic. The res/assess could go and determine more what is needed (call their doctor, order in a transport, begin the code). The Priority Dispatch system is good, but not perfect. You're trying to assess over the phone. The caller probably doesn't understand. I used to dispatch this system and discovered you could lead the caller in the questioning. Plus, the dispatcher is taught that they can in a two day course assess over the phone better than you can in person after going to a class for 1200 hours. BTW, our dispatchers are paid more than the paramedics. I love a fair and just world. Just my rant.

Remember, this is the Humor forum. And now: "I'm clear, you'r...oops....my bad." Chazzer

EMS quotes: "EMT: Elvis Museum Trinket" "EMT: Every Manual Task" "Paramedic: French for God" "You can't spell PROBLEMS without EMS!" Non-EMS quotes: "Keep honking, I'm reloading"! "Keep honking, you're easier to track that way" "Warning: I'm currently in an alternate dimension." And my all time fave: "Your head is so far up your ass, that lump in your throat has got to be your nose!" Chazzer

Magnum condoms, roll of tape, bungee cords, tube of KY, coffee filters, a box of ammo, a TV dinner, and ask the clerk if the garden section has any bags of lime.

I've had my bell rung a couple of times. Here's the worst (and it was intentionally caused): Had a new EMT with a huge attitude driving one day. She watched in the rear view mirror, and waited until she say me move around, lean over, and reach for something, then slam on the brakes. Threw me up into the front cabinets then down into the door well backward. Just about knocked me out. She claimed someone pulled out in front of hear. But I remembered seeing her eyes in the rear view just before. After awhile a few other medics reported similar experiences. We all had one thing in common. We wouldn't let her run the calls (she EMT, we medics). Weeks later she admitted to a co worker who was dating her she was doing it to show "who was boss".

I have a good friend that is a cobbler who does extensive leather work. I'll ask him what he thinks it could be. I know from hanging out in his shop there are several chemicals used in leather work. Dyes, glues, solvents, and what not. Any of these could cause health issues and reactions. His last assistant had to quit after she became pregnant because of the chemicals and the harm they could cause the fetus. Also, leather is a natural product. It could simply be a allergic reaction.

No pick up?

We currently have AMR breathing down our necks. Our service was in the process of reorganizing into a public utility model. They showed up and set up shop wanting to do transfers and bid for the PUM. All government entities backed out of the PUM idea because they didn't want to get rid of us, just reorganize the board of directors and the funding process. Now everyone is to afraid to do anything, the entire system is stalling out. We're kinda in limbo. The county underwrites the loans for replacing the units. Now, the county doesn't want to buy new trucks because they don't know if AMR will try a take over. Meanwhile, our replacement program has ground to a halt because we can't get the county to underwrite the loans. It's a giant circular arguement. The overseeing committee and the county claims AMR has destabilized the existing system. It appears they are right. Maybe that's how they'll take over.

3 am. Called for a guy who had a cigarette lighter stuck in his anus. Why was a cigarette lighter stuck in his anus you ask? Because he had been found guilty of something and had a 40 day stay in the county jail. They don't allow tobacco in the jail. Quote time: "I could get $10.00 for the lighter and $2.00 a cigarette." Ah yes, our boy was a highly refined smuggler of prohibited goods. Bringing joy to cons everywhere. When he got there, the jail was overcrowded so they just released him with a fine. It's now 12 hours later and he wants the lighter out. At the hospital, X rays revealed...no lighter. He forgot to mention the big poop earlier that eveing. And yes, we asked him that one. I always wondered where the cigarettes were hidden. "Hey man, these don't taste like menthols!"

My service has been facing a "reorganization" for the past year. We serve a county of 160,000 residents (not counting the cities), one large city of 68,000 residents and 8 small towns with a combined total of 25,000 residents. Roughly 253,000 residents spread out over 1200 square miles. So you end up with three groups interested in this. One idea was a Public Utility Model. That is now dead. Second, was a City/County Committee. Terminal coma. Enter AMR wanting to take over. Panic by us, the county, and small towns. The big city starts saying that their going to do whatever they want. "Screw you guys. I'm going home." The county judge and the small towns then propose a "interlocal agreement" with the big city. Then suddenly...this: :shock: ëIn the broken phaseí BY ADAM WALLWORTH Northwest Arkansas Times Posted on Saturday, July 29, 2006 URL: http://www.nwanews.com/nwat/News/43250/ Washington County Judge Jerry Hunton made his argument Friday for bailing out the failing Central Emergency Medical Services. Speaking to four mayors at a meeting of the county’s Intergovernmental Cooperation Council, Hunton said the ambulance service, which serves most of the county, is in worse shape than he thought it was when he began looking into it a year ago. “ I think we’re already in the broken phase of this thing, ” Hunton said. Mayors Dan Coody of Fayetteville, Sonny Hudson of Prairie Grove, Dick Long of Johnson and Henry Buchanan of Lincoln were receptive to Hunton’s proposal to work together to find a solution for providing ambulance service in the county. A joint committee made up of members of the Fayetteville City Council and Washington County Quorum Court have been looking at options for providing a long-term solution to ambulance service in the county. The group has been discussing the possibility of creating an interlocal agreement to run the service and establishing a per-resident tax to fund it. During the last committee meeting, members discussed a potential tax of $ 10 per person for the cities, with the county chipping in $ 15 per person. Fayetteville’s representatives were not receptive to the prospect of increasing the city’s subsidy of the service from $ 250, 000 to $ 670, 000. Hunton said he wanted to bring the mayors into the conversation because the committee is not making much progress. He said he supports creating the interlocal agreement, which would include replacing the Central EMS board of directors with a three-member committee, which would represent Fayetteville, the county and the small towns. The option of asking companies to bid on the service right now is something Hunton opposes. He said he is biased toward Central EMS because it is a local company and he wouldn’t trust private companies’ bids for the service unless Central EMS could also bid. However, Hunton said, because of existing debt, capital needs and other financial difficulties, Central EMS would not be able to bid on the service right now. He said he would like to see the governments bail out Central EMS and wait until this time next year before deciding whether to request bids on the service. Hunton said helping Central EMS become financially stable would bring honesty to any bidding process that may occur. Coody said that in light of budgetary issues, such as salary and benefit increases that could come out of an ongoing compensation study, the city is sensitive to the potential costs of the partnership. He said that while he supports working with the other communities and county, there is a concern about the potential subsidy. Hugh Earnest, a consultant working on the ambulance service, presented the group with updated estimates of the per-person tax, which included a $ 550, 000 contribution from the county, which reflects the $ 15-per-person charge. The schedule included potential revenue that could be generated by a $ 3 to $ 7 charge, based on population estimates from the Northwest Arkansas Regional Planning Commission. The schedule showed Fayetteville with a population of 69, 000, which would result in an annual charge of $ 207, 000 to $ 483, 000. Long supported helping Central EMS and wanted more information on how much it would take to cover the service, as well as capital needs and debt. Earnest said that while there is not an official budget estimate for next year, it would likely take around $ 4 per person, though that would not include debt. Debt reduction could likely cost another $ 1 per person, he said. Coody said that while he might support the interlocal agreement, he would not support only focusing on saving Central EMS because there can be no “ sacred cows. ” Any bids can be rejected, Coody said, but it may be possible to get more financially sustainable ambulance service from a different provider. Earnest will present a memo of what the interlocal agreement would entail to the Fayetteville City Council at its Aug. 15 meeting. Copyright © 2001-2006 Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, Inc. All rights reserved. Contact: webmaster@nwanews.com I think we're screwed. This is the first any employees have heard this. Two days prior to this coming out we had a staff meeting where we were told everything is fine, we're just in a holding pattern.

Ridryder 911...I love you, man! Your the sh*t! Take my wife (please, she's very demanding). I think I started this thread because I am very tired today. Of everything right now. My former regular partner (EMT) was great. Self-starter, loved to work, knew his sh*t. But, he moved to a bigger, better paying service. So, for the past 2 months I've been getting floaters. And yes, that could mean several things. In the past 2 weeks, I've had 4 critical calls where my partner was nothing more than a driver to me. The last call was a 15 month old that had been ran over. I had two of these EMT's there and I still felt like I was totally by myself until the supervisor showed up. Neither one could even find the IV supplies in the pedi trauma kit. Fortunately, she is fine today. But still, with my old partner it would have been a lot smoother. The guy I'm working with today I noticed wasn't even pushing the cot down the hallway. The patient was a 300 pounder on his way to an open MRI (I wonder why) and I was up front pulling. I noticed it was getting really hard and I thought "wow, this guy must be over 300." That's when I noticed. He didn't know to push the cot!! I get a new partner next month. Great guy. Things should be better. He's a little younger than me, but he has worked for a living. Used to be a ranch hand, house builder, currently a firefighter (we're both on a peak time truck, which means we're considered part-time by management. Kinda like working at Wal-I'llstoprightthere). I've worked with him on the ambulance before and I can tell he's more motivated. Self-starting. Does the job. I was just wondering if anyone else had seen a pattern with the younger generation in this field? Okay, okay. I'm finished ranting. 1 hour to end of shift and a nice cold beer.

Okay, I'll stop. I don't really have time to research this from previous posts (like I don't have time to cut and paste a lot of sticker slogans and crap) so I'll take your word for it. Mostly 'cause you seem nice and I like that. So I'll just go back to beating them with the Maglight and saying they fell...a lot. :shock:

Just do like Beagle and throw the patient out the window to the waiting cot below. And hope his aim is on.