While I don't think your post in anyway makes you less qualified to be in EMS, since compassion can be given out discriminately based on situation, I do think it's a good enough reason to get together just to mourn/feel emotions/bond.
The physical acts are just physical acts, the date is just a date, even exact number dead is just a number, and doesn't mean much without the effects of the them, which in our case was mainly emotional (with good reason).
THOUGH, I still understand what you're saying...I personally don't get into the whole "We Will Never Forget" thing, b/c everyone started clinging way too soon after the attack to that semi-vindictive slogan, instead of concentrating on grief and political meaning of events, almost a defensive mechanism.
BUT it's not fair to judge people based on whether they remember dates if that's not what they value...they probably couldn't remember the date Britney married that guy, either. As military/public service/medical personnel, we place more value on facts/dates, etc.