RGLJ

Hmmm...well thanks for the postive posts! And to the digressors...here is the story as I know it. The seizure was documented as being due to dehydration, potassium in the toliet. I was having "seizure activity" in the squad and outlying hospital before being flown to the Level 1 hospital, and seizure-type activity in the chopper. Neuro docs there reported it as "probable status eptilepticus". I was on my front porch feeling like shit and the next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital on the vent. It is estimated that I was alone and unconcious for 2 hours before being discovered. I do not know why I was in respiratory failure, other than that I have asthma and it was exacerbated during this event. I was admitted June 19, released June 23. I had no other seizure activity while admitted, even off seizure meds. Electrolytes back to normal upon discharge, officially off all seizure meds as of today, per doctor recheck. Normal EEG, CT of brain. Yes, I went on a call via my volunteer department a week after being admitted. How and why? I don't know what to tell you, other than I am not a person that takes to being idle well, I am stubborn and bullheaded at times, and I have a crew that is like family to me. Yes, I am keeping better hydrated and eating better, yes, I am resting when I can, yes, I am back to my summer A & P class. I have had family staying with me since the incident to help, and I am now back to chasing my daughter around and living (and loving!) my life. If anyone wants to call this "shit", so be it. I don't lie and I am not looking for pity or whatever else anyone may think. I came on a professional forum, whose members I respect, to get advice on an issue. I am not a teen or twenty-something looking to make stupid shit up. If you wold like copies of my medical records from the 19th feel free to ask. There has been no talk of losing any privledges to date, and I have met several times with our fire/EMS chief and am cleared to continue on calls. I am an outgoing, upbeat, friendly person who knows what she wants and am willing to work my ass off to get it. I agree, talking to someone about the PTSD-type symptoms will help and will be acted upon accordingly. Also, anyone wondering if my husband did die, I would be happy to send you the coronors report and a picture of our child. I truly understand that people "troll" forums and post stupid shit, but I assure you, I am not one of them. Take all this information as you will, I will continue to read the very informative and helpful topics in the "city"; I just might think twice about starting my own thread in the future. I am who I am, take it or leave it. Thanks for listening.

Very Sincerely,

Meghan

Being new to this forum, I hesitated to post this here, but then I figured, what the hell!? Lol!

Long story short: I am a new EMT-B, starting medic school in the fall (don't panic, I was an MA and radiology tech in my pre-EMS life lol!) I lost my husband in a car accident five years ago, when our daughter was five months old; I tell you this because I think it plays into the way I am feeling right now. Last Tuesday night, I went into acute respiratory failure following a generalized tonic-clonic seizure. I was on my front porch when it happened, and the rural vollie department I work with picked me up. I had my friends and colleagues doing CPR, and all that goes along with it, on the way to the hospital, then I was flown to a major hospital in our area. I woke up in the ICU with an ET tube down my throat, etc., etc. The ET tube hurt terribly, but not as badly as when they suctioned my lungs. (May I never feel that kind of pain and panic again...) I was "awake" on the vent (although loaded with various "chill out" drugs =/ and remember pieces and parts, feelings, thoughts, sounds, people, etc. I am home now, on seizure meds, liver enzymes all whacked out, but feeling better.

I don't even know that I have a question here, I just needed to get this all off my chest. I have been in the hospital before, even on a vent before (many years ago, but I don't remember much of it at all, unlike this time), but this just...freaked me out. I can't stop thinking about the parts I remember, and I feel sick when I look at the ruts in my yard from the rigs. My department was awesome; they visited me in the hospital, sat with my family, called, took care of my house, etc.; we joke now about the chief (who has quickly become like a father-figure to me) finally yelling "Get her in the f*$king ambulance!!" after realizing I was the one down, lol! (Our chief is a big teddy bear of a guy and pretty laid back, but when shit needs done...he gets it done!) I went on my first call yesteday since being back home, and it went really well. However...I am not sure if this is like a delayed reaction to the stress of what happened or what. I don't sleep well, I'm nervous, irritable, restless, etc. The only saving grace was that my daughter was staying the night with my mom that night, but for a while no one knew that, so there was a search started for her until they found out where she was. I guess it drove home the realization that I am all my daughter has left of her parents, and I am, simply, freaked out. I definitely wasn't expecting to go from being the EMT to the patient!

If you've gotten this far in my novel, I thank you! =) I don't know what I am looking for, just a place to vent I guess, so thank you for letting me, and for listening!

With respect,

Meghan

I am new to the forum, but felt a need to respond to this post. To the OP, I understand where you are coming from. I got my EMT-B card about 3 weeks ago. Now, I admit, I have worked in the medical field for quite awhile and have seen some pretty "crazy" things, but I had a call right after I got my card that will live with me always. Let me preface this by saying that I lost my husband in a car accident; our daughter was 5 months old when he died, leaving me a widowed mother at the age of 27.

Called out for a wreck, car versus semi, head-on, semi on fire. Arrived on scene and stepped out of the rig just as the semi began exploding. I remember thinking "this is like a war zone". Young man in the car was DOA, and I was assigned to help with him. He was still (sort of) in the car, and the postion he was in defied nature. We rolled him over to body bag, and I will never, ever forget the look frozen on his face, and the way his legs and pelvis felt as we lifted him (it was mush). Transported to morgue, etc. We later learned this was a suicide and not an accident. I was calm and collected on scene, did my job, no problem. For two days following the call, however, I told myself I can't do this, my confidence is too shaken, I can't do it, I'm a freaking wreck and I don't belong in this field. But you know what? I talked to department members, family and friends about it, in great detail, and I am now a better EMT for it all, newbie or not. I will always remember it, especially since it was my first run as an "official EMT" and the images are burned in my brain. But I got past it, and I am still in love with EMS work, more than any other medical- based job I have ever had. I am on a vollie service in a rural area, and crashes/trauma are pretty common out here. This call prepared me for others like it, and that is how I chose to look at it. I agree with previous posts, talk it out as much as you need to, allow yourself to feel whatever emotions you have, and move forward. If you can't, don't be afraid or ashamed to seek professional help. I hope things get better for you.