PCTtiff

Sounds like a hopeless situation - when looked upon hopelessly. Ever notice how easy it is to see the bad things in life? In a situation? Believe me, I'm the queen of looking at things from the wrong angle (glass as half empty and not half full), so I know what you're going through. In my Christian walk though, I'm learning to see things the way God sees things. If NOTHING is impossible with Him, then nothing should be impossible for me if I believe. Same for you KMAC, it doesn't matter if the rent is 1,000 or 10,000 a month, if you believe it can happen, have faith, work hard and stay optimistic, things will happen for you! Don't look at all the statistics or 'facts' - they only make things overwhelming and depressing. And adding depression to burnout is a dangerous combination. Keep us updated as to what you do. And keep your hope alive. Take a day and try to see all the good in things around you... you know like a grateful patient's smile, or a simple, heartfelt 'thank you' or pat on the back..... that stuff always gets forgotten but if you truly look for it, it's there waiting for you. Believe me, I'm going to do it with you. Never give up and God bless you in all you do! In Jesus, Tiff[/font:8400df8843]

Hi again! Michael, I KNEW you'd be the first to catch a glimpse of this post. Everyone should beware he is like every where at once on the net. And he's quick! So be warned. LOL It's great to be back on here and thanks for always being there for me. Wendy, it's great to hear from you again! Your story is wonderful to hear. Thanks so much for sharing! My sister actually works at an MRDD facility (as a cook) and she sees that through their eyes also. At my doctor's office, I see several MRDD patients once in a while and, can you believe it, they are some of the happiest people! Always smiling - even when they are very ill.... it's like they have the love of God in them even though they can't communicate or take care of themselves very well. Maybe they're angels in disguise... Oh, and on that note, my sister was telling me about something that happened at work just the other day. One of her residents was over dosed on her meds (accidentally) and an ambulance had to be called to transport her. When the medics got there (apparently there was a medic and an EMT) the woman paramedic refused to transport her. The resident was not being violent and they are saying it was because she is MR. How terrible... Dwayne, it's great to hear from you and I missed you guys too! Where've you been and what've you been up to? Are you still out in the field ambulance driving? :wink: (Are you an EMT-B, EMT-I, or paramedic? Do you work in a big city?) Talk to me and let me know what's up! (I'm watching for the post you promised!) I'll share a quick memory I have... I worked at a nursing home before I got the job at the doctor's office where I'm at now. All my residents were special to me, but only one really, really touched me. She was 96 years old and had all the mental quickness. She was such a lovely lady. She became my real Grandma and we spent alot of time together talking, even after I quit. The last time I saw her, I was bringing a CD player in to her so she could listen to her Bible on CD. She was asleep in her old blue chair and looked just miserable. I don't know what made me do it, as I would generally have wanted to let her sleep, but I went over to her to let her know I was there. She never opened her eyes, but she got out that she wasn't much company today and that she loved me and to be good, to wait on God... I hugged her and squeezed her hand, told her I loved her too and I promised I would... I kissed her on the cheek and told her I'd come in again soon.... And that was the last time I saw her. I went through a bad stage, but God comforted me by His promise that I would see her again and by knowing how happy she is now. She was the first and only real Grandma I ever had. Well, that's mine. I love to hear from you guys! TTYL everyone. Good-night! Always in Him, Tiff

Wow, it's been a long time since I've written on this site. Some of you might remember me from the post "Christianity in EMS" (most of you'll have no idea who I am ). Michael has been encouraging me to visit here again and keeps me updated on what's going on here. How is everyone? I know strong feelings were stirred up during that last topic and I was often surprised by the posts (especially Michael's ). I've been even more surprised by the number of views it still receives. Maybe someone will benefit from that turbulent time, God willing. Also, a point I failed to make at the time was, I'm not trying to convert people. Why? Because I can't. I have no ability to do that. It's in God's hands and He has to open a heart to His word. Also wanted to add, to those out in the field, those in the medical field (like me), and those who just go out and work hard to provide a service for others (because EVERY work somehow touches someone else) - you are all SO important. No matter what you think, there's always at least 1 person out there that loves you. So NEVER give up. With love in Jesus, Tiffany Anyone have any memories they'd like to share about how someone unexpectantly touched them and changed the way they felt about something? My patients do that to me from time to time, and often I find myself reflecting.[/font:02799ded65]

Michael, Loved your poem! You certainly have a way with words. I'm sure you have much more literature like this, so share it with us! In Jesus, Tiff

Dear Michael, Here I stand, I can do no other.[/font:0dedcb3213]

Just had to write one more time for anyone who might see this. (I'm a glutton for punishment.) The previous posts have really been something else. They have been debated and dissected :boxing: - not just by Michael and I, but by everyone who has gotten to this point. It's been a LOOONG road, hasn't it? :happy1: Anyway, I had one more thing - actually three more things to add - or as 'someone' ( :happy8: ) dislikes me saying, share with you all. I spent last night reading, found these and knew I had to write. First off, Romans 3:23 - "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Scary? Yes. Hopeless? No. (Oh, and that means you, me and the next guy. Murderer AND white-lie-teller). Secondly, Romans 6:23 - "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." We all earned our punishment, Thank God we don't have to pay for it! Last (and the best usually comes then), Romans 10:13 - "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." The greatest gift of all. And to think, all we have to do to get it is to call on him... Well, there you have it. I said my piece. If anyone wants some more verses like those (especially the inspiring ones), let me know - I got a BIG book full of them! :wink: You don't have to believe it, you're not pressured into reading this. Just think about it. Does it hurt to think about it? Before you buy a car, you want to check everything out, make sure everything is kosher, right? One little thing is though, if you spend a year investigating every little part to be sure, you'll never get a chance to drive it! Sometimes you just have to have faith that the builder made it sturdy enough not to fall to pieces on the highway. THINK about it.[/font:8354508927]

Dear Michael, Your replies are so amusing sometimes! Thanks for replying and for your good humor. Thanks for the encouragement and words. I guess I'll give you this too, I needed to hear it and it helped. Thanks. I'm just learning that all sunshine makes a desert. I know I'm going to have to go through some hard times and I can't just give up and get depressed. Like I said though, I have anxiety problems and I'm trying to work on them too. Sometimes things get to be too much. I have to remember no situation is hopeless as long as I keep my hope in God. Romans 8:31 "What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?". Thanks for re-introducing me to my footing. Yes, we have met before and I'm hoping to hold on to it for a while now. :wink: About that human sacrifice in Golgotha, yes there was a BIG sacrifice there, and yes, as you said, also a BIG difference. Human sacrifices today and yesterday, etc. are NOT related to Jesus' sacrifice at all. That's what He died for, so that our forgiveness did not require a sacrificed life! But, I know you know that, I don't have to tell you. When I get close to people, I want to know that I am going to see them again someday. I mean, if something happens to someone I am close to, I want to be able to look forward to the day when we'll meet again, as in Heaven or when Jesus comes back again. You know what I mean? Oh, I KNOW Jesus is with my family members, I know He is with all those I care about, and I know He's working in their hearts. I don't witness or preach to them alot. I pray for them alot and try to, as you say, show what I believe. There's a point where people won't listen anymore and instead they watch. I just don't want to lead anyone astray by my actions either and it's like a constant battle w/ myself. I drive myself crazy!! LOL I think that's where my anxiety kicks in. Oh well... LOL I know you're never at a loss for an opinion. That can be a good thing! :wink: Even though we don't often agree, I'm glad to hear it. Talk to you later. God Bless you! In Jesus, Tiffany

Dear Michael, Have I finally disappointed you? Again, I apologize. First for the tone I set in my last reply, and second for doing to you what I said you have to me. Forgive me? (As you can tell) I am human, I do get frustrated and I do take it out on people in the wrong way sometimes. Didn't intend on insulting or offending you, and I'm sorry for also 'dissecting' your replies. Really I do enjoy 'conversing' with you. Granted I may have a weird way of showing it, but I've been pretty stressed lately. I am the first to admit, :oops: I need to practice what I preach more and give my problems to God. I've been hoping to work in the ER, but recently found out they aren't hiring. The EMT classes I hoped to take were cancelled. My whole family is going through some kind of a bug. I've been searching and searching for a job and now am trying to apply at a nursing home. ETC., ETC., ETC. It's just alot of things and I get overwhelmed. Again, I apologize for taking it out on you. I still think you 'dissect' everything I write :wink:, but it gives me a different perspective and I think I need it. Seems we both have reason to be sorry to the other. I think we're both coming to conclusions about each other that aren't yet founded. Believe me, I am sorry for giving you any wrong impressions and for over-analyzing your thoughts/words to me. Thanks for trying to 'look out for me' and I do appreciate your insight. Your posts prove your depth and personal knowledge of many of these things and THAT is what I respect - your ability to debate or 'converse' w/o losing your ground. I think I lost my footing in my last post. :roll: You are absolutely right, I CAN'T respect ALL beliefs. I can't respect religions that include witchcraft, spells, human/animal sacrifice, satanic worship, etc. I'm sure you feel the same. I mean, I try to respect people's searching (like Buddha, Islam, etc.). Yes, I also think everyone is searching. You're right on another thing about me. I'm not good with uncertainty. I like to be in control and, as I said, I need to practice what I preach! The hardest thing for me is not knowing. When I get close to people, I want to know that I'm going to see them again (either again, or for the first time) if/when something happens to me/them. I have people in my family that aren't saved and it really affects me, that not knowing. I guess that personality thing with me makes it harder for me to get close to people I 'don't know' about. Forgive me for that also? I have to run again. Hope you've read this and understand. I'll watch my words better next time. Thanks for your 'commitment' and hope to hear from you again. God Bless you. In Jesus, Tiffany

Hello Michael, I said ‘just this once’ last time, but I guess I’ll address this mainly to you ‘once’ again. I agree with you whole-heartedly on one thing, you have unusual commitment. I’m trying to understand why. Do you find someone in me that you like to debate with or do you simply enjoy trying to fluster me? Have you accomplished what your goal was? Reading and re-reading your last reply, I realize, by your contrasting statements, that there is nothing I can say that will satisfy you. One sentence you seem to be trying to compliment me and the next you mock something I’ve said. You dissect and analyze my every word! Tell me, what IS your goal in all this? You try to ‘show’ what you believe… How? I’m not getting the picture. Either you aren’t painting it very well or I’m not seeing it very well. I’ve seen your posts in other topics. You quoted Bible verses (which you didn’t particularly like me doing) and also the Sermon on the Mount. Then you come on here and tear apart everything I say and analyze it in a way you THINK I meant it. The Bible tells us Christians need to be united. They need to support and encourage each other when they think the other is doing something wrong. That’s not what you’re doing. Read 1 Peter 3:8-10, and Ephesians 4:1-5 if you will. When I started this topic it was simply to ask what others believe. I re-read my first post and I still believe that I wrote it that way. I stated what I believe and asked others to do the same. I DO want people to experience Christianity the way I do, and, I agree, in the later posts I did try to ‘promote’ that. I still do and I believe I always will. In the Bible we are commanded to spread the Gospel to all who will hear and I need to focus on that. There are many that need to hear it and want to hear it. God says there is a time when each heart will be open to it and at that point they will either accept it or reject it still. That is the ‘free-will’ part and each will know the truth one day. I know everyone won’t agree with me - I expected MANY not to agree with me. Yes, everyone has that right. Everyone has the right to their own beliefs and respect for them. I DO respect people for their beliefs and I would never condemn them for them. I WILL, however, continue to witness to those who know they need someone more. I think everyone must feel that and they try to fill it with the only things they know, whether it be a religion or lifestyle or career. I know, and MANY know, that Jesus is the ONLY one who can fill that void. I think you must be taking my witnessing as if I were aiming it directly to you. I never said I HAD to convert you, but I DID state that I can’t tell if you need to be! Your stand is not cemented in anything I can see and I’m wondering if it’s built on rock or sand. You really are something else. You say one thing and contradict it with another. Am I to assume that you are trying to confuse me? No, I don’t preach to people that they are damned sinners heading for hell when I ‘preach’. I ‘preach’ that we are ALL sinners and all we need to do is acknowledge that before Jesus, ask His forgiveness and accept Him into our lives to receive the gift of eternal life and happiness. I’m not into the ‘fire-and-brimstone’ stuff that terrifies people to God. God wants people to know He loves them, and He wants them to take comfort in that. He doesn’t want us to live our lives as if we stumble we’re doomed. That’s what Jesus died for. God KNOWS we’re going to stumble, we’re human! It’s not an excuse to sin, it’s reassurance that when we do, we’re forgiven. Let me give you a for instance. I know you won’t be able to see my side, but just try, okay? If you were driving along, off duty, and you see a driver, passed out on the wheel, slowly heading toward a detour sign where a bridge is out, would you try to stop the vehicle before it plummets 100 ft. below, killing all the occupants, or would you let it go because he didn’t ask you for help or wasn’t a close friend? It’s the same way when you see someone in a destructive lifestyle. If your best friend was a drug addict, would you not try to get him help? I realize you can’t help every addict, but would you try? Many think it’s too much trouble or not their business, but the ones that stick their necks out and TRY to help are the ones who succeed in the long run. I bet just one addict changing his life around would be reward enough to those who tried to help. That’s the same way I feel about Christianity. Refer to 1 John 3:16-17 What beliefs of yours do I respect? Well, I respect whatever your beliefs are, assuming you have some. Still would like to know what they are. All you have to do is say, YES I do/NO I don’t believe in God, YES I do/NO I don’t believe in Jesus, YES I do/NO I don’t believe Jesus was the son of God and died on the cross, etc. How do you SHOW any of that stuff? There comes a time were actions just don’t speak for words. Well, I have to run. I’ll enjoy reading your dissection of this post also. Wanted to write earlier, but I haven’t had the chance. I’ve been busy searching for a job and with family stuff. Hope everything is well with/for you and once again, God bless you. I’ll end with 1 John 5:4,5 : “For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world - our faith. Who is he who overcomes the world, but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?” In Jesus, Tiffany[/font:267f25d77f]

LOL I think it dawned on me after I posted it. Oh well. I meant what I wrote, but I didn't mean to create another Godzilla! :roll: I guess everyone needs to be told they're needed every once in a while. Dust, don't expect that too much, but just know that people DO love you and also (in case you read my recent posts w/ Michael) some of us even LIKE you! :wink: In Jesus, Tiff

Hey MCM68, I'm a little late but I had to post anyway. Your anxiety seems familiar to me. My anxiety worries me for when I take EMT-B. (Now THAT is something don't you think?) I have more problems with my breathing. My throat starts to feel tight and it gets harder to breath. I start feeling really claustrophobic, like I'm trapped. I haven't passed out yet though, and like you said, I can hold it together during the situation - it's afterwards when it becomes a problem. I hope everything turned out well with your physicals. If it's anxiety, they say it can be fixed! I think I need to relax more. I lay down on a bed or couch and concentrate on relaxing every muscle in my body. You have to physically tell yourself to relax! I do that at times when I feel really anxious and it helps. It can't hurt to try and maybe it'll help. Dust, you are incredible. You are so intelligent and really know what you're talking about. I can only imagine the people you've touched when you were doing EMS, etc. Bet there are a lot of people out there thankful that YOU were there when they needed someone. Believe it or not, I do look up to you and enjoy learning from you. MCM68, I'm still wishing the best for you. Bet you've probably gotten over it by now and I hope they are all just old memories for you! God Bless! In Jesus, Tiffany[/font:9acde11a7d]

Akflightmedic, thanks for watching over us and ‘keeping it clean’. You make a cool administrator and I hope to learn a lot from you while I’m here also. Big ‘thank you’ to everyone on here. You’ve really shown your deepness and I learned a lot just from these posts. (I know, I keep saying that, but it's true!) You ALL are really cool people and I can only wish the best for each you. God Bless always. <>< Tiffany ><>

Dear Michael, I'll address this just to you this time. First off, I want to apologize. I realize what you are seeing in me now and I truly am sorry for the impression I’ve given you of me. My real 'agenda' has been to share my beliefs as I have asked each of you to do on here. I'm sorry that it's become something you have to question. I never meant it to seem like I was trying to 'convert' you. I was trying to show what I see and where I find my reasons to go on in this life. This is a hard place, and harder it gets every day. I feel strongly about how hard it is even WITH Jesus, and I know how hopeless it is w/o Him. I guess I express myself a little too strongly and it seems as if I'm pushing myself/my beliefs on people. That's a terrible thing, I realize, because it serves to push more away than bring closer. I can tell you have wounds from 'evangelical Christians’. I'm sorry I reopened them. Like I said, I never intended to ‘convert’ you. My reasons for being on this site were NOT to ‘convert’ a whole bunch of people. When I found this site, I immediately liked it as a place to go to talk and learn. I like the people and I love the knowledge here. I’ve learned SO much from the first few posts I read / posted and from the replies I got from you guys (esp. Dust in Med Terms). I don’t intend on just up and forgetting about the site or you guys. Believe it or not, I WANT to get to know people on here (or some of you - I KNOW I can’t get to know you ALL). I'm not a leaver. I don't up and run when I'm confronted. I didn’t mean to insult you by saying you’re a 5!! If I'd have said 1 or 10 you could have taken it either as I really like you or I really dislike you. 5 is right in the middle! I was only joking with you, hence the :wink: after. Also, please know, I'm NOT trying to tell ANY of you what is wrong with you. Many who take offense might themselves see that something is wrong or missing, but I NEVER said it or even thought it. I'm sorry for that implication also. I only want people to know that, to fill that void, all they need is Jesus. I don't have an underlying agenda, my only agenda is to share that with you. (I know you don't like me using 'share', but I'm lacking a better word and also a thesaurus). When I asked 'what would convince you', I didn't mean I had to. I didn't mean I wanted to! I meant and I STILL mean that I would like to know what YOU believe. Also, I apologize that I "rushed at you". I want to know your side better, I don't want to shove mine down your throat. I fully understand, now, where you are getting your impressions of me. My tone can be impersonal sometimes and I'm working on it. I DO NOT want, or plan, to 'preach' to you and up and leave. I want and enjoy friendship as much as the next guy and I wish for the ‘friend that sticks closer than a brother'. I want to be one of those friends. I know what I believe though and I won't hide it or change it for a 'friendship'. That's not what I believe friends are. YES, they accept each other for who they are, but they also (lovingly) try to guide them when they know the other is wrong. (I’m NOT saying you’re wrong) I want people to do that for me also, because I’m SO far from perfect! (As you can tell) You have gone on and on about me 'handing people off to Jesus' and leaving. I'm not going anywhere! I'm not planning on leaving! Did you think I would be so upset after our disagreements that I'd rather just forget all this? I appreciate your replies, I really do! I want to know the impressions people are getting of me and if I can improve them, I want to! You can't change what you don't acknowledge and I acknowledge that I'm not perfect and I haven't stated things the best. I'm working on it though. The quote about siblings... you noted Cain and Abel. True, yes, but don’t you think, for this situation, it’s a little extreme to compare it to my comment? Not every fall out siblings have makes them want to kill each other - at least I don't think so! So, you want a personal story? I’ve got one for you on that topic. I have a sister, an ‘older’ sister, who I can relate that quote to exactly. I love her, but I do not like her AT ALL right now. She has done so many things to hurt my family, namely my mom, and her character is very ugly. Her language is unspeakable (no pun intended), her attitude is only ever defiance when something doesn't go her way, and she's rebelled against every ethical/moral standard a 'good' person would set. I know I LOVE her, but as I said, I certainly don't like her right now. BIG misunderstanding in the last part. I was speaking of the Christian forum I told you about, not of this one! I didn’t mean that my faith and my integrity were attacked on here! These posts have been MILD compared to what I encountered on the “Christian” forum. I went there for support when I was going through one of the toughest times for my family and all I got was condemnation and judgment. Yes, I do want guidance. There are MANY people who are wise beyond their years on here and I am constantly learning just reading the posts. Honestly, this site is still great to me - NOT perfect, but still great. Again, I hope we can get past this ‘squabble’ and still learn from each other. I know you have knowledge beyond your years in your profession and have much to give or ‘share’. I respect your feelings and your beliefs. I don’t judge or condemn people for their beliefs, but I know mine and I’m not afraid to state them (as you can painfully see). Lastly I want to say, thank you for your depth and thank you for telling me what you mean. I learned a lot about you through these discussions and I’m sure that you’ve touched many people in EMS. I’m sure you’ve touched many people just in your life. ><> God Bless you <>< In Jesus, Tiffany P.S. Michael, you stated in one of your first posts that you were ‘here not much longer’ than I. Do you mean on this site or in years? If you don’t mind my asking, how old are you? Hope to talk to you later.[/font:af36160aa8]

Michael, I feel like laughing. I didn't know I would get this much response and I certainly didn't know I would get someone to think this deeply about the subject. I am really surprised and happy. About your answers. I appreciate them... but could you be a little clearer? I'm trying to understand where exactly you stand on the subject, but I don't piece things together that well. Sorry! :oops: Could you elaborate? I'll elaborate and include some of your responses that I'd like to understand. Yours will be italicized. Physical proof is not the only type of proof. What kind of proof are you asking for? Just out of interest, what would convince you? Unless it, or rather He, appears, which is not what most people expect or are easily able to recognize. Easy question for you, what do you mean? Only if self-interest is essential to rationality. Who is self-interested? Are you saying that I am? What do you mean by it? It wasn’t the universal utility of what God offers that I was disputing, but the messages of some of His representatives. Am I one of His 'representatives' whose message you question? What is it that sets apart my posts and my convictions from, say, Medic117's? I think He stated it better than I, but we both believe the same, we both live our faith. What do you question? There are many ministers and denominations out there that I question. I don't put my faith in their message, or esp. them. I put it my faith in Jesus, and try to proclaim only what HE has said to be the truth. I’m sorry, I don’t know which of my thoughts and feelings you are referring to. I'm referring to the ones you write! Every sentence, every word comes from the way you feel. The way you feel comes from what you've experienced. I'm not saying you STATED any of your experiences, I'm saying experiences make your person and your person writes what you feel. See below, you stated it yourself. How could you? Where else but from their experiences do anyone’s thoughts come? Exactly, but people still judge others for them! I wanted to make it clear that I DO NOT judge people for their experiences, for whatever it is that makes them live their lives the way they do. I don't judge their lives. All I know is there is something missing in life if Jesus isn't in it. He was missing in mine for a time too and it was the loneliness I've ever been. I don’t recall that I claimed to know. The point of my post was in fact that, for finite human beings, acquiring information is necessary in order to issue useful prescriptions. Okay, I get that you wanted me to be more personal. Like I said, it's a trust issue but I'll try. I don’t doubt any of this nor minimize its importance, and I don't know what might have led you to think I did. Sorry, it might've sounded like I went off on you. I was just trying to explain some of the 'experiences' I've been through w/o going into GREAT detail. Like I said, you guys wouldn't believe HALF the stuff and my honesty would be questioned next! :roll: So I don't think you want me to go into all that. In case it's of any value to you, I’d be content to think of you as being ready to start loving people you haven’t met, but not being able to love them until you’ve met them. I don’t think even God would expect you to love someone you haven’t yet met. Otherwise, what would be the point of meeting them? This is where it gets tricky. When I meet someone and get to know them awhile, I know I either like them or dislike them. I either enjoy being around them or I don't and there are varying degrees. I don't 'rate' people or anything, it's just a fact. I think EVERYONE does it! Think about it. You can tell right now whether you like me or whether you don't and there's a degree. You couldn't absolutely HATE me cause why would you write? :wink: So, YES, I dislike people and I REALLY hate to be around certain people, but I don't hate them! You can love someone and really dislike them at the same time you know. Siblings do it all the time! Parents with disrespectful rebels for kids do it all the time! God commands us to LOVE people, but He didn't say we had to LIKE them. (By the way, you'd be a 5) :wink: You’re welcome! (How convenient to be able to say two different things with one phrase.) Isn't it though? Which is why it’s best not to provoke them unnecessarily; I was hoping to save you some grief. Thanks for the thought. I appreciate it. I was expecting it to get ugly though and I expected a lot of people to be against what I believe. That's what Jesus said would happen, and I only hoped that sharing my faith might help even just one person out there reading all these posts and replies. If it did, honestly, ALL this would be worth it. Evangelizing can have that effect on some audiences. I know, believe me I do. But I wasn't evangelizing! I'm no Billy Graham (as you can tell), and I wasn't preaching! I wanted guidance and I wanted a 'support group' to help me go through some of those 'experiences' I spoke of. Honestly, my character and my integrity was attacked! If you want someone to really preach to you, with all the big words and scriptual refs and fire-and-brimstone language, let me know and I'll give you the address! It seems to work best when contributors are met without agendas. Okay... the third party language is what's confusing me. I wish you would just come out and tell me what you mean. Am I a contributor with an 'agenda'? What do you think is my 'agenda'? I'd really like to know some of your thoughts. Hmmm… I hope it gets still better. You are enriching our experiences. Even when we don't all understand each other perfectly; knowing in part, understanding in part... I hope it does to. As far as me enriching anyones experiences? I like to think that I might, but I don't! It's flattering you say that though! Yes, I would really like to understand you better. I would really like to understand your stand and your beliefs also. You have spoken much on mine, and I would really like to hear yours. Thanks for writing. You give me reason to examine my faith and what I believe. I think, in the long run, it will make me stronger and I can only thank you for that. God Bless you. In Jesus, Tiffany[/font:621a6e0a15]

Hey all, I don’t know quite how to start this, so I guess I'll just say what I feel. So many of these replies have been uplifting and inspiring to me. They help me to see that I am not alone, that there are many others that feel what I feel and know it also to be true. It feels wonderful knowing that I am not the only one who will be a Christian - no matter where they are, choosing not to hide their faith in a back pocket somewhere. I needed that and I thank you for that. Michael, I have read and re-read your post, trying to understand what exactly you're saying to me. I get that my answers to certain things were not strong enough. You have to understand though, I am not a theologian. I’m not educated in different religions and such. I am a growing Christian. I don't HAVE the answers to MANY questions and I don't have physical proof of what I believe. I haven't seen the archaeological findings that proved the ark's existence, I haven't seen the garment pieces of Jesus' robe or the nails that held Him to the cross. But I believe it, and I know it in my heart to be true. Love, many people know love. They can't see it, touch it, hold it... yet they know it is there. You might be able to see it IN things, but you can never actually see IT. Many feel the emotion and they know what it is, it's not disputed. How can the existence of the very being that CREATED love be disputed? You say it sounds irrational. I agree! I think someone willingly letting their only son die to save the whole world from eternal damnation in Hell is the MOST irrational thing I will ever hear. It's just not humanly possible! We don't have that love capacity, we couldn't sacrifice that much. But we're not talking about a human here. We're talking about God, the Creator of the universe and the Heavens - the very One who knew YOU and ME before we were born. And that is exactly what happened. It's the gift of a life-time. We didn't earn it - we couldn't earn it and we certainly don't deserve it, but it is offered to us freely. We can either accept it or reject it. There are some things you just can't prove. You speak of Christianity as if it were a kind of music. Jesus is not a genre!! He's not something that can work for some people and not for others. I personally like new country, some pop, and some Christian music. I can't stand Rap (Eminem) or hard-core Rock or the kind of music where you get your eardrums blown out by screaming and banging on guitars. Jesus can't be categorized like that. He said He came to save the whole world - not just the Jews, not just the blond haired/blue eyed. He did say you have to love him and accept Him though and that's where alot of people get iffy. You’re wrong, he IS a ‘one-size-fits-all’. He is ‘good’ for anyone who believes in Him. Michael, I believe that your thoughts and your feelings stem from experiences you've had and hard-times you've been through. I believe the same for EVERY PERSON on here and I don't judge you or anyone for it. I don't doubt your experience, I don't question it. Yet MY experience, probably due to my age, HAS been questioned. The thing is, you don't know what I’ve experienced. I have gone through many things that you guys just wouldn't believe. Since I choose not to air that for the whole world to read, it's disputed. I have the same struggles, the same temptations as every person does. I haven't been bubble wrapped and living in some fairy tale world where everything is rosy and happy. I've had A LOT of emotional, physical and familial pain and problems. I didn't have a 'normal' family with a ‘Grandpa’ and ‘Grandma’, aunts and uncles. I had knowledge of the kind of people they were and what they had done to hurt alot of people close to me. My close family has had alot of medical problems we've gone through, and thankfully made it through, together. The people who should love us have chosen to attack us. My reputation was marred by no act of myself and I couldn't find a job for a LONG time because of it. Right now I’m struggling to find a job where my age may play a major factor in my consideration now. I’m not perfect. I get angry and hurt and depressed sometimes too. Probably more than I should (just ask my mom ). But I’m trying to see the good in my situation. I’m trying to be optimistic and I’m trying to give my problems to God. That’s where this whole post originated from and I am as guilty as the next guy of trying to take control and handle things myself. I love people and I care deeply about people because that is what God commands us to do. It’s easy to love those who love you, it’s harder to love those against you or those who hurt you. I don’t know you all by name, and I don’t claim to know you and your needs, etc. but I love you and I care about you just the same. Thanks for the welcome. I hope you got a little better idea of where I’m coming from. If not, I can’t change it, it’s who I am. I’ll try to be more open, but would even an army chaplain stand in the midst of a raging battlefield with no cover? Like I said, I’ve had some really bad experiences with forums when I opened up to people, so I guess it’s a trust issue. People can be really cruel. That very forum was a ‘Christian’ forum. I thought is was a place I could go where the people would be friendly and want to encourage and uplift others. Instead, my very first post was torn apart, broken down and analyzed by a bunch of “Christians” who immediately questioned my intentions and faith. I couldn’t believe it. That’s why I have liked this forum so much. People from all walks of life and differing beliefs still come together and enjoy each other. I think that’s a great trait of this site still and I hope it continues. Thank you all for the not-so-bad experiences so far! Just the initial first posts and replies were enough to show the character of a majority of members here and I’m so thankful for that. God Bless you all. In Jesus, Tiffany Here ends MY sermon. [/font:3f6bc58031]