"Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year! ? Are you busy making
toys??
Your friend,
Thomas
Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I
spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by
drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while
losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.
Santa "
THis would be the most realistic and believeable response in these modern times