Happiness

Im thinking your idea of sane is completly different than ours And since the apple dosnt fall far from the tree and im not sane in your eyes well you do the math

Kind of sounds like someone you know did this. I would be looking at the name and see if there is anything that catches your eye. As for the suspention I guess you need to have all your ducks in a row and see if you can catch anything there. Maybe Admin can look at the ip address and try to track down were this person is from. Hope all the best to ya

Some are interesting some are just disturbing #2 I just thought that Phil could have a new career http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34712701/ns/technology_and_science-science/?pg=1#Science_weird_2010

If your pt is restrained and cant get out of them then step back and he will evenutally wear himself out. I would call ahead to the ER and ask for a dr to meet you with Valum or what ever before you take him out of the ambo as a squirmy pt can cause the cot to fall. If I even have a suspesition of a pt being violent (Im usually not in that position as they all know me and I have one nick name of Rocky) the RCMP are in the back with me no questions asked. This is a tough call sometimes but here goes "Always remember Saftey never takes a Holiday" hope this helps

here is another site with stories http://www.idea-league.org/our-stories

I found phil

Happy day to my favorite traitor

Bully for you I guess, I have a 20yr old strecher and the ambulance is older I think. As for rooh breath you better get thick skin because now your in the radar. I thought this was in funny stuff and this is where you have to have a sense of humor and if ya dont, dont read the stuff. Happy You might be in EMS if You find humor in other people's stupidity... You believe that 90% of people are a poor excuse for protoplasm... Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you... Your idea of fine dining is anywhere you can sit down to eat... You get an almost irresistible urge to stand and wolf your food even in the nicest restaurants... You plan your dinner break while lavaging an overdose patient... Your diet consists of food that has gone through more processing than most computers... You believe chocolate is a food group... You refer to vegetables and are not talking about a food group... You believe a good tape job will fix anything... You have the bladder capacity of five people... You can identify the positive teeth to tattoo ratio... Your idea of a good time is a full arrest at shift change... You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac... You firmly believe that if Dilantin, Haldol, Noranyl, and Narcan were put in the water instead of fluoride Dentists may be busier but EMS would grind to a halt... You disbelieve 90% of what you are told and 75% of what you see... You have your weekends off planned for a year in advance... You automatically assume the patient is a drug seeker when presented with a complaint of: (choose one ) migraine lower back pain chronic myalgia and a list of numerous allergies to meds (except Demerol) the statement that the family doctor is from out of town... Your idea of comforting a child includes placing them in a papoose restraint... You encourage an obnoxious patient to sign out AMA so you don't have to deal with them any longer... You believe that "shallow gene pool" should be a recognized diagnosis... You have discovered a new condition that you call "hypo-Xanax-emia"... You believe that the government should require a permit to reproduce... You debate which is worse, spaghetti and meatballs with red wine or pizza with beer, while performing gastric lavage... You believe that "Ask-a-Nurse" is an evil plot thought up by Satan... You believe that having an ambulance at a "Health Fair" was his next idea... You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if the phrase "Wow, it's really quiet" is uttered... You threaten to strangle anyone who even starts to say the "q" word when it is even remotely calm... You refer to Friday as Con-Home Dump Day... You are totally astounded when someone from a convalescent home is understandable... You take it as a compliment when someone calls you dirty name... You say to yourself "great veins" when looking at complete strangers ... You don't think a referral to Dr. Kevorkian is inappropriate... You have ever referred to someone's death as a "Celestial Transfer"... You have ever referred to someone's death as a transfer to the "Eternal Care Unit"... You have ever answered a "lost condom" call... You refer to someone in severe respiratory distress as a "smurf"... Your idea of a good time is dueling shock rooms... You have ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled "Suicide...Doing It Right"... You feel that most suicide attempts should be given a free subscription to "Guns and Ammo" magazine... You believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis... You have ever had a patient look you straight in the eye and say "I have no idea how that got stuck in there"... You have ever had to leave a patient's room before you begin to laugh uncontrollably... You have ever wanted to reply "yes" when someone calls the E.R. and asks "Is my (husband, wife, mother, brother, friend, etc.) there?"... You have ever issued a "dead head" alert... You have ever referred to the E.R. Doc , triage nurse, or partner as a "shit magnet"... Your favorite hallucinogen is exhaustion... You think that caffeine should be available in I.V. form... You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience... You have witnessed the charge nurse muttering down the hallway "Who's in charge of this mess anyway?"... You have ever used the phrase "health care reform" to instill fear into your coworkers' hearts... You believe the waiting room should be equipped with a Valium fountain... You play poker by betting ectopics on EKG strips... You believe a "Supreme Being consult" is your patients only hope... You want lab to order a "dumb shit profile"... You have been exposed to so many X-rays that you consider radiation a form of birth control... You believe your patient is demonically possessed... You believe that waiting room time should be proportional to length of time from symptom onset ("You've had the pain for three weeks...well have a seat in the waiting room and we'll get to you in three days")... Your most common assessment question is "what changed tonight to make it an emergency after 6 (hours, days, weeks, months, years)?"... You know the phone number to the local Detox Center by heart... You have ever had a patient say, "But I'm not pregnant, I can't be pregnant. How can I be having a baby?"... You have ever had a patient control his seizures when offered some food... You carry your own set of keys to the "leathers"... Your idea of gambling is an blood alcohol level pool instead of a football pool... Your bladder expands to the same size as a Winnebago's water tank... Your feet are slightly flatter and tougher than Fred Flintstone's... Your immune system is so well developed that it has been known to attack squirrels in the backyard... You have a special shrine in your home to the inventor of Haldol... Your idea of an X-ray prep is a second dose of Haldol... Your idea of a CT prep includes Norcuron and a vent... You have recurring nightmares about being knocked to the floor and run over by a portable X-ray machine... Your shoes have been seized and quarantined by either the Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta, OSHA, the EPA, or the Nuclear Regulatory Commission... You're able to tell the difference between a medical order and the ground around a poultry farm... You've been chipping away at your Bachelors Degree for longer than most people take for a Doctorate... Your idea of thawing the holiday turkey consists of an IV and warmed saline... (and if the holiday turkey you usually see has arms instead of wings and is sauced instead basted) You have every referred to subcutaneous emphysema as "Rice Krispies"... And finally: You might be an EMS professional if you find any of this funny! Thanks to Michael Seaver, RN, EMT, who created the vast bulk of this material.

Let it be know that I personally luv firemen, my favorite one is the one I own. I would also like to know where all the NYF were last month when my friend went there. She says she didnt see any so no pic for me

I would like to ask those of you who are into holistic medicine to help me out with my friend. She is in late stages of ovarian ca and is in alot of pain. She has refused so far any narcotic drugs and is trying to control the pain with 2 advil every 4 hrs. This has worked for her so far but it is starting to be non effective. Any suggestions. The other issue is nausia, this is what she is complaining about the most and it is interfering with any sleep she can get. She wont take ginger or pepermint (not sure why I dont ask). I appreciate anything you post for her to try. thank-you Happiness

sorry this is the link http://www.asylum.com/2009/12/15/the-100-weirdest-news-stories-we-dugg-in-2009-100-91/

My mother in law (who has now passed) had skin cancer many many years ago and recieved radiation as a treatment. Later in life she developed lukemia as a direct result of the radiation. She was asked by a family member if she was angry because of the this and her response was "No it gave me an extra 25 years in this world and I was able to meet my grandchildren" To me that just says it all.

Ok I have no life as you can tell from my previous post, but some of these are funny and remind me of some of the people in here lmao. Some are just pretty interesting. Well there is still lucky 13 days left in the year maybe some new stuff will appear on the net ps i cant believe the bed bug story didnt make it

I learn from the best

Now Im not a scientist but girls lets hope this stays in the bed bug population http://www.boingboing.net/2009/12/17/bug-powder-causes-ma.html

All I can say is WOW http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34419018/ns/health-health_care/

hee hee I didn't get past 1

I nominate EMTAnnie

Well at least I can say in BC our trasfer cars have paramedics in the back

I would get a note from the parents and have it in the childs file

Remember in your ABC's you may not get past A

all i want for christmas is my two front teeth

I had something really funny to say but I thought I might offend someone

Squint I dont think I want to talk to you today You totally missed my point on the Dr thingy. And your right my nose is out of joint.

Well been reading this thread on and off today and I have to say that I am a paramedic by all means of the word but I am not and advanced life support or critical care paramedic. Just like Drs they are specialized area's of paramedicine. If a Dr. is a ENT or a GP they are still doctors. As for the Hose Monkeys as this was the inital posting I think it is great that they do the training as they have help me so many times on calls. Just having the knowledge makes it easier to direct them to what I need help in and plus they save my back. My hubby said to me one day "How come we always get to the scene before you guys" and my answer is because your suppose to so that you get shot at first.