windsong

In Calgary here I saw one of our ambulance's go by one night couldn't figure why the lites inside were blinking off and on for. The driver just gave me a weird look and through up his hands like he didn't know either. I'd like to see one with christmas lights on it for next year. :wink:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_kZJJUc4mQ&hl=en

Did you do your research? because I posted that one on here last year. Just so you know that how is it possible for you to find it when there are over 2,359 posts and it's in there somewhere right? :wink: right!

I like #92 / #103 / #116 and #118.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udjslr20__0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4fyPTLYAqw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0rm4gWWN9o

You should watch the one guy faint, the medics escort him to his wife to be, wearing a non-rebreather. Also look for the one called Mall parking lot, two woman fighting with their cars, make sure you dont forget the bumper sticker on the newer car. :wink: I cant take anymore of those videos, they are to hilarious, even my cat wonders what I'm upto.

I have nothing to back this up except a Richardson Tx phone number, the gentleman that lived there had something we dont hear very often, he had ovaries and male gentalia. Now I dont know if he still lives there because I havent talked to him since 2005, his name was Adam Rhyr.

Here's something I dont want to rememeber but I will say this, my neighbor who lived a few doors down, her son had CF (Cystic Fibrosis) he was only 15 months old and I used to babysit him when she ran to the store. I remember hearing sirens then I saw the ambulance race down my street to her home, thinking the worst I ran out in my PJ's and bare feet, then I saw the medics race in, then the police came around the corner and stopped right where I stood and ran in. Apparenly Christopher got upset about something that it caused him to stop breathing, it reminds me of how my Uncle when he was 15 months old and wanted so badly to go with his dad (they lived on a farm then) but when his dad, my grandfather said no, Uncle Gervais had a temper tantrum, he choked and couldnt get his breath and he died right there. Apparently Christopher threw a temper tantrum and choked, he stopped breathing, so when the medics came, they tried to revive him, all their efforts couldnt bring him back. So when I went to the funeral, I couldnt hold back any longer I cried so hard to the point of throwing up, it was just really that hard to see him like that. In Memory of Christopher Michael Stanton, age 15 months.

In one episode of 'Cheers', Cliff is seated at the bar describing the 'Buffalo Theory' to his buddy Norm. I don't think I've ever heard the concept explained any better than this... "Well you see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate (Quoted by EMTigger) as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive drinking of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after you drink a few beers." ________________________________________________________________________________ ______________________

This is really cool http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NFjj_DQWCtU http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xqLuO_-Qzk

The average person only gets 7 correct. This is based on U.S. info, so use all lobes of your brain. This can be more difficult than it looks - it just shows how little most of us really see! There are 25 questions about things we see every day or have known about all our lives. How many can you get right? These little simple questions are harder than you think Put your thinking caps on. No cheating! No looking around! No getting out of your chair! No using anything on or in your desk or computer! Can you beat 23?? (The average is 7) Write down your answers as you go. Check answers (on the bottom), AFTER completing all the questions. REMEMBER - NO CHEATING!!! BE HONEST!!! That means no looking at your phone or anything on your desk... Then, before you pass this on to your friends, change the number on the subject line to show how many you got correct. Forward to your friends and also back to the one who sent it to you. LET'S JUST SEE HOW OBSERVANT YOU REALLY ARE. Here we go! 1. On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or bottom? 2. How many states are there in the USA ? (Don't laugh, some people don't know) 3. In which hand is the Statue of Liberty's torch? 4. What six colors are on the classic Campbell's soup label? 5. What two numbers on the telephone dial don't have letters by them? 6. When you walk does your left arm swing with your right or left leg? (Don't you dare get up to see!) 7. How many matches are in a standard pack? 8. On the United States flag is the top stripe red or white? 9. What is the lowest number on the FM dial? 10. Which way does water go down the drain, counter or clockwise? 11. Which way does a "no smoking" sign's slash run? 12. How many channels on a VHF TV dial? 13 On which side of a women's blouse are the buttons? 14. Which way do fans rotate? 15 How many sides does a stop sign have? 16. Do books have even-numbered pages on the right or left side? 17 How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel? 18. How many sides are there on a standard pencil? 19. Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Doc. Who's missing? 20. How many hot dog buns are in a standard package? 21 On which playing card is the card maker's trademark? 22 On which side of a Venetian blind is the cord that adjusts the opening between the slats? 23. There are 12 buttons on a touch tone phone. What 2 symbols bear no digits? 24. How many curves are there in the standard paper clip? 25. Does a merry-go-round turn counter or clockwise? ANSWERS 1. On a standard tra ffic light, is the green on the top or bottom? BOTTOM 2. How many states are there in the USA ? (Don't laugh, some people don't know) 50 3. In which hand is the Statue of Liberty 's torch? RIGHT 4. What six colors are on the classic Campbell 's soup label? BLUE, RED, WHITE, YELLOW, BLACK & GOLD 5. What two numbers on the telephone dial don't have letters by them? 1, 0 6. When you walk does your left arm swing with your right or left leg? RIGHT 7. How many matches are in a standard pack? 20 8. On the United States flag is the top stripe re! d or white? RED 9. What is the lowest number on the FM dial? 88 10. Which way does water go down the drain, counter or clockwise? CLOCKWISE (NORTH OF THE EQUATOR) 11. Which way does a "no smoking" sign's slash run? TOWARDS BOTTOM RIGHT 12. How many channels on a VHF TV dial? 12 (no #1) 13 On which side of a women's blouse are the butto ns? LEFT 14. Which way do fans rotate? CLOCKWISE AS YOU LOOK AT IT 15 How many sides does a stop sign have? 8 16. Do books have even-numbered pages on the right or left side? LEFT 17 How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel? 5 18. How many sides are there on a standard pencil? 6 19. Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Doc. Who's missing? BASHFUL 20. How many hot dog buns are in a standard packag e? 8 21 On which playing card is the card maker's trademark? ACE OF SPADES 22 On wh ich side of a Venetian blind is the cord that adjusts the opening between the slats? LEFT 23. There are 12 buttons on a touch tone phone. What 2 symbols bear no digits? * , # 24. How many curves are there in the standard paper clip? 3 25. Does a merry-go-round turn counter or clockwise? COUNTER Now send it to some of your friends and put your score in the subject box!!!

Hey buckeyedoc, I found this at another EMS site, so I guess whatever profession you come from, anything will do. :wink:

I see why people are NOT commenting,except for emtpsaveu911 did, because they can relate to this, cant they? and that's ok. :wink:

So in respect to those who are hurt and here illegally, it says your not to drive them because if you do, you're vehicle could be seized but, yet the person is seriously bleeding. Ok common sense says to call an ambulance, what if this person is working illegally ppl are going to get caught either way, so I see where they are coming from.

A crusty old Paramedic Supervisor found himself at a gala event, hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Paramedic for conversation. She said, "Excuse me, Mr Medic, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?" "Negative, ma'am," the Paramedic said, "Just serious by nature." The young lady looked at his years of service pin, the age lines on his face and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action." The Paramedic short reply was, "Yes, ma'am, a lot of action." The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself." The Paramedic supervisor just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?" The Paramedic looked at her and replied, "1955." She said, "Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955! Isn't that a little extreme?" The Paramedic, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice, "You think so? It's only 2130 now." YA GOT TO LOVE THAT MILITARY TIME !

Subject: Fwd: Canada is Warned Canada Is Warned This morning, from a cave somewhere in Pakistan, Taliban Minister of Immigration, Mohammed Omar, warned Canada, that if military action against Iraq continues, Taliban authorities will halt Canada's supply of convenience store managers. If this action doesn't yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next. It seems like it's really going to get ugly.

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-year-old girl, to hold a flashlight high over her Mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed, and after a little while Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-year old what she thought about what she had just witnessed. Kathleen quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place......... smack his ass again.

First-year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor began the Lecture by telling them: "In medicine, it is necessary to possess two important qualities as a doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body. " To illustrate, he pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the anus of the corpse, withdrew it, and stuck it in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes,but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it.When everyone finished, the professor looked at them and said, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention."

A Newfoundland woman "of a certain age", visited her physician to ask his help in reviving her husband's sex drive. "What about trying Viagra?", asks the doctor. "Not a chance," she said. "He won't even take an aspirin." "Not a problem," replied the doctor. "Drop it into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went." It wasn't a week later, that she rang up the doctor, who directly inquired as to progress. The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh faith, bejaysus and begorrah! 'Twas horrid. Just terrible, Doctor." Really? What happened?" asked the doctor. "Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee, didn't I? The effect was almost immediate. He jumped hisself straight up, with a twinkle in his eye, and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there, making wild, mad, passionate love to me on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you!" "Why so terrible?", asked the doctor. "Do you mean the sex was not good?" "No, no, no, Doctor. The sex was fine. Indeed, 'twas the best sex I've had in 25 years. But I'll never be able to show me face in Tim Horton's again!"

Dear Alcohol, First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in the holiday's hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences: 1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night? 2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big Italian meatball and some stale chips (washed down with WINE & topped off with a Kit Kat after a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries)? I'm an eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this time. 3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock. 4. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's debauchery may be in order, but the 3pm hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal & in no way interfere with my daily activities. Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets. In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above & address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Thursday 3pm (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions & hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership. Thank you, Your biggest fan P.S. THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Innovative 2. Preliminary 3. Proliferation 4. Cinnamon THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Specificity 2. British Constitution 3. Passive-aggressive disorder THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex. 2. Nope, no more beer for me. 3. Sorry, but you're not really my type. 4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight? 5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.

A friend of mine is a christian fanatic, she says things to a point she knows the Lord speaks to her, ok we are both catholic. So one day she phones me and says, Wendy I know the difference between the holy spirit's voice, but, I have this problem I'm hearing more than 1 voice and it's not the holy spirit's, so I said gee whose voice do you think it is and she said, I dont know, I thought maybe you might know. . . . . . . . DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM.