windsong

Let me remind you people out there, dont do something stupid like he did, yeah yeah you say you wont but, one of you will. hahahahahahahhahaha

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey" Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one." ------------------------------------------------------------------ Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The man said, "I do Father." The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall." Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?" Certainly, Father," was the man's reply. "Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest. Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven? O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father. The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?" O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now.” -------------------------------------------------------------------- Paddy was in New York. He was patiently waiting, and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, "Okay pedestrians". Then he'd allow the traffic to pass. He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk. After the cop had shouted "Pedestrians" for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, "Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?" -------------------------------------------------------------------- Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend Finney. “Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!" Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are ye callin' from?" -------------------------------------------------------------------- An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?" Just water," says the priest. The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?" The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!" --------------------------------------------------------------------- Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman." "Oh yeah?" said Charlie "And how did this one end?" "When it was over," Mike replied, "she came to me on her hands and knees.” "Really," said Charles, "now that's a switch! What did she say?" She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful. Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood. He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed. In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Mary staring at him from across the room. She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?" Flynn said, "Why you say such a mean thing? " ”Well," Mary said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly.....it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror!”

I like for a change to read a story about the fundementals of a ever changing career, the most advanced career on the face of this planet, paramedic. It is the most sought after career, very difficult one to attain, yet can be so rewarding. Your protocol calls for different measures, the policy and guidelines. Each state or province teaches differently, so I'm wondering why this is, all accidents, ppl bleed, code die the same, why is this so different? Again policies and guidelines must be adhere to. I believe being a Paramedic does not get the right gradification it so decidedly deserves, you are not a Ambulance driver, this is NOT what you studied for. For those of you out there, whether you were 6 or 9 in passing marks, so you're not the top marksman of your class, at least I can say, at least you passed and now can be known as a professional. You are actually 1 steps down from a doctor, even though you know the routine, you know the drug aspects, everything a doctor knows, so if that's the case, why then would you need to dispatch one to ask if the medication you want to administer to your pt be ok. It's like saying Yes your a medic, you have more knowledge than some guidelines require you to do and yet you still can diagnose and prescribe/give. I like what was said above, that we can obviously can discuss about certain protocals and work out scenarios without trying to verbally nialate each other for wrong practices.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. I rest my case :wink:

A man and his wife are awakened, at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud >pounding on the door. > >The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing >in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. > >"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3 o'clock in the morning! > >He slams the door and returns to bed. > >"Who was that?" asked his wife. > >"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers. > >"Did you help him?" she asks. > >"No, I did not, it is 3 o'clock in the morning and it is pouring out >there!" > >"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. > >"Can't you remember, about three months ago when we broke down, and >those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be >ashamed of yourself!" > >The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding >rain. > >He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?" > >"Yes" comes back the answer. > >"Do you still need a push?", calls out the husband. > >"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark. > >"Where are you?" asks the husband > >"Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk.

1. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings. 2. Nothing improves with age. 3. No matter how many times you’ve had it, if it’s offered take it, because it’ll never be quite the same again. 4. Sex has no calories. 5. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble. 6. There is no remedy for sex but more sex. 7. Sex appeal is 50% what you’ve got and 50% what people think you’ve got. 8. No sex with anyone in the same office. 9. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last. 10. A man in the house is worth two in the street. 11. If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow. 12. Virginity can be cured. 13. When a man’s wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him. 14. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself. 15. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can’t stand years later. 16. Sex is dirty only if it’s done right. 17. It is always the wrong time of month. 18. The best way to hold a man is in your arms. 19. When the lights are out, all women are beautiful. 20. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won’t either. 21. Sow your wild oats on Saturday night — Then on Sunday pray for crop failure. 22. The younger the better. 23. The game of love is never called off on account of darkness. 24. It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden. 25. Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly. 27. Before you find your handsome prince, you’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs. 28. There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it. 29. Love your neighbor, but don’t get caught. 30. Love is a hole in the heart. 31. If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon. 32. Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics. 33. Do it only with the best. 34. Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning. 35. One good turn gets most of the blankets. 36. You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women. 37. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. 38. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. 39. Thou shalt not commit adultery…..unless in the mood. 40. Never lie down with a woman who’s got more troubles than you. 41. Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song. 42. Never argue with a women when she’s tired — or rested. 43. A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn’t. 44. What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick. 45. It is better to be looked over than overlooked. 46. Never say no. 47. A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn’t love her. 48. Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps. 49. Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone. 50. Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog. 51. A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride. 52. Love comes in spurts. 53. The world does not revolve on an axis. 54. Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant. 55. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking. 56. Don’t do it if you can’t keep it up. 57. There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love. 58. Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight. 59. Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another. 60. “This won’t hurt, I promise,”

Teri apparently you didnt say you had to be fast, but I made head mortician. I am so tired, I need a vacation, vacation's just to get over that vacation . . .

That happened to me, when the medics came to my house, they said my sats were fine, but, when I got to the ED, the nurse there was pissed at the medics. Having asthma is nothing compared to someone with copd, because I guess they look and sound alot worse than I did. So I guess judging from this, why worry, it's really nothing, right?

I think it was coming from Washinton DC, the whitehouse ring a bell?

If you feel old, it's time to retire. Asysin2leads, you're not old dear because if you were, your sagging butt would still be sitting on the porch rocking back and forth, telling tales of when you once was a lad and how far in the snow drifts it took you to walk to school. As for you other poor dear souls, life is like a cherry bomb, in with the new, out with the old.

Birthdays come but once a year, with some excitement and some cheer, so if you feel like celebrating my dear, you can buy the beer, :drunken: so we can cheer, :cheers: Happy Birthday to you my friend and many more like these in years to come. Party hats :joker: :geek: :king: :flower: :brilsmurf: :queen: Drinking buddies :occasion5: Birthday buddies :occasion7: :occasion9: :occasion2: :occasion1: :occasion4:

What scares me is hot shot medic drivers out there who have less concern for the way they drive, being that I"m in Calgary and nearly was taken off the road because he cut me off, right he had lights only, I didnt see him coming in my rear view mirror because the last time I looked he wasnt there. I called EMS HQ and spoke to a supervisor and told them what happened, so he said he would file a report, gave him all the information. Apparently he tells me that it was a new EMT at the helm, just newly hired. Does this make us any less safer now that I know he"s newly hired, oh this just makes my day. Just because you have a job and it requires you to go fast with lights no siren, does it mean that you can run people off the road to because they dont adhere to your right of way. JUST REMEMBER I DIDNT SEE HIM IN MY REAR VIEW until the last moment when he was taking my front bumper with him.

I can only imagine what it's going to be like when I goto court if the guy I'm charging with his reckless undue care of driving. If he pleads guilty, I dont have to go, but if he pleads not guilty then I have to goto court. The officer told me they were also charging him with other related offences, WOW Well I hope strippel, everything works out for ya. :wink:

Imagine89, When I first posted, some ppl had a hard time to differentiate with my post, they didnt understand what it was I was trying to say, so your moot is uncomprehensable to say the least, it shows want, yet wanes because you make yourself look stupid, if you feel justifiable. 1. Explain, you lacked there of, means you show less character, considering the fact I now know what to expect from you and If it were my post, in the first begining I would of said: WITHOUT PREJUDICE, because it lets the persons know where I stand! 2. Understanding, you lacked there of, it is only what you want to see, yet you say we failed to understand your post, read #1 again. 3. Disoriented, you lacked there of, we are all human beings, I'm sure you do care, but again, must you be like the world, cruel and unjustifiable. Well of course your going to get attacked, what did you expect a pat on the back, someone telling you well done son? You are like a lemon, pretty on the outside, but very bitter on the inside. wtm

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING HERE, YOUR IN THE WRONG PROFESSION AND I DONT GIVE A FCUK IF THAT PISSES YOU OFF. I was skinny up until I was 12 yrs old and since then I have gained and lost on my yo yo diet. I have a new problem, it's called STARVATION, that's how I lose weight, because MY BRAIN wont let me do the things I used to do, in order to lose weight, eating 3 meals a day. The sight of food makes me ill, because of this problem I have. No matter what, I will constantly fight myself on it, AND OTHER TIMES I HAVE TO FORCE MYSELF TO EAT. I've binged before and got really sick, you dont think it's addiction, well buddy you have no fcuken clue do you, you think you have ALL the answers, you seem to know all about us, because you know what, dont preach unless you've walked a mile in my shoes, you dont speak for me or any of those poor souls out there. If you dont like it, or care, quit your job, that makes one less unprofessional tard to worry about.

YES I CAN HOG TIE YOU IN LESS THAN 15 SECONDS AND YES I AM BIG ENOUGH TO DO IT! CRACKHEADS NEED EMERGENCY SERVICES TOO. INCASE OF EMERGENCY BREAK DANCE. MY JOB IS SAVING YOUR ASS. MY BOYFRIEND PUTS OUT FIRES AND I LIGHT HIS. OUR DAY BEGINS WHEN YOURS IS ABOUT TO END. HI. I'M YOUR NURSE. WHAT STUPID FCUKING THING DID YOU DO? I'M A DOCTOR, NOT A MAGICIAN! ARE YOU A/OX3? AT EMS THE LOUDER YOU SCREAM THE FASTER WE COME. WAITRESS: THE PERSON PAID TO PUT UP WITH YOUR CRAP FOR LESS THAN MINIMUM WAGE IN THE VAIN HOPE THAT YOU WILL LEAVE A DECENT TIP. NURSE: THE HIGHLY - EDUCATED MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL PAID TO PUT UP WITH YOUR CRAP FOR A LITTLE MORE THSN MINIMUM WAGE IN THE VAIN HOPE THAT YOU WILL NOT SUE ONCE YOUR PROBLEM IS FIXED. LEVO AND NEO AND DOPAMINE! OH MY! I DRIVE A BANDAID BOX. NEXT TIME YOU CALL: 9-1-1 EMERGENCY / 4-1-1 INFORMATION REMEMBER THE DIFFERENCE! I'M A NURSE IN THE ER . . .THE ONE PLACE ON EARTH WHERE THE WRESTLING MATCHES ARENT CHOREOGRAPHED. EBN: EMERGENCY BACKUP NERD / INCASE OF EMERGENCY BREAK GLASSES. CLEVERLY DISGUISED AS AN EVANGELICAL CHRISTIAN.

Hey It's new to me It doesnt help if your midway through drinking and you end up wearing it. lol It scared the pissss out of me.

How do you feel about picking up people this large, what is in your mind at this moment. Have some of your crew ever made fun of them?

Are there instructions on how to do this?? I got 799

Maybe this should of been with the other topic review called: IDIOT PART DEUX, Dont you think?? lmao :wink:

Just what you said Bushy, and when I got to where Skitz said what he said the song Oh what a night played next. Have you really heard that song before?? Cricket is a cool game, I have this feeling Randy you dont get out much for sports, cuz your afraid you'll get a run in your pantyhose. As for Skitz, you must know randy personally?

Funny back then when I used to watch it I was 9 yrs old, my mother wouldnt let me watch it till I was at least 12, then she wouldnt let me watch it, because I had all the classic symptoms the people on there was having.

Ok it was at first you dont succeed try, try again. You're probably right about the EMT's vs Medic's, but I wanted to hear about some of the bumper stickers out there, if I could write my own, boy I would by now have hundreds to give away. I had knee surgery thursday and while I am trying hard not to be mean while some of YOU out there dont like the attitude of this thread, fine . . .BYTE ME! I am though taking this in stride, I want to see y'all play nice, respect me, I'll respect you. Yes I do know there was another thread started on this, but like I have In the Calgary sun paper I found this thing called POWER THOUGHT FOR THE DAY! Instead of reading horoscopes, I feel the thought speaks more volumes to me and here is what it said to me . . . Transform bad times to good. Difficulties mould our character so we can become BETTER rather than BITTER. (sharing ideas). "Blessed are they who persevere under trial, because when they have stood the test, they will recieve the crown of life." James1:12 www.powerthought.ca Did you ALL understand that?? ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________ Bumper Stickers My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her ...or something like that. Keep honking while I reload. If we are what we eat; I'm cheap, fast, and easy. Bad Cop! No Donut! Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. It's lonely at the top, but you eat better I love cats ... they taste just like chicken. I get enough exercise just pushing my luck Sorry, I don't date outside my species Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. Cover me. I'm changing lanes. Happiness is a belt-fed weapon. Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot. Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep. ... Montana - At least our cows are sane! The gene pool could use a little chlorine. I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT! It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you. When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS. Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips. Friends don't let Friends drive Naked. Wink, I'll do the rest! I took an IQ test and the results were negative. When there's a will, I want to be in it! Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check? If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat? Diarrhea is inherited. It runs in your jeans! Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students! My karma ran over my dogma. Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from! Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal! Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear. Give me ambiguity or give me something else. We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse. Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. He who laughs last thinks slowest. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes. Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy. Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. i souport publik edekasion. We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home. There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't. Why is "abbreviation" such a long word? Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock. 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2. I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles. I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast. There's too much blood in my alcohol system. (For Richard) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me. BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore. So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute! I need someone really bad... are you really bad? Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. To all you virgins, thanks for nothing. I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing. The more you complain, the longer God lets you live. My kid had sex with your honor student. Don't hit me. My lawyer's in jail. If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished. Help wanted: Telepathy ... you know where to apply. Hang up and drive. Guns don't kill people, postal workers do. Born again pagan. God must love stupid people, he made so many. I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen. Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips. Friends don't let Friends drive Naked. Wink, I'll do the rest! I took an IQ test and the results were negative. Ax me about Ebonics Body by Nautilus; brain by Mattel Boldly going nowhere CATS: The other white meat CAUTION - Driver legally blonde! Warning: I intentionally run over small, furry animals. Don't be sexist - broads hate that Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway Heart Attacks...God's Revenge for Eating His Animal Friends He's not dead, He's electroencephalographically challenged Honk if you've never seen an Uzi fired from a car window How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost. I am Homer of Borg. Prepare to be assimi... Oooh! Donuts! If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, riddle them with bullets If you lived in your car, you'd be home by now I'm an imbecile and I vote WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull CAUTION: I drive just like you! If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings." Practice Safe Sex. Go Screw Yourself. It's Been Lovely, But I Have To Scream Now. "Please Tell Your Pants It's Not Polite To Point." Don't Be Sexist - Broads Hate That. Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It! Constipated people don't give a crap. If you drink, don't park--accidents cause people. Who lit the fuse on your tampon? My kid got your honor roll student pregnant. To all you virgins: Thanks for nothing. If at first you don't succeed...blame someone else and seek counseling. If you can read this, I've lost my trailer. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me. The Earth Is Full - Go Home. I Have The Body Of A God......Buddha. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult. If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away? The Face Is Familiar, But I Can't Quite Remember My Name. I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere. If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong... Fight Crime: Shoot Back! Necrophillia: That uncontrollable urge to crack open a cold one. Boldly going nowhere Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship. 5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park. Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and drive. Be safe, Ridryder 911 ________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________ There were others along the line of this thread but felt Ridryder had some cute ones and alot of time on his hands, well why not it's CHRISTMAS. :santa: Thanks Rid

Could this site also be a part of the question at hand, because so many are at work, I'm not surprised would have lost it on here (cam-mic). :wink:

Bushy imagine "cracker." think of it as your mental form, :scratch: