windsong

CALIFORNIA: - I can wear sandals all year long - I go to the Beach - not "down to the shore" -Our chicks are WAYYYY hotter than yours. Well...Miami can hang. - I say "like" and "for sure" and "right on" and "dude" and "totally" and "peace out" and "chill" and "tight" and "bro" and I say them often - I know what real cheese & avocados taste like -Everyone smokes weed and its no big deal -We'll roll up 40 deep when something goes down. -I live next door to Mexicans, but we call them American's! -All the porn you watch is made here, cause we're better and thats how it is - I don't get snowdays off because theres only snow in Mammoth, Tahoe, Shasta, and Big Bear - I know 65 mph really means 100 - When someone cuts me off, they get the horn and the finger and high speed chase cuz we dont **** around on the road - The drinking age is 21 but everyone starts at 14 (legally 18 if you live close enough to the border) - My governor can kick your governors *** - I can go out at midnight -You judge people based on what area code they live in, and when asked where you're from, you give your area code - I might get looked at funny by locals when I'm on vacation in their state, but when they find out I'm from California I turn into a Greek GOD - We don't stop at stop signs... we do a "california roll" No cop no stop baby! - I can get fresh and REAL Mexican food 24 hours a day - All the TV shows you "other" states watch get filmed here - We're the Golden State. Not the Cheese State. Not the Garden State.....GOLDEN!!! - We have In-N-Out (Arizona and Vegas are lucky we share that with them) - I have the most representation in the House of Representatives, which means MY opinion means more than yours, which means I'm better than you [geez.... hahaha] - The best athletes come from here *******IF YOU'RE FROM CALIFORNIA, REPOST THIS******* ******IF YOU'RE NOT, GO SIT IN A CORNER AND CRY****** ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________ TEXAS: Ahem... So.. Um.. yeah... I read this, and thought I would reply... Hey... California listen up... Texas is where its at! - I too can wear sandals all year long... plus I can put on boots to stomp your toes and I won't even stick out. - You may be able to go to the "beach" instead of the "shore"... but can you go to the drive thru "Beer Barn?" What now surfer boy? - You're chicks aren't way hotter than ours... they are almost equal... and thats only due to silicone, saline, botox, lasers and hair dye... We have the real ones and they can beat yours up. - We're taught to say "Yes Sir" and "Yes Ma'am" and respect our elders because of it. We also say "Howdy" and "fixin" and "Yall" are pretty much recognized right away anywhere in the world We're famous - You may know what real cheese and avocados taste like... but I know what 100% Grade A Angus Beef tastes like. Who wants avocados and cheese when you can have steak and potatoes? - Haha... who do you think grows the weed and sells it to you? - Why roll 40 deep when something goes down if 5 corn fed country boys can get the job done... - I live next door to americans, but we call them mexicans - About your Porn.... 3 words... "Debbie Does Dallas"... You can brag about it now, but we started it (imitation is the sincerest form of flattery... yall know you love us) - Why would you brag about not getting snow days off? - We're smart enought to know 65mph means 65, but our speed limit is 70. - - When someone cuts me off, they get run over by my big *** truck, then I give them the finger and tell them to go back to california. The drinking age is 21, but if you aren't chasin the beer by 5 ... you're behind. We'd drink you under the table. B!tches. - Yeah, Well my governor became the President of the United States... yours isn't even eligible. - You can go out at midnight? Thats nice, We just tapped the third keg. - Ok so "You judge people based on what area code they live in, and when asked where you're from, you give your area code" Well you have to define yourself by your city, well we just say Texas, I mean how much better could it get? - Yeah, you'll definitely get looked funny when you come to visit but we have another name for you pretty boys, and its not greek, its french. - Of course you don't stop at stop signs... none of you can drive. - You can pick up Real mexican food 24 hours a day huh... well I can swing by home depot and pick up 24 Real mexicans anytime of day. Can you say catering? - All the tv shows get filmed there... but where does your favorite poker game from? Texas Hold'em anyone? - You can keep your golden state... We're the Lone Star State... - Do I have to remind you about the drive thru Beer Barn again? Does In-N-Out serve alcohol? (Oh and did I mention Dr. Pepper was created in Texas?) - You guys have the best athletes huh?... Two words... Lance Armstrong On Top Of ALL Of That... I could mention MICHAEL JOHNSON - Olympic Sprinter, World record holder in 200m and 400m, 5 Olympic Gold metals, 9 time World Champion (born Dallas, Tx) Oh and remind me again who won the Rose Bowl between USC and Texas????? I believe it was the LONGHORNS!!!!!! #1 - Football is a religion, not a sport - In Texas, football means football, not soccer. - 90% of football "movies" you guys are making are about Texas Football. - Texas is the only state that can still separate to become its own country. The only way California's gonna accomplish that is if another earthquake comes along and you guys sink into the ocean. Can you say Atlantis.... hahaha -Texas is the only state in the country that can fly its flag as high as the AMERICAN FLAG!! Come on Texans Show Your Colors! Repost! And as the Great Sam Houston once said "Texas could survive without the United States, but the United States could not survive without TEXAS!"

Dear Friends: We're proud to announce the publication of our new book, "The Dog Dialed 911." Divided into 11 chapters (such as "Bill Reilly" and "Adult Entertainment"), it's a book of lists that, dare we say, is funny, irreverent, and incisive. Covering topics ranging from Paris Hilton and al Qaeda to Dick Cheney and funny mug shots, "The Dog Dialed 911" can be yours for less than 11 bucks at Amazon. For more about the new TSG book, head here: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/thedogdialed911/index.html How bad a case of the munchies must you have to break into a Domino's Pizza at 5 AM to bake up a batch of brownies? Pretty bad, it seems. Story here: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0926061brownies1.html Hewlett-Packard's desperate hunt to track down the source of leaks to the media is a marvelous example of corporate paranoia run amok. The computer giant gumshoe efforts are memorialized in a confidential memo that reads like a script for CSI: Palo Alto. Details here: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0929061hp1.html While we dont follow the Far East music scene too closely, when the mother of the Japanese Britney Spears has a run-in with the Drug Enforcement Administration, we take notice: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0927062hikaru1.html New prize contest starts today, so enter now for a shot at some swell loot. Right this way, please: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/contest/contest.html Regards, Your pals at TSG

There was a burglar who broke into a home and started to gather the items he wanted to take. All of a sudden he heard, "Jesus is watching you!" He didnt see anything in the dark house, so he went on with what he was doing. He heard, "Jesus is watching you!" again and then he really wondered who was saying that. He turned on the flashlight, scanned the room, and finally saw a parrot. "Did you say that?" asked the burglar. "Yes," replied the parrot. By the way, what's your name?" the burglar inquired. "Moses," answered the parrot. "That's a strange name for a parrot. Who named you that?" "The same people who named their rotweiller Jesus!" ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________ FIG LEAF FOUND A little boy opened the large family bible, and he looked with fascination at the ancient pages as he turned them one by one. He was still in Genesis when something fell out of the bible. He picked it up and looked at it closely. It was a very large old tree leaf that had been pressed between the pages of the bible long ago. "Momma, look what I found!" the boy called out. "What do you have there?" his mother asked. With astonishment in his voice, the young boy answered, "It's part of Adam's suit!"

Kids as young as 8 were huffing gasoline up in the Northwest Territories. Here in Calgary, a good can of hairspray, they turn it over and puncture it and mix it with something, cheers! You walk downtown where they all hang and you would see hairspray canisters all over. Friday at Safeway the Natives were scouring the garbage for returnable cans, bottles they take it in, get money and off they go to buy their whatever's?

Gee this sounds familar, we wont go there either. :roll:

Whoa someone with to much time on their hands. But hey you have seen nothing yet. School for Scoundrels Morning show blooper of a famous actor http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNNyMgnfmsE 70's show bloopers Halo wars - nice doggy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMZmTKjGPYw For those of you who might and I say this lightly might wet their pants.

1. Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public. 2. Dogs miss you when you're gone. 3. Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong. 4. Dogs dont brag about whom they slept with. 5. Dogs dont criticise your friends. 6. Dogs admit when they are jealous. 7. Dogs dont feel threatened by your intelligence. 8. Dogs understand what NO means. 9. You can house train a Dog. 10. Middle - aged Dogs dont feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner. 11. Dogs dont mind if you do all the driving. 12. Dogs dont step on the imaginary brake. 13. Dogs admit it when their lost. 14. Dogs cant feel threatened if you earn more than they do. 15. Dogs mean it when they kiss you. ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________ MEN PLEASE READ RULES BEFORE PROCEEDING: 1. Please dont talk to my breasts, you wont be meeting them anytime soon. 2. If you want to control someone sleep with your remote. 3. I always choose chocolates over men - always. 4. 51% Love Goddess 49% Bitch 5. My sexual preference is NO. 6. My body is a temple, now get on your knees and pray. 7. It's not the size that counts . . . .No, wait, size does count. 8. Remember you Horny piece of dirt Girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. 9. Men are like Hardwood floors, lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them forever. 10. Save your breath for your inflatable doll. psst Hey Ak I still have your doll for you.

You think you can do better??? I dare ya!!!

Millions of years ago, earth was visited by aliens, and what was their reason for visiting earth? Oh look another travel destination.

Changing Seasons How I wish the stars to glitter like silver, The sun to shine like gold. The clouds so vastly white like cotton, The days are growing cold. The leaves are changing, the time has drawin near. Summer time is almost over, and fall is nearly here. Its hard to say Goodbye... When we thought it would last forever, that time was not meant to be,but time for the moment can be a memory for me. The leaves so green will turn to yellow gold, the reds of autum past will stay till the last. The frost of winter when the leaves will fall, signals the end to it all. ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________ Now why bother Blogging, when we need a Poem page, not something that was done before in a previous search (EMS poems) something added new. What other talent do you ppl have besides shootin the breeze, pokin the stick, dropping maibombs, picking up women on here etc. . . .

:-k good question

I think when you read a thread like that one, stop, sit on the floor and perform the mantra,breathe slowly in and out, then get up slowly and proceed to read. If you feel an overwhelmingly anxiety to throw a temper tantrum like good ole vs here, get up and proceed to wall and bang head several times. After banging head, you feel the need to scream and pound fists, head back to wall and go at it again, providing your not in a apartment and your neighbors dont complain. By now your venting will be at peace, you'll have one hell of a headache, thats ok your a professional, you have drugs to cure it. Cheers mate, happy reading from now on.

and going crazy

I hate driving down the road and there laying in the middle, blood everywhere, one dead rabbit who apparently didnt cross the road safely.

not the day

http://www.break.com/movies/raver_face_plant.html http://www.break.com/movies/kid_on_bike_gets_hit_by_car.html http://www.break.com/movies/drunk_dude_bus...s_arrested.html http://www.break.com/movies/bone_crushing_bike_crash.html http://www.break.com/movies/ben_affleck_ge...nterviewer.html --Oolala ________________________________________________________________________________ __ STEVER IRWIN TRIBUTES: http://www.break.com/index/steve_irwin_tribute.html

for three days

Hey When I got stung by a wasp on my arm (as a kid), some woman used her deodorant on it to lessen the pain. I guess there's ammonia in it, isnt there?

crusted creamy egg white (chickenpox) Jade-mucous Dark brown bile Black-decaying matter

Inside a room there are all these ppl, standing in a corner, rocking back and forth or staring out the window. Three of them huddle together, discussing how they were going to escape, the first one says, he's going to hide in the dirty laundry when the truck comes to take it away, thats how he will get out of here. The second one says I'm going to steal someone's coat the next time they come to visit, surely they will not recognize me and I'll be free. The third one says, their all good ideas but mine is even better and it's been proven to work, oh said the other 2, you think? Yup came the reply, I'll pretend I'm normal. Whats normal, like my sign under my name says: I'm not crazy, my reality is just different than yours.

Will there be an ending, let me know and I will give you the name of the publishing company I deal with. I can see it now Emtcity leads the way in its first published 3 worded story, submitted by members of the site. Sitting at no#1 for 12 weeks, Most popular book ever bought, see what other people bought besides this one. LOL

I highly regard you in the job you do, because you help these poor ppl, when they are hurting, in pain, when they are sad or comitted suicide. It is not easy when you deal with children, so fragile, but with your skills, and dilligent efforts you did your best. You're only human. I highly regard you because you care, some ppl are in it because the chicks dig this, it makes them look good. You on the other hand, are smart, highly intelligent, out going, quiet and sweet. Not everyone can do what it is your doing, even though they will try, yet fail. There are many like you and if people dont realize this, something is terribly wrong here. (-Effects on EMS in general Quite frankly, I think they make us look like idiots, and are part of the reason that EMS is so lowly paid and regarded. I'm sure they have their good point too. Lets hear 'em). Asin2leads said that. I think that it should be made known that if it werent for people like you, we'd all be dead. Thank you for everything

Whats would Keenve from the movie "Speed" would say, you've got an Ak47 pointed at you, they tell you to leave the pt alone, whatcha gonna do?, the telling part is added new. So you've got some person pointing a gun at you, telling you to let the person die, are you just going to stand there OR are you going to save their life?

graduated licensing is not only for teens, it's for every new driver out there, but thank god I made it before that became the norm for me. I got mine in 2001 because of my father's failing health, he could no longer drive and my mother quit driving because the city's traffic was becoming to excessive. I took the class and passed, so I got my Insurance at a reduced rate, and if I have an accident and should hurt someone, I also have a 1 million dollar accident coverage. I'm curious how much accident insurance is on the ambulance you drive? incase you hit someone?