Richard B the EMT

When you check the Yellow Pages for a uniform, seeing you're mostly finding scrubs, try stores that sell Police uniforms. I cannot recommend any stores for you, as you're west coast, and I am east coast.

Is something going on? In less than a week, a plane crash in New Jersey, California, and one in Texas?

In 1996, NYC got hit by what might have been the worst blizzard after the famous one of 1888. Our contingency plan was National Guard owned and driven Humvees, with NYC Health and Hospital Corporation EMS EMTs or Paramedics aboard, backing the regular type 1 ambulances we run. However, when you have the chassis of a vehicle resting on the sand or snow, the wheels cannot gain traction, and will be stuck, as happened to a great number of those Humvees.

A Paramedic instructor friend of mine told me the first ambulance only got to the patient after 30 hours, and 10 calls to 9-1-1. Suffice to say, the facts are still coming in, and one way or another, this one is going to be a lawsuit. I cannot say which way it is going to go. I will comment that in the early 1960s, my neighbor across the street was having an AMI, and the ambulance crew humped in the equipment from 3 blocks away (closest they could get with the truck). They actually borrowed my sled to bring him back to the truck! (I never saw the sled again, but at that point, I had probably outgrown using it, anyway.) Perhaps ambulances that operate in areas that either routinely get deep snowfalls, or know they're gonna get slammed by the occasional storm, should add a "Sked" type sled or toboggan for assisting in that kind of movement of a patient to the ambulance. That, or have some kind of contingency plan for snowmobiles and associated patient transport devices towed by them. Then, again, all I am doing is Monday and Armchair Quarterbacking here.

I'm going to send the original article to a Facebook EMS site asking much the same. Thanks.

The federal law on radio receivers, dating back to the 1930s stated to the effect that, as long as whatever you heard on the air (outside of AM/FM/Midwave Radio signals, which are usually "commercial radio") wasn't directly quoted, or used for your monitary gain. I could say, "I heard Charlie on a call yesterday", but not say ..."at 4:35, for the cardiac arrest at Mrs. Dillers house at fifth and main." Then, there is the "Electronics Privacy Act of 1985". This was, and is, a bogus act on the part of the Cell Phone Industry, to "insure privacy" for their clients. While originally formulated as laws against computer hackers, which I can agree with, the CellPhone Industry decided to go another step. Someone mentioned the "scannists" crying when some services went to the 800 MHz frequencies, and/or "Trunked" services? Cell Phones operate within these same bands. You can't listen, even where legal to do so, to FD or PD signals on the 800 to 900 MHz bands, because you might pick up my nephew Daniel telling his grandma "Momma B" that he'll be at the house in a half hour to take her to see a movie. Scanners then were made to prevent the cell phone specific frequencies from being intercepted by me and the other Scannists, but they had a wire inside, that if cut, would allow the radio to pick up the "forbidden" signals, just at the possible voiding of any service repair warranties on the radios for a "non authorized personnel" "tampering" with the radio. Nowadays, the designs won't allow that to happen, but as I happen to have equipment that was Grandfathered in, prior to the laws being enacted, I can listen if I choose to. 2 things I have to mention. First, Scannists and other radio enthusiasts were already listening in to the affected frequencies before, with the stroke of a legislative pen, we were ordered not to. The second is, why didn't the cell phone industry offer voice and data "scrambler/unscrambler" devices to their customers, and get paid for the devices, or the rental of them? They had been in existance for years before the advent of the Cell Phones, indeed, if you wanted to have a "private" conversation, they were available for hardwired land line systems. All it took was a bit of techno-talk to bedazzle and confuse the Congessmen and Senators, because (hopefully) they are better lawmakers and politicians than than they are electronic engineers. The late Arizona Senator, and presidential candidate, Barry Goldwater, a licenced HAM radio operator, much as I didn't like him politically, would never had let the laws be passed, due to his understanding of communications radios. (I previously mentioned me being published in "Popular Communications"? Most of what I had was ranting on the Communications Act of 1985, and in greater detail than I took here.)

Well, there is that alarm on the glass wall mount box, that sounds off when the box is opened...

For those not from NYC, that's the Jackie Robinson/Interboro Parkway, Grand Central Parkway, Cross Island Parkway, Long Island Expressway (allegedly the world's longest and narrowest parking lot). Never worked the areas, but have spoken with those who have on a regular basis. I also hear about the northbound Van Wyck Expressway at Jewel Avenue, in rain or snow, usually featuring overturned vehicles. ...and that is only the highways/expressways/parkways within the Queens county areas of NYC. It's a string to itself for the Bronx, Brooklyn, Staten Island, and Manhattan...EACH!

Continuing on the comment by 4c6, I might be in another state, credentials not accepted, but I don't think anyone would object if, when needed, I were the one opening the wall storage box, and applying the pads to a needing person, especially if nobody else knows how. Find out if the agency has training programs available for "civilian" usage of the AEDs, and if you have the contacts, help arrange for it for anyone who wants it.

I am glad you put that in as a generalization. FDNY EMS Command EMD call takers and dispatchers are all EMTs, and some Paramedics, and some are on "light duty", as you stated. However, prior to the FDNY/EMS merger, I was assigned to EMS Communications Bureau, the EMD's predecessor, as one of 25 from the 52 who survived my EMS Academy. Yes, we were fresh from the academy, and put into Communications. At least 4 of them remain in EMD, almost 25 years later (one requested EMD, he's happily dispatching for almost all that time). In some areas, as shown by all the frequencies I mentioned in a previous posting on this string, the different agencies operate on widely different frequencies. There actually was a time that the municipal EMS had scanners mounted in the ambulances, so they'd have a clue what the NYPD and/or FDNY were doing, and could start heading in the direction of action, prior to actually being assigned. Someone in the hierarchy later decided against it, and the next generation of new ambulances didn't have scanners mounted in them, and older ones had them removed. I just remembered an old string, concerning scanners and radios, which some of us might recall. Heck, I posted enough on that string, too! http://www.emtcity.com/index.php/topic/1547-dumbest-thing-ever-heard-on-the-radioscanner/page__hl__scanner

From experience, all I can say is, the 30 minute highway flare, at least in NYC, has a life expectancy of 7.2 minutes, before someone runs it over, either by design or in error (usually by design, unfortunately).

Hey chbare, you double posted! Oops on you (an admitted rarity). SOCMOB, for the record, I am a Registered Monitoring Station/Short Wave Listener (SWL), "callsign" KNY2SC. Anyone asks why I listen to a scanner, it is a multitude of reasons, with me being a "nosy bastit" leading the reasons. I listen while driving, so if the roadway I am on is blocked by an incident, I can reroute before getting caught in the traffic jam. I'll hear it there, before hearing the news station's traffic report. As I carry some basic equipmentin my POV, if I end up on the scene prior to the on duty troops, I can start rendering aid (see multiple strings on the pro's and con's of this practice, but I started as a Volunteer EMT). I might listen to other agencies, just to keep myself aware what they are doing, even if I know I won't be called to their scene to assist. Are you aware that the NYPD has over 100 frequencies, and these are just the ones listed? FDNY EMS Command has at least 2, and in some cases, 3, frequencies per each of our 5 boroughs, plus "Citywide", and some non emergent, frequencies. Add another 6, possibly more, for the FDNY engine and truck companies. New York City is at the juncture of New York State, New Jersey, and Connecticut. There's a bunch of PD, FD, and EMS crews always on the air, for those who choose to listen in. Not only that, we have John F. Kennedy, LaGuardia, and Newark-Liberty International Airports, either within the city, or close by. Add Maritime radio, the FBI, US Coast Guard, Secret Service, and the occasional (non-photo op) flyby of Air Force One. Add CB radio (there's still a few of us left), Family Radio Service/General Mobile Radio Service, Multiple Use Radio Service, and soon, I have almost filled my 1,000 channel scanners. I'll mention, as we in the "tri-state" area are bracing for the third heavy snowfall in 10 days, that I sometimes listen to the sanitation crews, as they activate the "Snow Desk", keeping track of the trucks plowing and removing the snow on our 300 something miles of street. Oops, after that last, I must mention the US Weather Service, too. I have to mention, check your local, county, and state laws on the subject of having a scanner in a vehicle. Here in New York State, unless you're an On-Duty LEO, or have a "permit" from the local LEOs Commissioner, you're not supposed to have a scanner in a vehicle, even a portable unit sitting on the seat, unpowered by the vehicle. Now, I'll toot my own horn: I have been published numerous times in the "Popular Communications" magazine's "Letters to the Editor" section, as well as one time in "National communications" (and you thought I only have appeared in JEMS, EMS Magazine, Queens Newsday, Popular Science, "Dear Abby", "Dear Anne Landers", and some on line board called "EMT City"?).

We was all newbies and newjacks once! Welcome aboard!

Hmm? I just mentioned the death in June of 1994 of Christopher Prescott in a string on the California Surfing Contest, where numerous spectators were swept out by rouge waves. The story has parallels to EMT Prescott. http://www.nytimes.com/1994/06/18/nyregion/ems-aide-killed-by-car-at-accident.html?pagewanted=1 E.M.S. Aide Killed by Car At Accident By RONALD SULLIVAN Published: June 18, 1994 A 22-year-old ambulance crew member helping victims of a car accident in Brooklyn was killed early yesterday morning when a Jeep driven by a drunken driver plowed through a series of warning flares and crashed into the accident scene, the police said. The police said the driver had been convicted of drunken driving in 1992, and had been charged with the crime once after that, but was still driving with a valid license at the time of the accident. Victim Was Rookie of the Year The victim, 24-year-old Christopher Prescott, who was named Rookie of the Year by the city's Emergency Medical Service earlier this year, was the city's first ambulance crew member to be killed in the line of duty, medical service officials said. Mr. Prescott's death shocked the city's corps of 2,800 Emergency Medical Service technicians and paramedics, who are often the first to respond to the scenes of violent accidents and death, but are rarely victims themselves. Mr. Prescott was killed when a Jeep driven by Keith Church-Ford, 27, sped into the intersection of Eastern Parkway and Utica Avenue at 1:36 A.M. yesterday and smashed into one of two cars involved in an earlier accident. The force of the collision drove the car in the earlier accident into Mr. Prescott's ambulance, crushing him and a fellow crew member, Carol Buffa, 35, as they were trying to remove a victim in the first accident. Mr. Prescott was pronounced dead less than three hours later at Kings County Hospital Center. Ms. Buffa underwent surgery there and was in critical condition, although officials said her condition was improving. Injured Again The victim in the first accident, whose initial injuries were described as not serious, was also crushed and was taken to Brookdale Hospital Medical Center, where he was in critical condition. The medical service said three other people suffered slight injuries. "We're devastated," said David L. Diggs, the Emergency Medical Service director. "And we're angry, too, because this young man's senseless death would never have happened if we could get these kinds of drivers off the road." The officials said Mr. Prescott would be given the equivalent of a police inspector's funeral on Monday, the first in the service's 24-year history. For the funeral, to take place on Staten Island, his body will be carried in an ambulance shrouded in black and will be followed by corps of medical service crew members, police officers and firefighters. David Bookstaver, a spokesman, said of Mr. Prescott: "He had an outstanding record, one which included a citation for bringing an emergency patient back to life. He was full of youthful enthusiasm and he saw his career here as saving lives. We all are in mourning." Mr. Prescott, a tall, friendly man from a close-knit Staten Island family filled with police officers, had hoped to join the Transit Police this year after serving a year or so as an ambulance crew member. His sister, Police Officer Doreen Prescott-McGee, described her brother yesterday as a "wonderful, happy go lucky kid, someone who put a bright light around everone's head." Mr. Church-Ford, who the police said was convicted of drunken driving in 1992, was arrested by police officers who were already at the accident scene. They said he was found to have a blood-alcohol level of 1.8 percent, nearly twice the legal limit. He was charged with murder, assault and driving while intoxicated, and was processed for booking last night for a bail hearing in Criminal Court. George Filieau, a spokesman for the State Division of Motor Vehicles, said Mr. Church-Ford's license was revoked in November 1992, after he was convicted of drunken driving a month earlier. But he said Mr. Church-Ford received a restricted, conditional license a month later and that his license was fully restored in March 1993, after he completed a remedial program. The police said he was later charged with driving while intoxicated and several other moving violations, like running red lights and passing on the wrong side. But they said they had no information as to the outcome of those cases, or details on when they occurred. On the stoop of her home at 500 Warren Street in Boerum Hill, Brooklyn, Mr. Church-Ford's mother said: "It's a tragedy for both our families. My son is a good kid." Mr. Church-Ford is the third person in the city in the last six weeks to be charged with a drunken driving fatality. On May 1, a woman and her two daughters were killed in Howard Beach, Queens, while crossing the street, and on June 11 a homeless woman in Queens was killed after pushing her 4-year-old son to safety. The police said that the drivers in both cases had been drunk.

Lisa O said The bumper sticker and T-Shirt saying is so true: Hurricane Gloria was sweeping along the New York coastline, when Peninsula VAC, my outfit, got a call of someone drowning at one of the Rockaway beaches. We rushed over, and found a municipal BLS and an ALS ambulance, 2 engine companies, 2 ladder truck companies, numerous NYPD units, and supervisors from both the NYPD and FDNY calling over the air to cancel their respective Rescue units. It turned out that 2 lifeguards (!) had taken their surfboards in to do some "storm surfing" in what I remember being at least 12 foot waves. These same lifeguards would have ordered anyone else out of the water when the surf would go to 7 feet. In June of 1994, the day before the funeral of Christopher Prescott, the first Line of Duty Death in the history of the NYC Health and Hospitals Corporation EMS, a storm hit the beach in Rockaway. Several people on the beach at Beach 149 Street were struck by lightning. With at least 6 ambulances on the scene, crews doing CPR, crews assisting each other, and being assisted by off duty personnel like myself, one guy tried walking past me and back onto the beach. I challenged him, asking where the hell he thought he was going, to which he responded, "going to grab my beach chairs and umbrella". "You're what?!? Metal chairs conduct electricity, and we already have a bunch of people hit by lightning, and you're going out onto the beach where you're going to be the highest point? You try, I'll have you arrested for attempted suicide!" He took another step, but stopped, as a lightning bolt hit the sand about 100 feet from us, momentarily deafening us with the thunder. As he ran back along the street towards the houses, he did, at least, say, "on second thought..."

Are these FFP1, 2 and 3 masks of a disposable type, like the N95s that I would use in my employ at the FDNY EMS Command?

There is a good reason why NASA stopped us going to the moon. They were afraid of importing an insect infestation, and have kept the fact under heavy security. That is why you usually never hear of the Lunar Ticks (lunatics). This is not just Lone Star and me. All are invited to add some puns (so I can tell my non-EMT City friends and claim the credit...and the groans!)

How did I get to the US Naval Academy? I removed an apple from the bowl, making it an apple less (Annapolis). Don't worry about going hungry in the Sahara, due to all the sand which is (sandwiches) there. Also, it is a dessert. Just make sure you wear a watch in the Mojave for water, because the watch has a spring. And Now, the longest running Pun in North American History...courtesy of Bud Abbot and Lew Costello, Who's On First? Abbott: Well Costello, I'm going to New York with you. You know Bucky Harris, the Yankee's manager, gave me a job as coach for as long as you're on the team. Costello: Look Abbott, if you're the coach, you must know all the players. Abbott: I certainly do. Costello: Well you know I've never met the guys. So you'll have to tell me their names, and then I'll know who's playing on the team. Abbott: Oh, I'll tell you their names, but you know it seems to me they give these ball players now-a-days very peculiar names. Costello: You mean funny names? Abbott: Strange names, pet names...like Dizzy Dean... Costello: His brother Daffy. Abbott: Daffy Dean... Costello: And their French cousin. Abbott: French? Costello: Goofè. Abbott: Goofè Dean. Well, let's see, we have on the bags, Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third... Costello: That's what I want to find out. Abbott: I say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third. Costello: Are you the manager? Abbott: Yes. Costello: You gonna be the coach too? Abbott: Yes. Costello: And you don't know the fellows' names? Abbott: Well I should. Costello: Well then who's on first? Abbott: Yes. Costello: I mean the fellow's name. Abbott: Who. Costello: The guy on first. Abbott: Who. Costello: The first baseman. Abbott: Who. Costello: The guy playing... Abbott: Who is on first! Costello: I'm asking YOU who's on first. Abbott: That's the man's name. Costello: That's who's name? Abbott: Yes. Costello: Well go ahead and tell me. Abbott: That's it. Costello: That's who? Abbott: Yes. PAUSE Costello: Look, you gotta first baseman? Abbott: Certainly. Costello: Who's playing first? Abbott: That's right. Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money? Abbott: Every dollar of it. Costello: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on first base. Abbott: Who. Costello: The guy that gets... Abbott: That's it. Costello: Who gets the money... Abbott: He does, every dollar. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it. Costello: Whose wife? Abbott: Yes. PAUSE Abbott: What's wrong with that? Costello: Look, all I wanna know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name? Abbott: Who. Costello: The guy. Abbott: Who. Costello: How does he sign... Abbott: That's how he signs it. Costello: Who? Abbott: Yes. PAUSE Costello: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on first base. Abbott: No. What is on second base. Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second. Abbott: Who's on first. Costello: One base at a time! Abbott: Well, don't change the players around. Costello: I'm not changing nobody! Abbott: Take it easy, buddy. Costello: I'm only asking you, who's the guy on first base? Abbott: That's right. Costello: Ok. Abbott: All right. PAUSE Costello: What's the guy's name on first base? Abbott: No. What is on second. Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second. Abbott: Who's on first. Costello: I don't know. Abbott: He's on third, we're not talking about him. Costello: Now how did I get on third base? Abbott: Why you mentioned his name. Costello: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third? Abbott: No. Who's playing first. Costello: What's on first? Abbott: What's on second. Costello: I don't know. Abbott: He's on third. Costello: There I go, back on third again! PAUSE Costello: Would you just stay on third base and don't go off it. Abbott: All right, what do you want to know? Costello: Now who's playing third base? Abbott: Why do you insist on putting Who on third base? Costello: What am I putting on third. Abbott: No. What is on second. Costello: You don't want who on second? Abbott: Who is on first. Costello: I don't know. Abbott & Costello Together:Third base! PAUSE Costello: Look, you gotta outfield? Abbott: Sure. Costello: The left fielder's name? Abbott: Why. Costello: I just thought I'd ask you. Abbott: Well, I just thought I'd tell ya. Costello: Then tell me who's playing left field. Abbott: Who's playing first. Costello: I'm not... stay out of the infield! I want to know what's the guy's name in left field? Abbott: No, What is on second. Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second. Abbott: Who's on first! Costello: I don't know. Abbott & Costello Together: Third base! PAUSE Costello: The left fielder's name? Abbott: Why. Costello: Because! Abbott: Oh, he's centerfield. PAUSE Costello: Look, You gotta pitcher on this team? Abbott: Sure. Costello: The pitcher's name? Abbott: Tomorrow. Costello: You don't want to tell me today? Abbott: I'm telling you now. Costello: Then go ahead. Abbott: Tomorrow! Costello: What time? Abbott: What time what? Costello: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's pitching? Abbott: Now listen. Who is not pitching. Costello: I'll break your arm, you say who's on first! I want to know what's the pitcher's name? Abbott: What's on second. Costello: I don't know. Abbott & Costello Together: Third base! PAUSE Costello: Gotta a catcher? Abbott: Certainly. Costello: The catcher's name? Abbott: Today. Costello: Today, and tomorrow's pitching. Abbott: Now you've got it. Costello: All we got is a couple of days on the team. PAUSE Costello: You know I'm a catcher too. Abbott: So they tell me. Costello: I get behind the plate to do some fancy catching, Tomorrow's pitching on my team and a heavy hitter gets up. Now the heavy hitter bunts the ball. When he bunts the ball, me, being a good catcher, I'm gonna throw the guy out at first base. So I pick up the ball and throw it to who? Abbott: Now that's the first thing you've said right. Costello: I don't even know what I'm talking about! PAUSE Abbott: That's all you have to do. Costello: Is to throw the ball to first base. Abbott: Yes! Costello: Now who's got it? Abbott: Naturally. PAUSE Costello: Look, if I throw the ball to first base, somebody's gotta get it. Now who has it? Abbott: Naturally. Costello: Who? Abbott: Naturally. Costello: Naturally? Abbott: Naturally. Costello: So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally. Abbott: No you don't, you throw the ball to Who. Costello: Naturally. Abbott: That's different. Costello: That's what I said. Abbott: You're not saying it... Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally. Abbott: You throw it to Who. Costello: Naturally. Abbott: That's it. Costello: That's what I said! Abbott: You ask me. Costello: I throw the ball to who? Abbott: Naturally. Costello: Now you ask me. Abbott: You throw the ball to Who? Costello: Naturally. Abbott: That's it. Costello: Same as you! Same as YOU! I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is drops the ball and the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow, Triple play. Another guy gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know! He's on third and I don't give a darn! Abbott: What? Costello: I said I don't give a darn! Abbott: Oh, that's our shortstop.

That, alone, without specifics, is at the least, an indication that SOMETHING is going on. As for allergic reaction to the penicillin, due to the gap between the dose, and the time the "help" is requested, as a BLS person myself, I would think it to be not the case, but still monitor breathing and airway, possibly supplemental O2 by local protocol administration device and liter flow. However, unless the BPs are near whatever this patient has as their "normal" reading when the patient is NOT making a complaint, I would have some concerns in that area. So, BLS application of supplemental O2, ALS running a base line 12 lead EKG, consult with OLMC, and/or transport to the nearest appropriate ER for more definitive care. Again, I may not know what it is, but

I caution all who celebrate, either the United States, or Canadian, "Thanksgiving" holiday, to keep an eye out for your server in the restaurant, or even within your homes, for the potential for an international disaster. If the server should trip or fall, it would bring about the : Destruction of China, The overthrow of grease (Greece), and the downfall of Turkey!

Don't worry too much on that, Tom, some of these people are just warming up. I think we are always going to have dissension over which area, FD, hospital, or other, is the best, the worst, the what have you. Me, I was hospital based service, but the Mayor of NYC involved himself, and now the entire service was moved into an FD based service (mission specific EMS, by the way). I just try to work within the system I am in.

The only CFR class I am aware of, but don't have a clue if just for "in-house" or the general public, is that of the FDNY. Contact them and ask. If yes, will either be at Randalls Island FDNY Academy, or FDNY CFR-D building at Fort Totten in Bayside, Queens. You did say that you're in NYC, so should be good locally for you. http://www.nyc.gov/html/fdny/html/home2.shtml

I have vague memories of a stuffed 15 inch high mouse from England riding along with the old NYC Health and Hospitals Corporation EMS, with one of our chiefs. The toy disappeared, after being photographed, in the NYC EMS uniform, with the chief and a specific NYC landmark in the background, and the Brits claiming the critter had been "mouse-napped". This must have been 22 or so years ago.

I don't like it. Until any investigation is completed, keep the individual's names out of it, as shown by the Brooklyn Au Bon Pain coffee shop incident. Also, if I understand the article correctly, the release of names is on the Supervisors, not any Medical Review Board made up of higher medical authority. If the review board finds the individuals not guilty, that is where the incident dies. If they find guilty, bring on the press corps and tell them what is going to be done, both to the individuals involved, and steps to prevent any recurrence.

That was a dam good story. I used to have a "Grandmother" clock (less than 6 feet, at that height or taller, is a "Grandfather Clock. True!) that was in partial malfunction: It would only tick, and not tock. I took it to the clock repairman, and explained the problem. He pushed the loup into his eye, turned to the clock, and said ********************************************************** Terrorist Alert! In a joint statement, the offices of the United States, New York, and New Jersey Attorney Generals announced that yesterday, at the John F. Kennedy International Airport, an individual, later discovered to be a Public School teacher, was arrested while trying to board a flight to Washington DC, while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, and a calculator. The Attorney Generals offices expressed the belief that the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement, and is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction. Al-Gebra is a fearsome cult, that desires average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes goes off on a tangent in a search of absolute value. They consist of shadowy figures, with names like “X” or “Y”, and, although they are referred to as “unknowns”, we know they really belong to a common denominator, and are part of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the great Greek philanderer, Isoseles, used to say, there are three sides to every angle, and if God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes. I am grateful our government has given us a cosine of intent on protracting us from these math-dogs, who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard. These statistic bastards love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence. Under the circumference, it is time we differentiated their root, made our point, and drew the line. These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen, unless we become exponents of a higher power, and begin to factor in random facts of vertex. As the first President George Bush used to say, “Read my ellipse”. Here is one principal he is uncertainty of – Although they continue to multiply, their days are numbered, and the hypotenuse will tighten around their necks!