Illegal immigration of Americans to Canada

[akflightmedic]

>Subject: Illegal immigration of Americans to Canada

>

>

>From the Manitoba Canada Herald (a very underground paper)

>

>The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada

>has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols

>to stop the illegal immigration.

>

>The actions of President Bush are prompting the exodus among

>left- leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt,

pray,

>and agree with Bill O'Reilly.

>

>Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of

sociology

>professors, animal- rights activists and Unitarians crossing their

>fields at night.

>

>"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood

>producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield,

>whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted

and

>hungry.

>

>"He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free- range chicken.

>

>When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to

show

>him my screenplay, eh "

>

>In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher

>fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers

>that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he

>said. "The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so

much

>they wouldn't give milk."

>

>Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals

>near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive

>them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.

>

>A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an

>Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of

>drinking water. "They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet,

>though."

>

>When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often

>wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumours

>have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing

>re- education camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic

>beer and watch NASCAR races.

>

>In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes ingenious ways of

>crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on

bus

>trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a

>half- dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian

>immigration

>authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed

>senior- citizen passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to

>prove they were alive in the '50s.

>

>"If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk

Show,

>we get suspicious about their age," an official said. Canadian

citizens

>have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an

>organic- broccoli shortage and renting all the Susan Sarandon movies.

>

>"I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just

can't

>support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art- history majors

>does one country need?".

[Chief1C]

Canadian Bacon, eh?

Well, after good old Geo Boy blurted out the words "world war three", while doing his dumb-ass smirk..

I might want to illegally immigrate to Canada too.

[Asumpta]

So the folks up north agree, a blue America leads to a bluer Canada.

:D/