Scandal- Does this make the organization look bad?

[Just Plain Ruff]

Good god, if we would all mind our own houses and not others houses on situations like this a lot less bad things would happen than do now.

This is miniscule compared to many things that are going on out there.

[captainstandup]

Fire this guy, he is bad for business and really bad for the profession. This isn't simply a matter of minding our own business, this is a child and there is no excuse or explanation for this guy having become involved with her. Clearly if they are engaged, it has been going on for a while. I cringe at the thought of how young she was when he began molesting her. And to the comment that "this is miniscule compared to what's going on out there".

Old timers used to have a saying that went " you can boil a frog, one degree at a time". This was based on the loosely held "fact" that a frog will not jump out of a pan if the temperature is gradually increased. By the time the frog senses enough pain to realize he is in trouble the damage is done. This was meant to serve as an example of the effect of declining morals "one degree at a time"

If the community gives this guy a pass on this thing and simply writes it off as well she had a note from dad, or she was almost of legal age, or whatever excuse makes them feel good, or at least not bad, then what's next? This isnt a social service or counseling agency, its allegedly a professional organization responsible for a very important mission in providing EMS / Rescue services. Kick him out of the organization ASAP. You may be doing him and his little girl "friend" a favor. If he doesnt have agency responsibilites he will be free to take her to high school each morning, and if he's really good perhaps he can take her to; her senior prom.

[Just Plain Ruff]

Whoa, Captain, step away from the Kool Aid

how can you sit there and say, he's molesting her? All you have are the facts that are laid out by the orignal poster.

YOu are going too far in saying molestation when you know nothing more than what was posted by the original poster who says that he does not know if there is sex going on or not.

I have several friends who waited until marriage to even kiss a guy let alone have sex with them.

We all want to see the worst in this guy but let's at least keep the inflammatory accusations such as molestation away from this.

In some states the age of consent is now 16 or even lower so if she's even 16 years old and the sex is consensual then it's not illegal.

Of course, someone as old as he is dating a girl this young appears innapropriate but if she's of the age of consent there's not much you or anyone can do about it.

So let's stop throwing these comments around like they are for fact because NO-ONE here, not even the original poster have a clue whether they are having sex or not.

[captainstandup]

mo·lest /məˈlɛst/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[muh-lest] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation

–verb (used with object)

1. to bother, interfere with, or annoy.

2. to make indecent sexual advances to.

3. to assault sexually.

OK Perhaps he has just been bothering her, interfering with her maturation to adulthood and annoying the community.

Bill Clinton "I did not have sexual relations with that woman"

The point is; age difference, age of the child, person in a leadership role making bad choices.

You could aske the question though, would it be as much of an issue if the guy wasn't in a public role?

[Just Plain Ruff]

frankly, no it would make no difference at all if you ask me.

The older guy is responsible for his actions irrespective of his position in the community.

I'm no less responsible for my actions if I'm president or if I'm joe blow on the street.

Our actions have consequences regardless of your station in life.

All I was saying is that this guy was not molesting her at least we don't have the proof but if she's of the age of consent and she's old enough to know right from wrong, then It's not illegal. We don't know if they are sexually active or not but if they are then shame on him and her.

Now if she was a bit younger then yes, I'd be in a tizzy as should the community but I don't really have to worry bout this because he's not in my community.

One other thing before I get on my plane. Where are this girls parents? But since they supposedly got engaged then that's a whole nother story.

Oh well, I digress, Captain, I apologize for jumping on you but the molestation comment caught me off guard. Anywho- water under the bridge and I hope you aren't too miffed at my comments.

Take care and be safe.

[captainstandup]

No biggie, I get a little passionate (no pun intended) when it comes to children. We have horrible statistics in North Carolina regarding child abuse and the like and it's really frustrating. The reality is that given the fact this girl is perhaps within days of being "legal” it probably not necessarily an inappropriate relationship. In my mind there would be a significant difference in this discussion if the girl was a 17 turning eighteen as opposed to perhaps 15 turning 16. In any event, it’s her parent’s responsibility to act in what they believe to be their daughter’s best interest and my opinion really isn't relevant.

Finally, I think in situations like this, the chief has an obligation to make the board of directors or "powers that be" aware of; the situation. This would allow them to be prepared to act in the organizations best interest and it would likely give a sense of credibility to the entire situation if there were no smoke and mirrors. This may be a stretch regarding personal relationships and privacy, but given the unusual sensitivity and risk of negative perception for the organization, I believe everyone involved would benefit from an honest open approach within reason.

[Britt207]

Well to be completely honest I think that it does make your organization look bad. In most cases the community as a whole looks at "leaders" so to speak, and their actions reflect upon you're station. So if this older guy, is dating a minor, it will look bad, because well she's a minor, reguardless of how he perceives her.

[Dustdevil]

Ruff brings us to a valid point which serves as a perfect place to beg the obvious question;

What can you do about it?

He has been charged with no crime. He has violated no agency policy or term of employment. And even if he had, I can assure you that his attorney could get that one overturned quite handily, as it would be no more valid than a policy against homosexuality.

So again, what can you do about it? Pressure the guy out? Harrass him until he leaves? Then you are setting yourself up to be the one in legal trouble or pushed out of the organisation. So really, the answer is there is nothing you can or should do about it, save for mind your own business and concentrate on being the best provider you can be without worrying about everybody else's love life.

[Capman]

Well, this one will spawn mixed feelings in any crowd. There is no easy way to offer answers or opinions that really matter on such a taboo topic. For the records, I take no stance on the matter one way or the other. Though, while Dust' and I haven't been seeing eye to eye lately on another topic, I have to agree with him on this one. The best advice is to keep out of it and don't lose sleep over it, as it shouldn't be your problem. I don't believe that you'll be judged for someone elses actions irregardless of right or wrong.

[Richard B the EMT]

I'll play devil's advocate here: Can this not result in someone, in effect, saying to you, "Aren't you a member of that agency where that bad person works? In my mind's eye, I now equate you with the alleged evil deeds of that person".