Things heard around the hospital

[bethea]

[/font:244eb1940a] [/cJust thought you'd enjoy these...

ACTUAL SENRENCES FOUND IN PATIENTS' HOSPITAL CHARTS

1.She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

2. Patient has chest pains if she lies on her left side for over a year.

3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

6. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.

7. Healthy-appearing decrepit 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

8. The patient refused autopsy.

9. The patient has no previous history of suicide.

10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

11. Patient's medical history has been remarkable with only a 40-pound weight-gain in the past three days.

12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

14. Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up.

15. She is numb from her toes down.

16. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated, and sent home.

17. The skin was moist and dry.

18. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

19. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

20. Rectal examination revealed a normal-sized thyroid.

21. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

22. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

23. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accomodation. (pupils?)

24. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

25. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

26. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stokebroker.

27. Skin: somwhat pale but present.

28. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

29. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen, and I agree.

30. Large brown stool ambulating down the hall.

31. Patients has two teen-aged children, but no other abnormalities.

olor]

[rescuebabe4409]

Those are too funny!

[spenac]

Whats a "SENRENCES"?

[unknown]

SENTENCES!

LOL! Somebody spells as bad as I do!!! :wink:

[spenac]

SENTENCES!

LOL! Somebody spells as bad as I do!!! :wink:

No thats just not possible. :wink: