Who Says Rednecks Aren't Real Bright?

[Jess]

Great to know some people can take a joke Afterall this is the "Funny Stuff" section and nobody said that joke was absolutely knee slapping HILARIOUS but made for a good chuckle yesterday mornin

[spenac]

I take it you are a CITY SLICKER .......lighten up dude it was a joke

Thanks JESS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes thanks Jess. The so called Pro needs to pull the corn cob out of his rear.

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .

. . . you were acquitted for murdering your first wife after she threw out your Elvis 45’s.

. . . you think watching professional wrestling is foreplay.

. . . your front porch collapses and four dogs get killed.

. . . you no longer drink wine ever since the screw cap got caught up your nose.

. . . you think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

. . . that billboard that says, “Say No To Crack” reminds you to pull up your jeans.

. . . your wife’s hairdo was ever ruined by a ceiling fan.

. . . you go to your family reunions looking for a date.

. . . you think a Volvo is part of a woman’s anatomy.

. . . your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.

. . . you’ve got more than three cousins named “Bubba”.

. . . you have an Elvis Jell-O mold.

. . . taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

. . . you’ve got more than one other named “Darryl”.

. . . you ever won first prize in a tobacco spittin’ contest.

. . . on Thanksgiving Day you have to decide which pet to eat.

. . . you’ve ever come home and found crime scene tape across your front porch.

. . . your favorite entree is Spam barbecued on the grill.

. . . your child’s first words were, “Attention K-Mart shoppers!”.

. . . your idea of high-quality entertainment is a six-pack and a bug-zapper.

. . . your whole family is Democrats except little Mary. She got to readin’.

. . . you think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are “Gentlemen, start your engines.”

. . . you kissed your own wife at midnight at the New Year’s Eve party.

. . . you’ve ever taken reading material into an airplane restroom.

. . . you’ve ever gotten an official letter of recognition from a tobacco or beer company.

. . . you vacuum the sheets instead of washing them.

. . . you’ve ever valet parked a snow plow.

. . . you’ve ever stood in line to have your picture made with a freak of nature.

. . . you break wind in public and blame it on your kid.

. . . you’ve ever had to siphon gas from your lawn mower to put into your truck.

. . . you’ve ever paid for a six-pack of beer with pennies.

. . . there are hubcap wind chimes anywhere on your block.

. . . you have a Bud Light pool-table light hanging over your dining room table.

. . . the strongest smell in your house is butane.

. . . you think paprika is a Third World country.

. . . you ask the preacher, “How’s it hanging?”

. . . you go to a stock car race and don’t need a program.

. . . you have a bumper sticker that says, “My mother’s an honor student” at the local junior high.

. . . you think potted meat on a saltine is an hors d’oeuvre.

. . . you played the banjo in your high school band.

. . . the velvet paintings in your house were bought from an art dealer on the side of the highway.

. . . you have no hubcaps on your car because you’re using them to feed your hunting dogs.

. . . you can’t visit relatives without getting mud on your tires.

. . . your mother doesn’t put shoes on to go grocery shopping.

. . . you’ve ever been blacklisted by a bowling alley.

[Richard B the EMT]

Aw, come on, now. City slickers, rednecks, hillbillies and good ol' boys all know that it is not

". . . you think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are “Gentlemen, start your engines.”

Instead, it is

". . . you think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are “Play Ball!”

[spenac]

Aw, come on, now. City slickers, rednecks, hillbillies and good ol' boys all know that it is not

". . . you think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are “Gentlemen, start your engines.”

Instead, it is

". . . you think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are “Play Ball!”

Naw thats just you damn yankees.

[Richard B the EMT]

I am no Yankee! I'm a NY METS!

[Richard B the EMT]

You just might be a redneck if you get to be 21 years old before finding out that "Damn" and "Yankees" are two separate words.

[spenac]

You just might be a redneck if you get to be 21 years old before finding out that "Damn" and "Yankees" are two separate words.

2 words naw it aint.

[Asysin2leads]

The difference between the team and the people is that during the Civil War, the Yankees spent a lot of money AND pulled off a victory.

[CoyoteMedic]

The difference between the team and the people is that during the Civil War, the Yankees spent a lot of money AND pulled off a victory.

I'm not even a yankees fan and I had to wince at that. low blow. Good, but low. Keep it coming!

[firedoc5]

Just remember, there's a fine line between redneck and white trash. :wink: