has this happened to you??

[Dustdevil]

Anyone care to comment further, that there are 4 types of EMS personnel:

Those who are able to bottle it up and wait till alone to cry.

Those who might be called "emotional" and start crying at the earliest opportunity.

Those who end up with a PTSD.

The true stone hearts who never cry.

Comments? Other categories?

Hmmm... I wonder if possibly those are not so much categories as they are stages we travel between, like the stages of grief. I've experienced at least three of the four at different times in my career.

[ccmedoc]

Hmmm... I wonder if possibly those are not so much categories as they are stages we travel between, like the stages of grief. I've experienced at least three of the four at different times in my career.

Thinking something very similar myself. I've never been the "emotional" type, though. I think you have to be concerned about the person described as the stone heart for their entire career. Bottling the emotions that are bound to be experienced in this field is a dangerous practice, both emotionally and physically.

I believe that it is incumbant on us, the professionals that have the experience in the field, to recognize the signs of this showing in our coworkers and let them know these potential dangers. I have referred many friends, and some individuals I met through these friends, to seek counseling (not to be construed with CISD) by qualified persons. We are lucky to have social workers and counselors around here with nursing experience and can relate. It has been explained to me often that it is seen as expected for public safety to provide a stoic, hard demeanor. This, with no healthy emotional release, leads to the abuse, suicide, and addictions, we are all aware of. We have experienced this personally in the last couple of years multiple times in our area. So, for the original poster, this relesase is healthy and necessary for continued mental health and shame on anyone who belittles you for it.

[AnthonyM83]

As far as the stone heart, I imagine it's hard to tell who actually has it and who just hasn't been exposed to the proper circumstances. Only time I felt like crying was during prolonged exposure (while waiting for coroner) to a grieving family that resembled mine during in EMT student ride-along. I seriously wanted to cut the ride short and go home.

Since then, I've felt sympathetic plenty of times...had patients I kept thinking about...but never really felt like sad for more than a few minutes (at most)...usually because family's not on-scene and that would be my trigger. Otherwise, everything's just kinda 'eh'.

But I haven't had to deal with scenes that others have...and b/c of that first exposure to the grieving family, I know that there's stuff I could face that might make me get that emotional (otherwise I would have falsely mistaken myself for the heart of stone guy, almost to point of immaturity, that would rather than stand there poking at the exposed brain to see if I could the body twitch kind of guy).

[mediccjh]

Anyone care to comment further, that there are 4 types of EMS personnel:

Those who are able to bottle it up and wait till alone to cry.

Those who might be called "emotional" and start crying at the earliest opportunity.

Those who end up with a PTSD.

The true stone hearts who never cry.

Comments? Other categories?

Very true. Right now I think I'm a stone heart, but I am thinking about seeing someone about the demons I'm experiencing. I'd rather not get into it right now on an open forum, but I'm taking the advice from an experienced medic who has been in da Brick for 20 years, and I look at her as a mentor.

[14Gauge]

I have to say up front, I have only been in EMS for 2 years but did spend 20 in the Military so I have seen a few 'bad' situations before. I've never yet cried or teared from a call. I'm not some kind of super-cool-tough-guy because of this. The truth is that when/if someone dies I'm more like: "Eh. Did I miss on the s/s or the What did I miss in the treatment?" Rather than " Wow, a human being just died. How sad." I'm really more interested in the mechanics of medicine, than the person behind it all.

The company I currently work for only increases this outlook, it's private and 97% of the 'PAYtients' don't require and ambulance but DO have medicaid/medicare. So of course the company will transport them. I was told I WILL lose my job if I was ever caught trying to do anything to discourage or change this, even for obvious b/s. If there is a chance of me caring about a patient as a person instead of a case, this job is destroying it. I pray every day that I get hired on somewhere else before I burn out totally or become truly soulless.

[DED1645]

No beating around the bush. Yes I have. I've been doing emergency services since I was seventeen. I was still in high school when I got my EMT. One incident was the mother of a friend that I known all my life. His mother had severe CHF and coded on us enroute to the hospital and we were unable to get he back. I chose to tell the family that we did our best, but their mother didn't make it. The second was a SIDS case of a four month old male. The mother was holding him outside when we pulled up. The moment I took him from her I knew he was gone. I looked at my partner and he said go ahead for the parents sake start anyway. We did work the baby the whole way to the hospital, but he was gone. The last time was a child that was seven that was struck by a pickup truck. I physically seen the pickup hit him. I was at the child's side in seconds. One of the tires went over his chest. He was in traumatic arrest instantly. I worked him till the local squad arrived. He later died that night in the hospital. My son is now named after that little boy...Tyler. You may cry and you may not. People are different. But one thing for certain never bottle up your feelings and never be ashamed or embarrassed for crying. Does your soul good.