has this happened to you??

[SSG G-man]

I cried after one call I remember. Call went out as a Priority one choking. on way we are told it is a 2y/o female. Great, a kid!! Well, arrive on scene and child has expelled a large chunk of a chicken nugget. Child obviously has a cold (snot nosed kid). Child is crying loudly. I am thinking this is a very good sign. (FYI on a priority one call they dispatch closest BLS ambulance, closest ALS unit (might be ambulance or a medic in a explorer) and an engine company) so we have the cavalry coming. Well, with the foreign object being expelled, decent lung sounds and good air exchange, I cancel the medic unit and tell the mother we are going to transport just to have her checked out.

Well mother is holding child, child crying so much she starts to vomit. We yell at mother to turn child so she can vomit on the floor. Mother instead hugs child tight. Child aspirates vomit and goes down hill from there. We have to call and turn the medic unit around. We transport and meet the medic in route. I heard child was flown to the children hospital that night.

Well, thank goodness it was a rainy evening. on the way back to station my driver had to concentrate on the road and did not see me crying! I beat myself up over the situation! One of our station officers who responded to the scene had been an medic, but had given it up told me he would have made the same call as i did. At the time I cancelled the medic, there was no als interventions needed. He said the person responsible for the condition of the child was the mother. One for letting the child eat the damn chicken nuggets in the first place and two, for not letting the vomit on the floor and causing the child to aspirate.

I cried myself to sleep that night, was considering getting out of EMS!!

[unknown]

Crying is good.

In the light of recent event's I didn't cry until the day of the memorial services for my crew. I had a range of emotions from good to bad, anger and rage to down right nothing short of depression. I cried after the broad cast of the Last call for the fallen flight crew. Then and only then did my roller coaster of emotions stop. I had closure and peace, I had peace with my self and It's as if I finally allowed myself to accept the grieving process for what had happened.

I had stood strong I had stood my ground I had seen it through to the end but now it's over and we all must move on.

The cry helped make all that happen...

[wrenEMT]

I have had a couple crying moments..

First, I have a regular patient that I have gotten very close to she is like my grandmother, now. The reason I have been able to get close to this patient is part of my job is dialysis transport. The other day I brought her to dialysis and when I dropped her off she looked so bad but didn't want to go to the ER. She is her own POA so I had to listen to her. I had a feeling that she was going to go back into the hospital and possibly die this time. It made me feel like crap and since I couldn't do anything for her because she refused any other tx I cried.. It's hard to watch a patient that you care for slip away slowly and painfully.

The other time was my first DOA, we got the call for possible code and when we got there we had all of our stuff in our hands looked at the patient and he had obviously been dead for several hours. Only thing that was upsetting for me was that the patient was approximately the same age as my step-dad which I'm pretty close with. After we loaded the patient up on the coroner's gurney and left scene we went back to station and just couldn't hold in the tears anymore. My partner asked me if I needed to go home.. I refused, I told him that even though it's the first time I had a DOA, I just needed to get used to it, that there will be more DOA's in my career I can't let this one effect me so much..

Although, even today I can still tell you the exact position of the patient and everyone else that was there when it happened.. And everything else that was involved in the incident it doesn't effect me nearly as bad when I think of it. I don't cry but it does have a sobering effect on me. I have had people die on me and those pt's still don't effect me as much as that first DOA..

[Richard B the EMT]

A female Paramedic and partner, with a BLS crew backing them, worked up an 18 year old salt water drowning/submersion case. Between the search time, getting the patient off the beach, and travel time in the ambulance (BLS team splitting to drive both vehicles) of roughly 45 minutes, CPR done for at least a half hour of that.

The crews wheeled the patient into the ED, and, without even palpating for a pulse, from 25 feet away, the Doc says for them to stop.

The female Paramedic was so upset that the doctor had done so, and went home on a medical leave (wellness day). Before she went back to the fire house, to take the leave, she told me, first off, to not talk to her (I sometimes am not a calming influence), and then said she wanted to punch out the doctor. This Paramedic is a "sweet kid" type, gentle, and calm: that she would be talking violence was totally 180 degrees from her normal character.

Same female Paramedic took a couple of mental health days, again, after she and her other partner were called to a still unidentified baby in a Mickey Mouse blanket, found dead and buried on a different section of the same public beach, a couple of years later.

Had I been on that one, I probably would have been just as broken up.

[Virginia NPP]

Hi All,

I am a Psych NP and wanted to say how glad so many are supportive of showing emotions at rough times, even for male of the species. :wink: It is important not to turn into a robot.

I would like to add one thing. Going over the scene in your head and doing the what ifs: what did I say? what should I have said? what if I had done something different? and OFTEN should I have been more aggressive? are a normal part of resolution. As long as it doesn't go on too long. It is great that you can do that here and get support and reassurance.

You had the right diagnosis and the doc was wrong, I am sure this is not the first or last time that will happen. In this case however, no one could have saved that patient and you did a good job.

Take care of yourself.

[medibrat]

You know, every once in a while, I get a call that you would think should evoke tears, and I walk away thinking, "well, am I finished?" and then, out of the blue, something will happen, something will strike me on just the right day, in just the right form, and I'll get back to the rig and tear up. Usually I can wait until I get home, and then I have a good long cry...

It's the young, terminal Ca pts whose family meets you at the hospital so they can say goodbye. It's the parents and younger siblings of the SIDS baby you are trying valiantly (and hopelessly) to save. It's the patient who you just shocked back to life waking up on the way to the hospital and holding your hand...giving you a hug and saying thank you.

Sometimes the things I love about this job are also the things I hate about this job. Brock honey, like someone else said...the day you stop crying is the day you quit ems.

Brat :angel8:

[MedicNorth]

We spend years building up walls that keep us separated from the emotional side of the patient contact, but every once in a while, something comes up that blasts through those walls like they were made of paper. I think it is impossible to truly be detached all the time, and I have more respect for people who are willing to risk a little bit and offer some emotional as well as professional contact.

For me, the families of the patients are the ones who get to me the most, or the ones that you were SURE were going to make it after you worked so hard with them, but didn't.

You're doing fine - and thank you for letting us show some positive support on what can be a very thick-skinned forum.

[Virginia NPP]

Hi All,

I think the last 2 posts are great and right on.

This string is really a great place for people to express those difficult emotions.

Sometimes being "thick skinned" is easier (in the short run) because it helps avoid the pain. In the long run however it can cause a lot of distress in all aspects of life., and it can cause burnout.

[Richard B the EMT]

Anyone care to comment further, that there are 4 types of EMS personnel:

Those who are able to bottle it up and wait till alone to cry.

Those who might be called "emotional" and start crying at the earliest opportunity.

Those who end up with a PTSD.

The true stone hearts who never cry.

Comments? Other categories?

[unknown]

Anyone care to comment further, that there are 4 types of EMS personnel:

Those who are able to bottle it up and wait till alone to cry.

Those who might be called "emotional" and start crying at the earliest opportunity.

Those who end up with a PTSD.

The true stone hearts who never cry.

Comments? Other categories?

VERY TRUE

I would fall into the bottle it up until I am alone- I usally find a way to vent wether it be on line IM, CHAT or a phone call to a friend, but never on the job or in public.