I win

[Just Plain Ruff]

jp I beat you on that one. I transported Jesus and he proceeded to absolve me of all my sins.

[JPINFV]

Did he offer you a deal on yard work too?

Must be a different Jesus then.

[Just Plain Ruff]

no no deals on yard work but my jesus had a fixation on time and it was guaranteed I knew the right time when I was done with him.

It's amazing what 5 mg's of haldol will do.

[pacman]

Geez, I guess I can't complain about stubbed toes and lacerated hands ( 5 hours in the past) anymore.

[itku2er]

I love this thread its funny.

JP did you at least buy Jesus something to eat? Ruff have you been good since you transported him?

Lucky when you get as old as some of us are you will win.....great thread though incase I didnt mention that before.

[Just Plain Ruff]

ok here's another

got dispatched to a local dirtbag hotel. Call was for a earache. When we got there the woman who was living in single room hotel room also had 4 children living with her.

She decided that since she had an earache that she would have her 4 kids transported too for evaluation of a infected toenail on one, a spot on another's back and lice on the third and 4th kid.

Needless to say the fleabag hotel was 2 blocks from the hospital. You could see the hospital from where our ambulance sat.

I told her that her insurance would not cover the transport because it was not a emergency.

she told me this

"I already have a 3500 dollar bill from your service and a 10 thousand dollar outstanding bill from the hospital so I don't really care if I owe you more money. It's not like I have the money to pay for this anyway" or something to that effect.

I then replied "Well how can you argue with that logic" and I got a complaint for being rude to her. Go figure.

[medibrat]

I just recently transported a 'couldn't sleep so I took another ativan, now I'm dizzy and have a headache; and no I didn't go to bed when I took the other pill' in the middle of the night.

I have never transported Jesus, although I once transported a woman who claimed to have dinner with him on a regular basis. The best one was the very detailed description of how to recognize and avoid a swarm of demons. Useful info for sure!

Brat :angel8:

[Medic117]

No, I think I can top that. I was called to a store a few blocks away from the ER to take a man to Walmart to get his prescriptions filled.

[MSDeltaFlt]

This Jesus dude get around. I picked up this lady who told me that everyday when she falls out, Jesus comes by and brings her back to life.

She must be telling the truth because sometimes she'll show up and can only write notes to the ER nurses in English because she's stuck speaking in tongues. She can't figure out why.

Hallelujah!

[WANTYNU]

Well as you may know, in NYC we can’t refuse to bring you to the hospital, which in this contest gives us an unfair advantage, so I’ve transported the following to the ED:

And the Oscar goes to:

A tough drug dealer type who stubbed his toe on a sewer cover, when once in the back of the bus and we removed his shoe (with lots of “Oh G-d its killing me”) to observe a black and blue toe with a small abrasion, after we told him he might lose his toenail he started to cry (yes cry) and then he stated “I feel cold, I’ve lost a lot of blood” with tears coming from our eyes my partner told him we might have to remove his foot to stop the bleeding but we would try to save it, he started to ball. But the funniest part was when he called for “his Bit*h”, who came to the back of the bus opened the door, looked at his toe, and in front of his “peeps” called him a “Big Pussy” at which point everyone cracked up, then she said “give me the cash” to which he pulled a 3” roll of what looked like hundreds out of his pocket and gave it to her… he didn’t say another word all the way to the ED…

Not until later did it occur to me I should have asked for payment in CASH…

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Transported a PAPER CUT, call came in as a “heavy bleeder” priority 3, the woman was at the local phone company complaining about her bill, she cut her index finger to MAYBE give enough blood to get a read on a Glucose Monitor. The hospital was 5 blocks away (you could see it from the location), she thought she would sue the phone company for damages… I wished her luck, and made her sign the payment guarantee on the ACR.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

And the best was I met Bat Man! He explained he locked his costume and cape in the Bat mobile and needed a ride to the bat cave, when I told him I had to take him to see the doctor first, he agreed as long as I promised not to reveal his true identity…

-w