I win

[sevenball842]

couple of calls. One, called to the local elderly storage facility for the pt. who was given her new med. (ambien) and is now sleeping, need immediate transport for eval.

Next, chronic caller at a previous job for the lady who needed:

a glass of water

her t.v. remote

her shoes taken off

she was crooked in bed

her lights turned off

the feeling as though she may get a headache

I have more but you get the point

[firedoc5]

Guy had "kidney stones". Actually he placed two pebbles...you know where.

89 yr.old woman, her breasts were sagging more than usual.

A gentle who had "tired blood".

[firemedic05]

Dispatched on what we call a "city dump" because city EMS knows its BS, so they send us. Drove code all the way from the South side to North side(which personally I think has to break some law), for respiratory distress. I worked for private ambulance, by the way. Come in and find older female lady with 14 miles of nasal cannula stuck under recliner. Oxygen saturation was 97% on room air. Then she procceded to ask my partner to change a light bulb and take the trash out to the dumpster. Yes, he actually did it, while I got AMA info.

Also transported Jesus, for fighting with another resident at psych facility. I asked him what the problem was? and he stated If that Motherf'er takes my Godd*** Bible one more time, I am going to kill him! Beware the wrath of Jesus!!!

Call last shift for I can't sleep? Found out his family wanted to put him in nursing home and he was very anxious about it. However, not anxious enough to call his personal doctor or buy Tylenol PM. I know it must be hard to give up your freedom but at some point you have to weigh out being found home dead or going to live with the dead?

[captainstandup]

There is a project near here where several black gentlemen and ladies, if you will, summon an ambulance for emergency conditions. Upon arrival @ the ER they instantly refuse further treatment and leave the ER AMA. This is done to secure a free ride across town since the hospital is near the baseball field, liquor store and local drug dealer hangout. I have personally witnessed individuals on more than one occasion being transported only to see them at the ball park not 20 minutes after arriving at the hospital.

Before someone starts yelling about this being racist, it is merely fact and to date no other race has pulled this %^&*()$#@. The next time it happens to me I'm going to get a warrant for felony misuse of 911 and summoning an ambulance without intention to pay for services.