three years later

[RaceMedic]

i might be a little buzzed but i dont think i was being harsh. and said basically the same thing you did ... as far as the suprise part ... i have been a member of this site for a few yrs and took a break for awhile.... dust was just saying he was suprised to see me ... lol

Ohhh and yea i have seen this scenario played out more than once and in more horrific ways ... and have kids of my own ...

[EMS49393]

How many of you actually have seen a baby that has been killed by his mother?Virginia

As a matter of fact, I have. I used to work for this subpar private ambulance company that had the goul contract of running all the dead bodies to the morgue for autopsy. For some reason, these bodies had to go by ambulance, and for why, I'll never know.

I had a brand spanking new EMT with me one night. He was an excited, energetic, former sanitation engineer that completed the 18 day wonder EMT class and was now on his first solo shift, with me. First run out of the gate was to the local childrens hospital for a body pick-up. He was six weeks old. His mother slammed his head into a wall because he wouldn't stop crying. The sister got immediate power to make medical decisions, and after it was determined the baby was brain dead, they terminated life support. This was at 1900 hours. We arrived for pick-up at 2300 hours. His little heart was still beating, a terrible, agonal 40 or so bpm. I told my partner to take the stretcher and go back to the truck. I asked the nurse if we could just wait a few more minutes before putting him in a bag. Give his heart a chance to know he's gone.

I carried him to the truck, strapped him on the stretcher, got up front and directed my partner on how to get to the morgue. I told him to remain with the truck. I scooped up the baby and took him to the morgue. The security guard in the elevator asked me what happened, and I told him. He said the most comforting words he could muster. He told me that at least one person had a chance to hold that baby with love and not hate. I guess he noticed the "mommy rock" I was doing in the elevator.

My partner asked me why I let him off the hook on that call. I told him that I hated these coroner runs. They're goul runs, and we shouldn't be using ambulances to do this. He was so excited to get out there and "help people." I just didn't want his first solo run to be his last run ever.

Every now and again I think about that baby. Luckily for me I have a strong belief in God and Heaven, and I know that baby is better off where he is.

Surprisingly enough, women make great paramedics, great nurses, great doctors. We're inherently more empathetic than men. Unfortunately, that's often our career downfall.

[Virginia NPP]

"Surprisingly enough, women make great paramedics, great nurses, great doctors. We're inherently more empathetic than men. Unfortunately, that's often our career downfall" (I still haven't figured out the quote thing)

This is not really suprising. It is the reason we need to take good care of ourselves and emotions so we can continue to do such a great job.

What an honest and gutsey post! Take care of you. (by the way it took me years to figure out how to do this)

Virginia

[WelshMedic]

EMS,

Whilst I wholehheartedly agree that women can make damn fine medics I'm not sure it's wise to make a blanket statement that women are inherently more empathetic. That's certainly not always my experience; I have female coworkers that, whilst being very competent, show little empathy. The reverse is also true of some male colleagues. I do however thank you for sharing your story with us, I found it quite moving to read.

Taking this discussion on a slightly different tack; I was once told by a wisened old colleague that pediatric trauma/arrests were worse when you had children yourself. I found it a rather arrogant and misplaced statement at the time. Now I have 2 small children; and my god, how right that old sage was. It is different - it affects me much more now than before Daniel and Hannah came along.

To EMTb,

I had a spate of bad runs a while ago (there was a lot of pedi's involved) and took some time out to give it all a place. Luckily I had a boss that was very understanding of the situation and I was able to talk about it. That's the key to this - talk to someone about it. Medication is not the route that I would personally go down, it only made me feel worse (dizziness) but if all else fails, then it is an option.

Good luck,

WM

[vivibonita]

How many of you actually have seen a baby that has been killed by his mother?Virginia

Ok... I agree with what everybody had said about this girl getting help. However, if you read closely, she is not being affected by the baby being killed by the mother. My understanding is that she feels guilty, as if she had helped this baby die by performing the head-tilt maneuver.

I agree that younger people have a hard time dealing with things as traumatic as this one, and that we are all different when doing so, but I wonder if there was a debriefing after this situation?? or if everybody goes through one after they go through these kind of situations??

[ccmedoc]

How many of you actually have seen a baby that has been killed by his mother?

Yes..Too many times and I still think about them sometimes. Funny how you never forget.

However, if you read closely, she is not being affected by the baby being killed by the mother.

Thats what I got too. I think any health professional would have some amount of guilt in losing this patient...even if the death was imminent. Nature of the beast, so to speak. In the classes and general public there is an aire of "we save everyone".....very soon it becomes painfully obvious this does not happen. Not even close.

Try not to take personally the fact that the child died. The deed was done before you got there and, given the circumstances, you did the best you could according to you education and training. Education in this situation would have to include what the mother was telling you...not much. In the end, not much could have been done, and moving on would be the thing to do....

[gvandellen]

I agree with ccmedoc about not trying to take the call personally. When did my paramedic ride time my preceptor reminded me on every call that would induce a higher level of stress (codes, shootings, or child vs auto) because he could see I was getting a little worked up is that these are not OUR emergencies. We are only there to prevent further injury to the best of our ability based on education. You were called to help someone and you were not the primary caregiver. The actions you took were based on your education being overseen someone confident in your abilities and allowed you to proceed. We get called to really bad places that 99.99% of the population couldn't even remotely understand and at the age you saw this happen is unfortunate but talking to someone will help. We can and do help people, but what happens before we get there is not our fault. It's a sad world some days and children are hurt by the very people put on this earth to protect them but that is life. Every event has a story that we only get a little piece of but as you progress with training you will see that what happened wasn't your fault. It's scary to think what you did might have hurt someone but you know that in your heart you did the right thing even if it was just being there.

[Virginia NPP]

There is lots of research supporting women as being more empathic then men. Of course you can challange the research (as some do) and we all know women who have very little empathy.

Yes , I agree guilt is a common feeling in rescuers who have poor outcomes, however it is not the only response. Sometimes its the most obvious, and the easiest to admit to (because it is a universal feeling).

However there are often more personal issues that get triggered by certain experiences. The healing takes place in recognition of how/why the incident effected you personally. (Sorry if this sounds like psychobabble)

Stay well and practice self-empathy ( also took me years to learn)

Virginia

[pinochello1]

:cry:Well I have two cases to talk about:

First I think I should tell about the first case I ever lost, it was after only a few months’ out of school and I was called to help with a patient who was not responding.

We went speeding to the house and find that the police are all ready there, we rush in and the family wont let me get close because since I am not from that town they don’t trust me, after convincing them that I am a emt I enter the room where the patient is at and find two paramedics already doing cpr, I try for like 30 minutes to bring him back but it does not work all compressions and all the breaths just make him look like im doing the right thing but it just makes me get tired my partner is just crying and tell me he knows the patient. When I go to get the air tank the two paramedics that were there with me lock me out of the room.

And my second case was just yesterday.

Im called to another no response and find the patient lying in his own waste; he is only 70 on the o2 and 170 in pulse. My partner runs to get the long board and a collar, we tie him down and carry him from the 3 floor down at the first floor every one is screaming that we should hurry up, we finally get the hospital and the doctors are waiting to give us a cardiac patient, we run to the back of the hospital to wash of the equipment and like in 10 minutes the family members of the patient go to were we are at and start fighting with us. When we pick up the patient guess what…………………….

We change him to our stretcher and he dies.