Closeness With Co-Workers

[firedoc5]

I know co-workers can get really close. Some say just as close as family, or even closer. I especially notice this with private services where things are just more relaxed and less formal. The one serv. I was with was very laxed. You may come into the bunk room at 3:00 ready to drop and you collapsed into your bunk. Then you notice someone else is already in your bunk. After you get over the surprise and identify who they are, and hopefully they are of the opposite sex, you just sort of roll over and think, "whatever" and go to sleep. If for some reason there are more people around than there are spaces to change, you all just changed in the same bunk room and went about your business. You generally didn't think anything of it. And of course there were be a few that had a special closeness. But let let me stress it was usually always short of a sexual relationship. Case in point, we had a bad wreck very late at night. We got our patient care done and were in the ER parking lot. One of the gals who responded from home came up behind and and told me not to move. She had her body right against my back and heard her unzip her jumper. Then she sort of moved around. She said she had gotten dressed so fast that she had her bra in a twist and it was driving her crazy. Why she didn't go into a restroom or somewhere other than the parking lot. A few days later we were sitting around the table, and her husband was there too. And the subject came up. She told me, and her husband that she knew that she trusted me that I wouldn't turn around, and even that I did so, she didn't mind if I saw her. Her husband thought it was hilarious. But that's just how close we were. For the first few weeks I worked there I thought that maybe other services were like that. But I later found out it was usually the opposite. Why we were so comfortable together I don't know.

But coming along with being so close, especially when it came to family/ brotherly/ sisterly type of relationships, there was a down side. Occasionally there would be the brotherly/sisterly type of fighting. At times it could get quite intense.

Are there other's out there that had those kind of working conditions? I appreciated that things there in that kind of working conditions were that way. I think with my personality I fit right in. Occasionally we would get someone new and they just couldn't fit in. We usually tried to get them to lighten up but they rarely did. They didn't stay real long.

Also, do you think that kind of working enviroment was appropriate?

[medictx]

Being close to your co-workers is unavoidable. Its going to happen even if the person is of the opposite sex or married. In any type of work were you deal with life and death there is a bond made. The trust factor becomes established and more important the companionship becomes needed. The fine line should be respected and not taken for granted. If you every cross the line, just remember it can come back too haunt you.

[Ridryder 911]

In the earlier days of EMS, I can say it was more alike that, but nowadays if I was to find someone else in my bunk I would be pissed. Sorry, that is avoidable and if you want trouble then proceed.

EMS is a business, paid or not. Not that I am a prude, but one can not have it both ways. We all know things go on at the work place, but condoning it only opens yourself up for problems. I have seen many good medics ruin their professional life for being naive and stupid. One can be comfortable without crossing the line. One would not act or do this with a teenage child, it would be considered inappropriate, so why would one be able to act with such behavior at the work place?

Being comfortable, working with one another is one thing but one has to know and realize the boundaries. Sorry, after seeing some false accusations made, I recommend not to even to get into a potential predicament to have to justify anything.

R/r 911

[Dustdevil]

In the earlier days of EMS, I can say it was more alike that, but nowadays if I was to find someone else in my bunk I would be pissed. Sorry, that is avoidable and if you want trouble then proceed.

The first time I ever slept in an on-call room at a hospital, an OB came into the room without turning the light on. She stripped her scrubs off down to her underwear and crawled into bed next to me. It was only then that she realised that the bunk was already occupied. It was our first time to ever meet, but it was memorable!

[AZCEP]

Work stays at work, home stays at home. Never the twain shall meet.

I do not socialize with the people I work with outside of the three days/week that I'm with them. I discourage my family from trying to contact me at work outside of the unforseeable emergency that I absolutely need to know about before I get home.

Maybe it is my OCD working, but I've always been able to separate incidents at work from home. I've made some great friends over the years, but very few of them even know where I live or what I do on my off time. That is how it will remain.

[firedoc5]

This is being posted for just a couple of "PM's" I received about this topic that I didn't feel like having to repeat to each and every one.

I guess I should have stressed that this was not a regular practice. The guys would usually wear at least P.E. shorts and the women usually wore scrubs or were totally clothed. There were a few that would wear at least a sports bra and shorts. It's not like we were sleeping in the raw. When it came to "sharing" a bunk it was not very often, not just any ole time. And it would be with someone you knew wouldn't mind. If it was someone that you weren't comfortable with, or vice versa, then you went into the TV room and tried to sleep in a chair or something. We were sleeping on call, and everyone knows that the more you sleep in the less you have to put on when you have to jump up and put on clothes. And yes, there were several of us comfortable enough that if we did have to completely change clothes we were OK with it because we were such a tight knit "family". And very rarely did a spouse have a problem with it. Besides, most of the spouses worked at the same place and of course if they were on call together they'd share the same bunk. Now if we made a big thing about it, talking to others or bragging about it to others, then yes, I could see where that would cause an issue. We just never talked about it. Most of the time we never gave it a second thought. We did use some tact.

The main reason there might have been some bunk sharing was that it was a small private service and a small bunk room, and there were only three, and sometimes only four bunks. Usually that's all that would be staying the night, But on some nights when it had been real busy and others were called in to cover for any additional calls they just stayed for the rest of the night instead of going home. Many times after it had been busy and things would slow down, they'd go home. They'd just get home and it would get busy again and would get called back in. So they'd just stay the rest of the night.

So at the risk of sounding rude, which I am by no means trying to do, lighten up.

[KSEMT122]

firedoc5 said

"Also, do you think that kind of working enviroment was appropriate?"

firedoc5 then said

" So at the risk of sounding rude, which I am by no means trying to do, lighten up."

Firedoc5- You asked for opinions, so telling people to lighten up when you hear their opinions might not be the way to go on this one. At the risk of you telling me to "lighten up" I will state my opinion. I always made it a point to keep work life professional. I saw too many people get caught up in the "like family" stuff and pretty soon they were like a backwoods Arkansas family having sexual relations everywhere up to and including on top of kitchen counters. For me personally, I have always avoided getting to close to anyone at work for that purpose and the fact that someone can always take something the wrong way, and that's your job. Or as I've found in EMS, people are always looking to "better" themselves at someone elses expense. I would say that type of work environment is a breeding ground for a lawsuit or STD...maybe both.

[AnthonyM83]

an OB came into the room without turning the light on. She stripped her scrubs off down to her underwear and crawled into bed next to me. It was only then that she realised that the bunk was already occupied.

Ha, I can so see Dust waiting there quietly waiting in thee dark for her to jump into bed haha

Yeah, there's not too much of that at my company...that's how it was in college, though. People left their doors open for people to come and go, girls just asked us to turn around to change, slept in each other's beds all the time just as friends...once even had a girl come into my bed at night and lay next to me, then leave....she was upset about something with her BF but I was way too exhausted to care or talk at that point...but that's part of my open door policy...she was able to come in when she needed to. It's a great environment....if everyone's cool with it...

[katbemeEMT-B]

I am employed with a small hospital based service, but our station is about a mile away from the hospital. We are pretty much left to do what ever we want. It is very relaxed. With that being said, it has allowed us all to become very close. I can totally identify with the family thing. We work closely together and are always willing to help each other. We also spend time outside of work with each other. I think the fact that we are so close heightens our ability to know what our partner needs when we are on the job and caring for a patient. I can also say that all relationships remain platonic. The couple of people that stepped over that line no longer work for us.

[ccmedoc]

Work stays at work, home stays at home. Never the twain shall meet.

EMS= Extra marital sex...doesn't it?? :roll: