10 Things a Paramedic Shouldn't Say

[Wags]

Former probie last year in a neighboring company, talking to one of their senior members:

"Jeez, I'm so strung out."

"Why?"

"I did like three grams of coke last night."

"....."

"Don't worry, it's not like I'd ever do it on shift."

...see ya.

[iMac]

Can you walk?

you kidding? that's the first thing I say!

[firedoc5]

I just love it when someone asks a patient, "Does it hurt bad?" and the answer is, "Well, it doesn't' hurt good." I've actually used that on a Urologist when I a kidney stone. Luckily he was a friend of mine. I told him he set himself up for that one.

[iMac]

"How are you doing?"

[jsadin]

One of my former basic partners (now a medic, but brand new at the time) was asked quietly by me to call for an ALS intercept since the patient seemed to be "going south". Doesn't my partner grab his portable and loudly proclaim into the mic "27A to ...... fire, start ALS...patient is going south". The patient looks at me with wide eyes and says "I am???". I calmly said "Yes maam...south on 122A".

My partner and I had a little talk later.

[firedoc5]

"Would someone grab the hacksaw."

[Upton4785]

"Dude, I'm totally sorry, this was completely my bad, but I dropped a piece of my sandwich into your... well I guess that's your abdomen... yeah, but it's roast beef so it's good."

[Quakefire]

We were aproached one night by a very intoxicated individual at our base while deep cleaning a unit (we are not a fire service, our units are white)

Intoxicated Gentleman "What do you guys do?"

Medic: "Were Fire Fighters!"