New Terrorists?

[Richard B the EMT]

In a joint statement, the offices of the United States, New York, and New Jersey Attorney Generals announced that yesterday, at the John F. Kennedy International Airport, an individual, later discovered to be a Public School teacher, was arrested while trying to board a flight to Washington DC, while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, and a calculator.

The Attorney Generals offices expressed the belief that the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement, and is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

Al-Gebra is a fearsome cult, that desires average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes goes off on a tangent in a search of absolute value. They consist of shadowy figures, with names like “X” or “Y”, and, although they are referred to as “unknowns”, we know they really belong to a common denominator, and are part of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

As the great Greek philanderer, Isoseles, used to say, there are three sides to every angle, and if God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes.

I am grateful our government has given us a cosine of intent on protracting us from these math-dogs, who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard.

These statistic bastards love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence. Under the circumference, it is time we differentiated their root, made our point, and drew the line.

These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen, unless we become exponents of a higher power, and begin to factor in random facts of vertex.

As the first President George Bush used to say, “Read my ellipse”. Here is one principal he is uncertainty of – Although they continue to multiply, their days are numbered, and the hypotenuse will tighten around their necks!

[Lone Star]

Their angles of attack are the sum of the base and heigth of their extensive training, along with a parabola of misinformation at the subtrahend level.

Their numbers are multiplying, while they coordinate with other prime numbered units to achieve more and more divisor results.

All members of the Al-Gebra fraction should be considered armed and dangerous, their methods compass many techniques to inflict terror, primarilly directed at our junior and senior high aged children.

New theorums are being developed in the 'T-proof methods' of Pythagorean culture, and should help defeat these monsters before they can plant too many polynomial equasions in key areas of our society.

[Michael]

Cardinal principles squaring off with radical exponents. That's prime! I hope the judge turns the tables and doesn't commutative the sentences their associatives draw for violating numerous property laws.

[Medic2588]

I'm amazed and more than a little disturbed that you guys remember so many algebra terms 8)

[Michael]

I'm almost positive that sum of this thread is, uh, derivative. Not to sound negative, though.

While we're at it:

>During a talk on the philosophy of language at Columbia University in the 1950's, the Oxford philosopher J. L. Austin noted that while a double negative amounts to a positive, never does a double positive amount to a negative.

From the audience, the familiar nasal voice of Sidney Morgenbesser muttered a dismissive, ''Yeah, yeah.''<

[firedoc5]

I knew my high school math teacher was up to something, just didn't know what. :?