When girls don't put out!!!

[letmesleep]

This was written by a guy...it's pretty damn smart.

Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the pass ion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, ' I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told he r we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all

dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could ha rdly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that b*t*h knows I'm smarter than her.

[Lone Star]

Chalk one up for the guys!!

[Upton4785]

That should be handed out to guys outside the church on their wedding days.

[itku2er]

I bet he doesn't get any for a long time.... :twisted: :twisted: But still I thought it was funny and I am a girl. :wink: :wink: :wink: Maybe I need more coffee :?:

[GypsyMedic]

More coffee is always needed!! And I don't care who you are...that's funny. Even us girls can respect that one!

[itku2er]

More coffee is always needed!! And I don't care who you are...that's funny. Even us girls can respect that one!

AMEN sister I thought it was funny as heck.....

[Defiant1]

damn that was funny, i'm sending that one to my fiance :twisted:

[Christopher.Collins]

...

I think Im ganna cry

[Richard B the EMT]

damn that was funny, i'm sending that one to my fiance :twisted:

Best hope she has a sense of humor, or you'll be referring to her as your "Ex-fiancee".

[Defiant1]

Best hope she has a sense of humor, or you'll be referring to her as your "Ex-fiancee".

she thought it was funny too