I am feeling really bad....

[Kaisu]

OK - so I've had about 15 calls with my new job and I am getting creamed. This is my first job after paramedic school and I am feeling overwhelmed. The company is extremely busy, with an average of 30 calls per shift (run by 3 crews of 1 paramedic and 1 EMT each). I have had a different preceptor each day. They give contradictory advice and when I change my methods to adapt to one, the next one slaps me for it. The rigs are not always stocked properly and the people are overworked. I am sick to my stomach. I feel like I have been thrown to the wolves. I am supposed to be cut loose on my own in two weeks with an EMT. This is a station where it is not unusual to be the only team 50 miles out and ride back with THREE patients in the rig.

I know I am not a stupid person, but these people act like because I have no EMT B experience that I am a complete loser and not up to snuff. My medical knowledge is better than theirs, but I freely admit that school is different from life and I am NOT equipped to do what they expect of me. What do I do? I am really looking for help here.

[spenac]

Hang tough. Stick to what you know is right. Act confident at all times, not paragod attitude, but still a positive attitude. Take advice with a grain of salt as some advice my come from poorly educated paramedics.

[Just Plain Ruff]

one of these days you may have to treat one of those Yahoo's and then let's see how they treat you.

[Eydawn]

Take notes on how each FTO wants you to do it with them, then try to act accordingly. Refer to the notebook if necessary- tell them it's your notes on what they prefer because they are offering different approaches to medicine and you'd rather work in a cohesive team than irk anyone, and you don't want to cause offense to any of the FTO's.

Make sure the second you get on shift you go over your inventory in the rig. Tell the FTO's it's because you're wanting to memorize where everything is so it's second nature to you. Take healthy snacks with you, and in your space between calls, take at least 5 minutes for yourself (even if it's locking yourself in the bathroom) to take several slow deep breaths and recognize that you're only human.

Also, explain to your FTO's that you wanted to gain the medical knowledge to help you develop the right kind of experience and habits- that you felt like you needed the background base to be the best medic you can. Don't apologize for going straight through; do ask them to help you and give you tips to handle the pressures that come with real life EMS. Also, freely admit that you're still learning since you don't have that many hours under your belt in the field, and that you appreciate advice but that unwarranted criticism is unhelpful to everyone.

You can learn to handle this. It will just take a bit of time. What is it that feels so overwhelming to you, other than the switching FTO's (I know that kind of thing drives ME nuts) and the pressure of jumping right in the deep end? Are you afraid that your inexperience will lead to stupid mistakes? That you won't be respected ever, because you're green now?

This will pass. Make sure you take water with you and stay hydrated... control what you can control, basically. Also, when you get paired with an EMT, be upfront about your level of experience and that you're still establishing how you, as a medic, run things and that you're open to suggestions, but that you will have final say over how calls are run with you. I think you can do that without offending someone if you phrase it right.

Stick with it lady! You're an amazing person and a very smart paramedic. The chops part will come... just keep with it.

Wendy

CO EMT-B

[Kaisu]

I am the most afraid of doing something really stupid and hurting someone. The biggest problem is that I don't trust these people. (They don't trust me either). There is a lot of corporate crap going on. My preceptor had a problem with something I did and he did not say a single word to me about it. He ran into the supervisor's office and closed the door. Several hours later I was called in and chastised. I took it because yes - I had made a mistake.

I had a situation on scene where stuff was not where it was supposed to be. I was essentially told that I probably didnt know where to look. I brought the bag out and actually showed a co-worker that it was lacking before I filled it, but I still wasnt believed by the supervisor.

I had FTO's make me write my narratives on a piece of blank paper for approval before transcribing it onto the PCR. I was off at 8:00pm last night. At 7:30 I took my narrative to the FTO to approve. He told me he was busy and leave it. He would be in in the morning. I was off today. At 8:15am I get a call telling me that I didnt finish my paperwork and I had to get in and do it. I tried to explain what happened. I was told that's your paperwork and it is your responsibility - I had to go in an complete it. That particular FTO says "it was a misunderstanding.

Don't get me wrong - some of the people are really good. A few of the women have been awesome. I just get this gut churning feeling in my stomach that this is a meat grinder and I am going to be run off my feet. It scares me because what I see tells me that patient care has got to suffer. There is no way to deliver proper care if people are exhausted, undersupplied and ill equipped. I am too green to say anything about what I see around me but I can't pretend to myself that I don't notice.

Thank you Wendy for your kind words.

[Asysin2leads]

Kaisu, it sounds like you are pretty much going through everything every person with brains who enters into paramedicine goes through in their first couple of months. It sounds like you're not in with a bunch of winners, and unfortunately you're not in much of a position to do anything until you get off probation at least.

Start to gradually slide into a different role. You are a student and a new hire but you are also a paramedic and expected to have the brunt of responsibility of patient placed on you very soon. Do not let people tear you down over petty mistakes, know your protocols and your laws by heart, and stick to them. And if at the end of the day, if after a couple of months, you come in on time, treat people in accordance with your local laws and protocols, and go home, and they still treat you badly, give them the finger and move on, because you will only be hurting yourself by continuing to work there.

[reaper]

Kaisu,

If you feel confident in your PCR skills, then write it. This is your call and your legal document. No one can tell you how to write it.

As far as Pt care, trust me, you will make mistakes. As long as you learn from them, you will do great. Keep it simple and look at your protocols, if you need to.

Ignore the others and be yourself. If you make a mistake, that actually matters, fess up and accept responsibility for it. That is all you can do!

[DwayneEMTP]

Hey Girl,

First, I've found that things are rarely different than they were in school. The anatomy is exactly where I was taught to expect it. The physiology and pharmacology do what they were designed to do the vast majority of the time. I don't like it when you sound like you have to explain that you were just a student a few months ago. You've lived a few years, been a professional, killed em in medic school (No pun). You're full grown now, no apologizing for not having done this since you were a kitten.

I'm going to take a leap here, but it sounds to me like you're still, at least partly, in student mode.

You don't owe any of these people anything. Your life experience alone poots you miles ahead of most of them. Write my PCRs twice? Aint gonna happen. That may be fine for students, but it's bullshit hazing for a paramedic unless you've done something dangersous, or been cought lieing, which I know beyond a doubt has not happened.

You know as well as I do that you teach people how to treat you, so stop allowing them to treat you poorly.

I know you're not starving, so this is my advice. Go to work tomorrow and be a paramedic, completely remove all subserviant student parts of you. Allow them to respect you as a medic, and if they are unable to do so then take one of the other job you were offered.

Stand up, do good medicine, be confident. The good medics will respect that, the bad medics won't be able to tolorate it, and in a few days you will know if this is a good place for you to work or not.

Besides, anyone that is attempting to evaluate without one consitent, educated opinion as opposed to a bunch of ecclectic uneducated opinions probably isn't going to make you happy anyway....

Or....Takes names and I'll fly over and kick the snot out of them for you....Though the first option is probably better...

Keep your chin up Lady. You've worked hard, you've earned your knowledge and this job, and the respect that comes with it. stop letting them treat you like a second class citizen.

Dwayne

[p3medic]

What makes you think her FTO's opinions are "uneducated"? Just curious. She's a brand new medic with no experience beyond her medic program. The company she is employed at has taken the time to place her with more experience, and perhaps more educated providers to ease her into the job. While they may not be going about it in the best way, I think we may want to give them the benefit of the doubt.

As for having her chart evaluated prior to submital, I don't see an issue with it. I look over every chart when I precept new medics, and if it doesn't comply with department standards, they write it again. Its not hazing.

[Kaisu]

P3medic.. for the most part you are correct. However, my charts are BETTER than those written by the others. I have comments from the hospital and one of the supervisors that they are excellent. One of the FTOs has a style that he prefers. He fills in all the blanks and little check boxes thoroughly and then limits his narrative to one or two lines. He told me he's had to defend his charts in court many times and has never been nailed. :? I didnt see him for 3 shifts. I had other preceptors. His turn came around to precept me and he didnt even look at my narrative. He crossed it out on my draft sheet, wrote his own and said "this is all you need". What was I going to do? get in a pi**ing match with him or just shut my mouth and do what I was told? I shut my mouth and did what I was told. *** edit - PS he marked on my evaluation sheet for the run that my report writing needed improvement - ](*,)

I figured out what was going on. These people are firmly in the camp that you MUST be an EMTB before you become a paramedic - so for me, that is strike 1. A lot of people are willing to give me the benefit of the doubt, but there is this one shift - all hoary old veterans - ALL MALE - that are going to make me earn everything I get. Every error I make, and I've made many already is just justification for the way they see things.

Do not get me wrong. There are wonderful people that work at this company. This used to be a mom and pop organization that was bought out by a big one in the spring of this year. People are still adjusting. Its not the greatest time to be a newbie in the company. There are those people (and you know this is true) that are trying to advance their own positions over the bodies of others.

I appreciate everything people have written. I am getting a little more perspective on this situation. After a full days rest I already feel better. I am putting my head down and plowing on through. Don't be surprised if I appear on here crying in my beer many more times.

Thanks for everything.