Unintended elder abuse - calling Grandma "Sweetie"

[Michael]

what about people that call their patients buddy for the men? Is that equally as bad?

Naw, sick people never mind that one, Chief! :wink:

I've long considered changing my first name to Sir.

[Eydawn]

Here's the problem... many people feel compassion for those who are hurting or incapacitated, and that emotion can be expressed verbally without fully understanding how the person would wish to be addressed. From what I can tell, it's always better to err on the side of respect, but you can end up saying the wrong thing either way.

It's impossible to predict whether or not someone wishes to be called by their first name, their title, or a casual appellation of affection like "dear" or "hon." You can get burned no matter WHICH angle you take.

I personally use sir/ma'am until told not to. But with the elderly in nursing homes who can't always express their desires, one could imagine someone who hurts just as much from always being treated "respectfully" with sir, ma'am, Mrs. So and so instead of getting some sort of affection. It's a tough line to walk. But one should be mindful of the line, no matter the outcome...

Wendy

CO EMT-B

[Dustdevil]

Great article. Although, it is certainly nothing new. This is something we have all heard before. Too many providers simply don't care.

Forgot to add what about people that call their patients buddy for the men? Is that equally as bad?

Depends on where you are. It's a cultural variable. In Canadia, it is usually not only acceptable, but the norm. In most of the U.S., it would be considered overly familiar. When in doubt, remain formal. And unless you know your patient personally and well, there is doubt.

This should be covered thoroughly in the educational process of ANY healthcare provider. If it wasn't covered thoroughly in your school, then your school SUCKS. However, unfortunately, just like everything else taught in school, too many people graduate and believe that there is a difference between what you should do in school and what you should do in practice. Most people who use such familiar, offensive, and condescending terms with their patients were taught not to in their educational process. They simply fall back on bad habits on their own.

[Richard B the EMT]

My way is, if the patient seems to be one who is no longer a minor, they are "Sir" or "Miss". On judgement calls, that becomes "Missus". then I ask how they would like to be addressed, and use that form of address.

[Michael]

use that form of address

Richard B.: "What form of address would you like me to use?"

Patient: "Actually, I think you look just fine in slacks."

[Richard B the EMT]

OUCH!

I shoulda seen that one coming a mile off!

Art Carney as Ed Norton

[marq=left:de25d3d442]"Hello, Ball!"[/marq:de25d3d442]

[firedoc5]

We had a guy that used the term "dear" all the time. Him saying it wasn't the problem, it was the way he said it. It always sounded as if it was belittling or condensending to the patient. Don't know why but that's the way it always sounded. Drove us nuts and I know it bothered the patient and families. We talked to him about it but of course he said that he was just using as a term of endearment. Maybe it was because he had that "Chicago accent" or something.

So, maybe it's not always what you say, but how you say it.

[Dustdevil]

Again, this has been clearly addressed at length for decades. It is a clear psycho-social factor that is addressed in paramedic school, nursing school, and medical school. It's not just some random idea tossed out by some pop psychologist. It's in the textbooks. Consequently, a competent organisation would address this in organisational policy. It is a simple, yet important matter of dignity and respect. Willfully disregarding this factor is an assault upon the dignity and respect of your patients. I would have no more tolerance for this condescension than I would for sexual harassment. You get one warning, then you're unemployed.

[firedoc5]

I always stuck with Sir or Ma'am.

It wasn't a patient but one day I called my nine year old niece "baby". She turned around and flat told me that she was not a baby, and that she was a big girl now.

[reaper]

I'm with Firedoc, Sir and Ma'am will never do you wrong.

Unless you can't tell which one they are!! :shock: ( I have had some like that)