British IQ Test

[Michael]

Q1: What do you put in a toaster?

A: If you said "toast," then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "bread," go to question 2.

Q2: Say aloud the word "silk" five times quickly. Then spell "silk." And then answer the question, "What do cows drink?"

A: If you said "milk" please don’t attempt Q3. You’re obviously a littel drunk, and your brain is overstressed and may overheat. If you said, "water," then proceed to question 3.

Q3: If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a greenhouse made from?

A: If you said, "green bricks," you’re obviously a fool and you shouldn’t be here trying to answer these questions. If you said "glass," then go on to question 4.

Q4: It's twenty years ago and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (if you remember, Germany was politically divided at that time into East Germany and West Germany.) During the flight, one of the plane’s engines suddenly fails. The pilot soon realises that the last remaining engine is also about to fail and decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the remaining engine fails before he has time to put his plan into action and the plane crashes in the middle of "no man's land," exactly half way between East and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors?

A: If you said anything else other than, "You don’t bury survivors," you’re a wipe-out and you must never try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. If you said "You don't bury survivors," then proceed to the next question.

Q5: If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60th of a degree every minute, then how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?

A: If you said, "360 degrees" or anything else other than "one degree", you need to stop boasting at once. You might have got this far, but now you are very much out of your league. So turn your pencil in and leave the room. If you said, "One degree," proceed to the final question.

Q6: You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, 6 people get off the bus and 9 people get on. In Swindon, 2 people get off and 4 get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 get on. In Swansea, 3 people get off and 5 get on. In Carmathen, 6 people get off and 3 people get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?

A: Oh, for Heaven sake! It was you, you goose. Read the first line.

[Richard B the EMT]

Re Question #1: what about bagels, bialys, or pizzas (I have a tray type, not a pop up).

Re Question #2: Baby cows, usually called calves, drink milk, don't they?

Re Question #4: I thought it was a chartered flight crew and group of passengers from Hollywood, Florida, going from JFK International Airport (New York City) to Hollywood, California, via LAX, that crashed outside Chicago's O'Hare International Airport?

Re Question #6: The question sometimes is, "How many stops did the bus make?" (7)

[Michael]

Maybe that's why it's a British IQ test. :wink: