Forced officer retirements

[aussiephil]

The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement

bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of

$1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his

body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of His head

to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus

of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from

the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.

The third one was a noncommissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked

where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my weenie to

my testicles."

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about

the nice big checks the previous two Officers had received. But the old Chief

insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was

taken by a Medical Officer.

The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop 'em," which

He did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's

weenie and began to work back. Dear Lord!" he suddenly exclaimed,

"Where are your testicles?"

The old Chief calmly replied, " Vietnam "

[AnthonyM83]

I love the ridiculous situations these jokes setup in order to get the punchline.

Good joke, though.

"they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement

bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of

$1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his

body."

[firedoc5]

Since I was in the Navy, it's just about the way they think.

[Fifthkid]

Are you gonna tell them how much i got for a pension Phil?

[Richard B the EMT]

If the missing parts can be found, that CPO is going to be richer than the top 10 of the fortune 500 combined!