Kaisu Posted November 23, 2008 Posted November 23, 2008 I don't want to hijack this thread, but I do need to respond. I will digress.. but I'm old, and a grandma so humor me. When I first started at this job, I went out to my car and there was a homeless woman sleeping in it. I was mad at first, but as she slowly awoke, I looked around my car. This woman had been very careful to not mess up anything that I had in the car. She just needed a place to sleep. As she came awake, I was taken with her demeanor. She was very childlike - a survivor but an innocent. I took her for breakfast - I was eating anyway, and I can't enjoy a meal if someone in my path is hungry. I took her to a shelter - no way - they only took in men. I called another shelter - got the bureaucratic run around. Long story short, I got the lady housed. The people at the station (and I had just started with them) thought I was crazy. Now that they know me, they know that I have a need to feed those that are hungry. My partner is a young and very idealistic person. Her cynicism is a defensive mechanism to the environment. This is an insular, redneck, hard scrabble town. For a hundred years they have been a "gateway" to Vegas and a stopover for the flotsam and jetsam of society. Those that make a living here have eked it out of the desert. I am showing people that it takes a lot more strength to remain open to those in need than to ignore them. Everyone - sooner or later - is in a position where they need someone. A famous south American writer said that when a people (and this can be an individual or a country) comes out of oppression, they become either oppressors themselves or they become liberators. I know a lot about suicide and suicidal impulses. In the ambulance, I am in charge of patient care. No one will respond to a patient with less than professionalism and on my watch they had better display compassion too. Do not judge a young person feeling her way in a difficult environment. Her heart is in the right place. Her actions are always professional. I am showing her that there is another way to be. (I hope - that's what I'm here for). I love you guys on this site. If it wasn't for all of you here, some of us would not know that there are other and better ways to be than just what is at our own little corner of the world.'
paramedicmike Posted November 23, 2008 Posted November 23, 2008 Kaisu: Standing up for your partner is a noble thing. She recently commented that you were fortunate to have her as a partner. I still don't think that's true. I think it's less true now after reading your post. I think she's the fortunate one. With any luck, she's got enough brains to check her ego and realize that. Unfortunately, while you may dictate professionalism, you have no say over what others are thinking. Thoughts can, in themselves, be a greater danger than what the individual actually feels comfortable saying in public. With that, the oppressor in an individual is never quite driven out. Hopefully you are able to kick her arse a little and get her to open her eyes. How's the job search coming? -be safe
Doczilla Posted November 23, 2008 Posted November 23, 2008 Hurray for him. he actually went through with it instead of calling 911 crying about how he wants to but truly doesnt have enough balls to like most of our patients. Its just ashame that he felt that he needed an audience. Considering he did it for everyone to see, sounds like he just wanted his 15 minutes of fame. Maybe all the other suiciders can learn something from him. This was in extremely poor taste. 'zilla
Kaisu Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 Thoughts can, in themselves, be a greater danger than what the individual actually feels comfortable saying in public. This girl ALWAYS says what she thinks... no hidden agendas. It gets her in trouble a lot. I like dealing with an individual that is upfront. Nothing sneaks up behind your back cause she lets you know upfront EXACTLY where she is coming from. She never goes behind your back to a supervisor. If she has a beef, she lets you know upfront and if she does go to a supervisor, she makes sure you know it and can be there with her if you want. This makes her head and shoulders above the sneaky ones.
firedoc5 Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 It's just sad for all this to happen at all.
WolfmanHarris Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 That's great that she's comfortable speaking her mind and is willing to deal with the consequences. But that makes it worse. Were it a joke in bad taste this would be an opportunity to realize that black humour while an excellent coping mechanism has a line and it's important not to cross that at the cost of compassion. Since it's not meant to be in jest, that provides a more problematic situation. It means that the lack of compassion and the cynicism is sincere and deeply rooted. As I state before, if this is the case, she should look inwards at the cause and the root and do some soul-searching. If the compassion for the most vulnerable is gone, than it might be time to move on either in profession, or location. Obviously something in her current circumstances has affected her in such a way that she has lost touch with a key foundation of healthcare. Honestly Kaisu, between what I hear from you and from Cynical about your current working environment I'm willing to place benefit of the doubt on your partner. It seems like you guys have a good understanding of each other. Maybe you should start the job search together and help her find her center as a provider. And cynical, looking back at this I realize I've been talking about you, not to you. I'm sorry for that, but Kaisu engaged in the discussion. - Matt
cynical_as_hell Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 I have been watching all of your comments since my post and im well aware of the emotions held within them. Now i will not apologize for what has been said cuz im truly not sorry about it, however, most of you are right in the fact that it could have been worded better to say the least. My motto has always been "Show me a person who TRULY needs EMS, and I will show you TRUE compassion towards that patient." I dont believe in shelling out compassion to those who dont need/deserve it. By doing that, all your doing is inhibiting those patients to continue to abuse the 911 system. Having stated that, I am here because I do want input on a question I have in regards to the whole suicide thing: Why do you feel it's neccessary to show compassion to a person that wants to commit such a selfish act? Now, im serious on this question, as it's very obvious that all of you dont share my ideas. I do agree that the family should be shown compassion, especially if the victim actually follows through with their intent, but does the patient really deserve to have their hand held and told eeverything will be ok? Why not try a different aproach and inform them of all the consequences and suffering they will cause, should they follow through? Now i do understand that these people do have some wiring problems in their head, for whatever reason it may be, but that does not mean that you cant reason with them without kissing their ass. Please feel free to input, as I'm looking to see what others' perspectives are.
spenac Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 Cynical this is not always a selfish act. Often they actually see no other way to keep others from being hurt. In a state of depression what would be obvious to you and me is not obvious to these individuals. As to helping a person some do need blunt direct info to help them, and that same person will also need some hand holding at some point. Something you have to keep in mind is the level of education we get in EMS and especially the basic level does not qualify us to decide who needs what. Another point. I am the first to deny transport to a person that does not need my ambulance. But even then by treating the person with compassion I have found I have been able to have a positive influence and at times help stop the frequent BS calls. Yes at times I'm blunt but not to the point of rude which whether you mean to or not is how you are coming across. Being a direct blunt person does not excuse rude behavior.
mobey Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 This recent thread pretty much covers your question.... My opinion is on page 2. I don't believe suicide is always selfish! If a mental health patient spirals to the point that they believe thier death would end thier pain and suffering (mental or physical) they are experiencing a psycological emergency, not just "being selfish". Considering psycology takes like 4-6 years to get a degree in I don't expect you to ever comprehend what these patients are feeling, I do however expect that you will treat EVERY patient with compassion and dignity, even if you have no understanding of what they are feeling. If you are diagnosing suicidal patients as just attention seekers or selfish, and treat them that way, you are practicing out of scope and should be pulled of the ambulance!! Treat the symptoms and give the patient whatever they need to get through the crisis while they are with you, that is your job as a health care professional. http://www.emtcity.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.ph...ide&start=0
Chief1C Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 When you're so depressed, that medication can't help you over come that feeling, and you ask yourself, what do I do now? That seems to be the norm, and the most difficult question to answer. It came down to a question that couldn't be answered in their eyes, overcome with such a deeply painful feeling, taking their life seemed like the only solution. It seems like a good percentage of attempted suicide patients all say, in their own way, I didn't know how to ask for help?
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