Dustdevil Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Is it still legal to beat your kid in Mexico? They could always drive to Mexico, beat his arse like a pinata there, and then come back.
rat115 Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Bye, Mr Bear!!!! I have refused to go after toys that were thown from places that made them dangerous to retrieve. Once, I even looked at my son and asked him if he thought he'd be safe going after the item he threw. When he told me no, I told him that I knew I wouldn't be safe and would not go after it. He never threw something that meant something to him again. I've even refused to allow tantrums over toys lost after he was told to leave them at home so they wouldn't get lost or stolen. Sounds like these parents and kid need some serious help before the kid hits his teens and becomes real trouble.
Dustdevil Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 ^ +5! My dad would have tossed the bear for me, long before I got the chance to do it. That's exactly what happened to all my GI Joes.
rock_shoes Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Is it still legal to beat your kid in Mexico? They could always drive to Mexico, beat his arse like a pinata there, and then come back. You can still spank your kids in Canada. Hand only though. No implements allowed. I know I received my fair share of spankings when I was a kid (before Dad's belt couldn't be used). I deserved them too.
spenac Posted January 26, 2009 Author Posted January 26, 2009 ^ +5! My dad would have tossed the bear for me, long before I got the chance to do it. That's exactly what happened to all my GI Joes. Yup a spanking and lost what ever I threw a fit for or with.
DwayneEMTP Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 Well then you better get started producing a second child real quick. Time out is a waste of time for an only child. Only children are experts at entertaining themselves, no matter what room you lock them in. They are used to being by themselves, so you are accomplishing nothing by giving them time out. So go ahead... produce a couple of siblings for him so you can raise them all to be spoiled and weak. See you at the bottom of the cliff. To imply that someone’s children are going to be spoiled and week simply because they refuse to use archaic, provably idiotic parenting methods is absurd. And what is this new trend of insulting people’s kids? It’s a chicken shit way to argue and I’m surprised to see it come from you Dust. You're only correct if you assume that time outs are used as punishment, but most often, when used properly, they are not. You take a child from a situation where they have lost control, allow them to regain control so that they can figure out how to get what they want within acceptable boundaries, and then you release them. Every minute spent being punished beyond the time where 'enlightenment' has been reached is lazy and destructive. Again, we continue to look for ways to punish when what children need are boundaries. Children don’t need to be beaten into boundaries, they constantly beg for them! They can “most often” be simply highlighted without a negative use of force, and can be set without violence or acute punishments, but it requires thinking, which is why punishment is still so popular. I’m thinking Texas must be run over with shitty kids, as it seems mostly the Texans that think more severe punishments are not only productive, but desirable over methods proven superior. If I leave when the bear is lost, ignoring the tantrum that may follow, I have not punished, I have simply allowed my child his God given right to be responsible for his own behavior. When the tantrum produces no reaction from me so THE SCIENCE says that it is much less likely to be repeated in the future, an will then soon become extinct. If I then take him home and punish him for throwing the bear I've not taught him anything more about his behavior, but have taught him that I am an unfair bully. Call this "feel good' parenting if you like, but it's the only theory that's been proved to be productive in consistently changing behavior without adding many additional unforeseen behaviors to boot. Punishment works, but mostly because it reinforces the punisher. It's popular, makes you feel powerful, plus you're lazy (obviously not you Dust) peers also stand up and cheer your superior backbone. Raising children is like medicine, a science and an art. Why so many that practice medicine are more willing to study medicine than they are intelligent ways to raise their children is a mystery to me. If many of you treated your patients the same way you claim to raise your children you'd need nothing more than some bandages, splints and an O2 tank. I mean obviously if your patient is having trouble breathing you should just give them Os, if they are bleeding you should simply plug the hole, right? Yeah, your kids are more complicated than that too.... Dwayne Edit: The choices in the poll are a great example of the problems faced when discussing this issue. Each one of those choices can be easily found in the headlines of any daily rag (text or digital), but you won't find any of those options, as a stand alone option, in a college behavioral psychology textbook. Dwayne
spenac Posted January 27, 2009 Author Posted January 27, 2009 Dwayne Edit: The choices in the poll are a great example of the problems faced when discussing this issue. Each one of those choices can be easily found in the headlines of any daily rag (text or digital), but you won't find any of those options, as a stand alone option, in a college behavioral psychology textbook. Dwayne Actually Dwayne your right, they are not stand alone. It takes the use of multiple consistent means to raise a child properly. I do tire of being accused of being barbaric, ignorant etc for the fact that I will discipline including spanking at times. Do I actually beat my child no. But I promise you my child is well rounded and a joy to be around. My child has not thrown but a couple of fits when a baby and quickly found out that was not an option. Now over 10 years with out a fit thrown. Spanking is not a first response it is used to reinforce other forms of discipline if child chooses to push the limits. While I disagree with the total hands off that is your choice. These parents obviously have not had any consistant discipline or this would never have happened.
Dustdevil Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 To imply that someone’s children are going to be spoiled and week simply because they refuse to use archaic, provably idiotic parenting methods is absurd. And what is this new trend of insulting people’s kids? It’s a chicken shit way to argue and I’m surprised to see it come from you Dust. I'm not sure if you confused me with someone else, or if you just completely misunderstood that post. I'm scratching my head trying to figure out where I insulted anyone's kid. What I did was to give Moby's boy due credit for the intelligence and independence typically developed by an only child. By saying that Moby had better be smarter than his own kid when it comes to psychology, that is in no conceivable fashion an insult to the kid, or to Moby either, for that matter. It seems that you have lowered yourself to the level of demonising anyone who does not accept your theory of parenting, which is surprising to me. You're only correct if you assume that time outs are used as punishment, but most often, when used properly, they are not. You take a child from a situation where they have lost control, allow them to regain control so that they can figure out how to get what they want within acceptable boundaries, and then you release them. Every minute spent being punished beyond the time where 'enlightenment' has been reached is lazy and destructive. No disagreements with any of that. I just don't feel it is applicable to what I was discussing. It does, however, seem to contradict your theory. You're spending a lot of time punishing for enlightenment with time-out, when you could have achieved enlightenment half an hour ago with a swift slap to the arse. Again, we continue to look for ways to punish when what children need are boundaries. Children don’t need to be beaten into boundaries, they constantly beg for them! They can “most often” be simply highlighted without a negative use of force, and can be set without violence or acute punishments, but it requires thinking, which is why punishment is still so popular. Yeah, well there is no one "best" method that fits all children or all parents. And to limit your options in performing the most important task on Earth -- raising children -- is just foolish. "Spare the rod and spoil the child" has a proven track history of success for centuries before Mr. Spock came around with his kinder, gentler parenting theories. Does it work for everyone? Nope. But neither does "time out". There is room for multiple approaches to parenting. This is not a communist society. We don't have to all raise our kids according to the methods currently approved by the Politburo at the Kremlin. And if my kids turn out fine without time out, then who are you to argue with those results?
mobey Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 Well then you better get started producing a second child real quick. Time out is a waste of time for an only child. Only children are experts at entertaining themselves, no matter what room you lock them in. They are used to being by themselves, so you are accomplishing nothing by giving them time out. So go ahead... produce a couple of siblings for him so you can raise them all to be spoiled and weak. See you at the bottom of the cliff. Actually I have 3 ... 7-5-and 12 days Time outs only work with positive renforcement. There is a big difference between a time out, and playing alone. If you are not open to understanding how this all fits together, I am not going to take the time to explain it. My mother's agency is referred families with out-of control children. I use the strategies she teaches the parents when striking the children is not working anymore. Some people abuse thier children to let them know the difference between right and wrong. I condemn the wrong without violence and reward the right. How can you call this method wrong before my kids are even old enough to assess?? My kids were really-really well behaved at the restaurant tonight so I rewarded them with a movie rental. Perhaps I should have just told them it is about damn time they straightened up, then if they gave me any lip I could have HIT the 5 year old girl!!! Ya...... model parenting :roll: BTW... Thx Dwayne
Dustdevil Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 Actually I have 3 ... 7-5-and 12 days. Ah! Well you're good to go, then! That is an environment where time-out can be most effective. My kids were really-really well behaved at the restaurant tonight so I rewarded them with a movie rental. Perhaps I should have just told them it is about damn time they straightened up, then if they gave me any lip I could have HIT the 5 year old girl!!! Ya...... model parenting Model or not, chances are that you would get results a lot quicker, and have to use it a lot less often than you would with time-out. Like Dwayne said, time spent on punishment after enlightenment is achieved is wasted. And if you are intentionally delaying enlightenment through the use of time-out, you violate your own principle.
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