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Posted

I dont want to air too much of my dirty laundry, but it is probably obvious why I am asking this. To those who have teenagers: have you ever drug-tested your own kid ? If so or if not, what was the fallout ? If you had the situation to do over again, would you respond differently ?

Posted

I'm all for it. Some familys sign a drug free pact then all get tested every so often. Make it where its a family deal so it does not seem you are after one child. Now if you do not have a pact and notice signs of drug use then tough get gets tested. Hopefully it will be a way to help your child get free before it is to late.

Posted

I'd be a little freaked out if my folks asked me...

Posted

Is knowing for sure going to help you implement a solution? Or will it escalate the situation?

If it will help you get all your ducks in a row, then I say yes, go for it but explain why and be prepared for the "you're so unfair" schtick that kids are so good at...

If it will escalate the situation and possibly make it more difficult to get done what needs to be done, then I say skip it, just be aware that there's a high likelihood that drugs are involved.

Just my logical thoughts... no parenting experience, mind you, but plenty of observation from the "younger" level...

Wendy

CO EMT-B

Posted

As someone who's young enough to remember being a teen, but old enough to have a little more maturity.

My advice is to only do it if you have strong suspicion. If he isn't using drugs, you'll most likely lose any trust you have left. I mean honestly if my parents did that to me, I would have immediately disconnected from them. There's no point trying to please parents if they're going to be suspicious anyway.

Now, if he's giving you reason to test him, I'd be upfront and tell him what specific behaviors are making you suspect. Make it clear whether there is drug use or not, those behaviors must change, or you will drug test him. Make sure he understands the timeline...degree to which behaviors must change.

This way he has some power left. And if you do it, it's no surprise and he would have made the choice to screw himself over himself...harder to blame you if you give him clear expectations.

(Of course, make sure they're reasonable. If he's naturally a one personality type or going through a teen phase, don't try to make him act like a personality type he's not. Give him room to rebel...but within limits.)

Okay, I'm done :)

Posted

A few years ago when my son was in junior high, there was an incident where a child he was talking to was caught with drugs. The school wanted to test him. I refused and told them I would have our physician do it. That way, I could share the results with the school as I saw fit, and get him treatment if needed. All of which would be protected information. I was being a parent(disciplinarian), and an advocate for my kid (the school would have used the info to mete out punishment) Turned out he was clean, and he saw me go to bat for him with the school.

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