War stories

[WelshMedic]

Hello all,

I know this topic has been done before, but I love it so much I decided te ressurrect it. I am currently in the process of writing a document on my time in nursing. This year it will be 20 years since I first sat in those chair/desk combination thingy's (you know what I mean, right?) in the lecture theater. In the meantime I have gathered lots of my own war stories, some of them sad. I don't want to focus on the bad side now though, I want to have some fun.

Here are a few of my favorite stories:

My first story is from 10 years ago, a dairy farmer collapsed in his milking shed, in full arrest. We pulled up as the second crew just in time to see all 2 tons of Daisy walking to the first crew, turning around and shitting all over their equipment and uniforms. I laughed so hard I couldn' t get my bag open to help.

The second one stems from my time as a Staff Nurse at the Whittington A+E (ER to the yankees). We had a bloke come in with a cucumber up his arse. My mate Eddie, one of the other nurses, decided to have a bit of fun. So he sent in the most junior of the student nurses on her own. She was the twin set and pearls type that had had little experience of life. After a moment, she comes back out, looking as white as a sheet. "Eddie, THAT man had a cucumber in his rectum. What do I do?" (at this point I was already crying). Eddie studies her for a moment and replies: " Well, darlin', if I was you I would fast-bleep the greengrocer, that might help".

She never said a word, she took it like a good 'un.

I have an EMT colleague that is a great bloke but, erm, how shall I put it? He's not the brightest bulb in the box. We went to pick up a hospital transfer the other day. When we got there, the pt appeared to be somewhat overweight. She gets on the stretcher herself and my crewmate looks at her and says: "You're in luck today love, this stretcher can take up to 245 kgs". She looks at me, bursts into tears and says: "but I'm only 108!" . Try not laughing when she's looking straight at you! And the worst thing is: my crewmate, to this day, still doesn't understand why she started crying.

WM

Edited March 17, 2009 by WelshMedic