Working 24 hour shifts with the opposite sex

[jwraider]

Hi everyone,

My spouse and I have recently been dealing with this issue and I was wondering how it worked for other people? I've been in the position recently where I've been paired up with a female partner (I'm a male) for a 24 hour shift that is somewhat secluded from other people. The station is near an airport and there is a sleeping room and a general room with a TV and a fridge. My spouse doesn't like this arrangement and thinks that it is an opportunity for relationships to form or someone to make an accusation of some kind of harassment or assault.

Has anyone else had to deal with this or if not do you have an opinion? She's said I do all the right things to be a good guy and handle the situation with integrity but it's still something she is uncomfortable with. (I sleep in the TV room and my spouse has full access to me via phone, camera phone, she knows where I am at all times)

I'd like to avoid the situation as much as possible but I've just become a paramedic and for many reasons I'm not in the driving seat as far as the shifts that are available to me. Even with that I know it's a fairly common scenario for men and women to work together alone in this industry and it's not completely avoidable if this is an issue for someone.

Thank you! I'm sure this has been discussed before but I think it's a relevant topic to discuss further I hope you agree! =)

[Eydawn]

How do you feel about it? Is the partner someone you're afraid may make an accusation? Is the partner someone you can trust not to push boundaries?

Can your wife meet your partner in order to get a better sense of the working relationship?

Just my ideas... it is common to form a friendship with partners but with opposite gender partners doesn't have to go any further than that if people are smart...

Wendy

CO EMT-B

[boeingb13]

Does the spouses partner have a significant other, look for chances to get together maybe at a cook out or something similar, maybe a worry will turn into friends. Other than that, if theres no signs there shouldnt be any worry.

[mobey]

Eyedawn has it right.

If they are compatable try get your wife to form a relationship with your partner. If your wife feels like your partner respects her it is unlikely trust will be such an issue.

My #1 piece of advice (from a dude who's been married for 8yrs and never had a male partner) NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER joke about cheating with your partner OR make sexual comments/jokes about your partner.

[Happiness]

I agree with mobeys advise it will cause suspision even if none is there. I have had alot of male partners and before he became a fire fighter he hated it with a passion. Once he saw exactly what the relationship was with my partners on scenes he realized what it truly was. If you can get your spouse and your partner together that would be great.

You said that you have just become a paramedic and shifts are basicaly what you get. You have to keep that in mind is this money to pay for your bills or is it disposable money that you really dont need.

I hope it works out for you either way you go.

[Diazepam618]

Hey, Buddy I hate to tell you, that in your interview you said you are willing to do anything for this position, and or something along those ambitious lines, so guess what this is anything. So I suggest you tell your significant other until she makes 100k a year or something like that, that she get over it and let you do your job the best and fullest.

best of luck

[itxtme]

Wow you must be really enjoying that trust factor in your relationship!!! I often work with the opposite sex overnight and can honestly say my partner has never been in the least bit concerned.. Talk to your wife about having a little trust!

[akroeze]

Wow you must be really enjoying that trust factor in your relationship!!! I often work with the opposite sex overnight and can honestly say my partner has never been in the least bit concerned.. Talk to your wife about having a little trust!

Quoted for truth

[AnthonyM83]

Hey, Buddy I hate to tell you, that in your interview you said you are willing to do anything for this position, and or something along those ambitious lines, so guess what this is anything. So I suggest you tell your significant other until she makes 100k a year or something like that, that she get over it and let you do your job the best and fullest.

Woah, there.

I know MY employer didn't ask if I were willing to do anything for the position. Who knows if his did.

YET, it seems like he's doing it just fine.

All he's done is fulfill his obligation and come to us for some advice (which indicates he's willing to continue fulfilling it).

And I know I'm young and maybe illusioned, but is that really how you guys would communicate with your wives...or is the poster being facetious (based on the first part of his post which sets the tone, I gather he's not).

Seems like that (mindset...not the actual words) are just asking for relationship problems.

[Diazepam618]

Woah, there.

I know MY employer didn't ask if I were willing to do anything for the position. Who knows if his did.

YET, it seems like he's doing it just fine.

All he's done is fulfill his obligation and come to us for some advice (which indicates he's willing to continue fulfilling it).

And I know I'm young and maybe illusioned, but is that really how you guys would communicate with your wives...or is the poster being facetious (based on the first part of his post which sets the tone, I gather he's not).

Seems like that (mindset...not the actual words) are just asking for relationship problems.

Hey homeboy like you I to work in southern Cali, and yes when I went into my Chief's oral interview I said I would do anything this job, might throw my way, and yes if I had to partner up with some chick in the fire house so be it, 100 k is a 100 k no matter how you slice it. Until my significant other brings home the bacon then she can say anything she wants, but luckily shes cool with, but I don't have this current issue, the biddle takes care of that.