DUMBEST THING EVER HEARD ON THE RADIO/SCANNER

[brentoli]

The service I train with has a dispatcher that has shown up to work drunk. This is was one of her heavily intoxicated nights.

Dispatcher (600): 6769 could you go to XXXstreet for.....

Truck 6744: Ah 600 we don't have a truck 6769, but we'll take that call

Dispatcher (600): Ah....OK...Thanks 6744

Shoot.... You HAVE to be drunk to do this job

[DeMolaydrummer09]

Had a call come over dispatch that a mine worker had sat down and had a mini screwdriver in his back pocket, and I bet you can all guess he has a 2 1/2 inch impalement wound in left cheek.

[Balbool]

lol thats so funny

no pulse but breathing normally ?

i wish its not true

[Richard B the EMT]

Not so much dumb, but ultimately scary...

Unit: Forty Seven Boy!

Queens East Dispatch: 47 Boy, stand by, 47 Charlie, update out of hospital?

Unit: 47 Boy!

Dispatch: 47 Boy, I'm tryin' to give jobs out, here!

Unit: 47 BOOOYYY!

Dispatch: 47 Boy, what is your problem?

Unit: You don't understand, dispatch, we just saw a plane crash in Belle Harbor!

(5 seconds of radio silence, which I figure was the dispatcher saying, off mike, "Holy ****, SUPERVISOR TO QUEENS EAST, FORTHWITH!"

Dispatch: (3 alerting tones) ALL UNITS STAND BY! FOUR SEVEN BOY, STATE LOCATION!

(This was how I found out that the mass of flames and smoke I was looking at, a half mile from me, was the crash of American Airlines Flight 587, Monday, November 12, 2001 . That voice from 47 Boy is now a lieutenant.)

[katgrl2003]

One of our crews was dispatched to a hospital to take a psych pt. from that er to a local psych er. According to all reports (I wasn't on at the time) they were dispatched on a male, 20 month pregnant, hermaphodite vampire with a velvet cape and a wand. I'm surprised all of our crews didn't run off the road.

[MeekoBB]

Not so much dumb, but ultimately scary...

Unit: Forty Seven Boy!

Queens East Dispatch: 47 Boy, stand by, 47 Charlie, update out of hospital?

Unit: 47 Boy!

Dispatch: 47 Boy, I'm tryin' to give jobs out, here!

Unit: 47 BOOOYYY!

Dispatch: 47 Boy, what is your problem?

Unit: You don't understand, dispatch, we just saw a plane crash in Belle Harbor!

(5 seconds of radio silence, which I figure was the dispatcher saying, off mike, "Holy ****, SUPERVISOR TO QUEENS EAST, FORTHWITH!"

Dispatch: (3 alerting tones) ALL UNITS STAND BY! FOUR SEVEN BOY, STATE LOCATION!

(This was how I found out that the mass of flames and smoke I was looking at, a half mile from me, was the crash of American Airlines Flight 587, Monday, November 12, 2001 . That voice from 47 Boy is now a lieutenant.)

Respectfully, I think this one tops it.

[plank27]

in the days of open radio channels here a conversation btween dispatcher and paramedic ended with the classic line

"gordon did you just roger me there"

[Kevin N. Saisi CADC EMT]

Lots of chuckles on this one...

"Need a unit to respond to [address] for an 87 year old female on the toilet, needs help getting off"

When they repeated the call, they clarified she needed help getting off of the toilet.

[rnmedic]

Enroute to a T-Bone MVC with entrapment...THe first Responders called to us with a pt report, obviously excited. They reported that we had 2 pts, one still entrapped and one that had been ejaculated by first response team. I nearly ran the ambulance off the road.

[medic946]

946 respond to xxx on a person who might have bitten their tongue. Asked dispatch to repeat, what was the extent of injury....all while trying not to hit traffic while laughing.....dispatch stated not sure, they just said they think they bit their tongue