DUMBEST THING EVER HEARD ON THE RADIO/SCANNER

[air.stump]

Communications: Respond to a patient at XXXX in respiratory distress.

Me: Copy, unit XX enroute.

Communications: Unit XX, be advised that we are attempting to get an interpeter.

Me: Copy. What language does the patient speak?

Commuications: Unit XX, be advised the patient speaks scottish.

Me: (Snicker, Snicker) Copy. Your can cancel the interpeter, I have a working knowledge of that language.

Communications: Show you enroute.

[Amhet1]

As a young, excitable EMT back in the late 70's, we were transporting a cardiac arrest into the hospital..... I was radioing in and described the patient as being cyanotic and having diaphoretic fingernails...... Thats a mistake ya only make once. I have no idea why I still remember that call.

The other call that still stands out is a response for a possible traumatic amputation... We arrive about the same time as PD. A guy comes running towards us with an armful of shop rags.... The guy says to me "Heres the arm, what do you want met o do with it?" Without missing a beat I look at him and say "Give it to that police officer over there".... Another one the staff wouldnt ever let me forget!

[DwayneEMTP]

As a young, excitable EMT back in the late 70's, we were transporting a cardiac arrest into the hospital..... I was radioing in and described the patient as being cyanotic and having diaphoretic fingernails...... Thats a mistake ya only make once. I have no idea why I still remember that call.

Just reading that almost made my fingernails sweat!

Welcome to the City!

Dwayne

[firedoc5]

As a young, excitable EMT back in the late 70's, we were transporting a cardiac arrest into the hospital..... I was radioing in and described the patient as being cyanotic and having diaphoretic fingernails...... Thats a mistake ya only make once. I have no idea why I still remember that call.

The other call that still stands out is a response for a possible traumatic amputation... We arrive about the same time as PD. A guy comes running towards us with an armful of shop rags.... The guy says to me "Heres the arm, what do you want met o do with it?" Without missing a beat I look at him and say "Give it to that police officer over there".... Another one the staff wouldnt ever let me forget!

Oh well, it happens to the best of us.

One day I got tongue tied and couldn't pronounce antecubital over the radio. Can't remember how it turned out sounding like.

[Redneck4_life]

OK i'm doing my final Paramedic ride outs.

Distpatch" medic 14 engine 15 please response to the vincity of holly and monkhouse for a adult female uncousious laying in the road.

few second later

Dispatch : patient states bystander is breathing. Shh.. opps uh you know what I meant.

a few minutes later

Disptach : all units can get back in service patient was just sleeping.

Medic 14 (my preceptor): Distpatch do we know why the patient was sleeping in the road?

Dispatch: Standby......negative she wont answer me.

Medic 14: we're going to continue to the scene and we request engine 15 continue as well until we know why the patient was sleeping in the middle of a major road.

Distpatch: ok if you want to.... engine 15 you copy?

engine 15: 10-4 We want to know why she was sleeping in teh road too. (you could hear the laughter over the sirens in teh back ground.

PS the patinet wasnt only sleeping in teh middle of the road but she was naked and drunked and the bystander was her boyfriend who stopped the car to pee and was also laying in the road with her when we got there... her clothes were nowwhere to be found.... got to love drunk red necks

[firedoc5]

OK i'm doing my final Paramedic ride outs.

Distpatch" medic 14 engine 15 please response to the vincity of holly and monkhouse for a adult female uncousious laying in the road.

few second later

Dispatch : patient states bystander is breathing. Shh.. opps uh you know what I meant.

a few minutes later

Disptach : all units can get back in service patient was just sleeping.

Medic 14 (my preceptor): Distpatch do we know why the patient was sleeping in the road?

Dispatch: Standby......negative she wont answer me.

Medic 14: we're going to continue to the scene and we request engine 15 continue as well until we know why the patient was sleeping in the middle of a major road.

Distpatch: ok if you want to.... engine 15 you copy?

engine 15: 10-4 We want to know why she was sleeping in teh road too. (you could hear the laughter over the sirens in teh back ground.

PS the patinet wasnt only sleeping in teh middle of the road but she was naked and drunked and the bystander was her boyfriend who stopped the car to pee and was also laying in the road with her when we got there... her clothes were nowwhere to be found.... got to love drunk red necks

Had something similar to that. A drunk couple stopped in the middle of the road. They both got out to pee. She didn't make it to the bushes, and she just laid in the road. Passer by called it in. Come to find out, he wasn't her husband and she wasn't his wife.

[mshow00]

We had someone get on our radio frequency a short while ago:

unkn: f***,f***,f***

medic in truck: be advised you are on Med 9 and there are PTs that can hear you!!!

unkn: shut the F*** up a** hole. f***, f***, f***

[fire/emt]

call the hospital to tell them we are in route with a code blue and that we are doing CPR.

hospital call back ask for pulse and B/P?

[firedoc5]

Had someone steal a portable radio. After a couple of days we thought the battery would have been dead, but the idiot was trying to use it like a CB. We had one of our gals get on and made a date with him. Busted him at the city park.

[Richard B the EMT]

As for advising the receiving hospital that the ambulance is inbound with an arrest, CPR in progress, and getting asked for vital signs...

That has actually happened to me, when I was dispatching my VAC one time. Whoever answered in the ER wasn't satisfied until I finally told her "Zero over zero BP, pulse rate zero, total assisted respirations."