DUMBEST THING EVER HEARD ON THE RADIO/SCANNER

[Scaramedic]

Heard this one morning (about 0400):

Unit: "3xx"

Dispatch: "3xx go ahead"

Unit: "We're checking on a possible man down in a white SUV at *location*, we'll advise"

Dispatch: "10-4"

Unit: "3xx"

Dispatch: "3xx go ahead"

Unit: "We're 10-8 (in service), it was just 6xx (supervisor)"

Our supervisors drive MARKED white Expeditions, the crew found one of them sleeping in their truck.

Let me guess it was either Curtis or Jim?

[KE5EHI]

Let me guess it was either Curtis or Jim?

Lol, one of those is the right anwser

[windsong]

I was going through a Tim Horton's and I was in front of a EMS SUV and he was bunched in between me and a big truck in drive thru. He gets a call and since he cant go anywhere he has to sit tight, I could hear him and in my rear view mirror he looks back then ahead and starts drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. I look at the lady and said hey I'm coming in for that we have a situation back here I gotta move, so I pull out and the Paramedic isnt paying attention until he see's the opening and takes off like a bat out of hell, ok maybe it wasnt hell, he was very professional in this situation though because people could of gotten hurt in all that adrenaline rush.

[Mediclcems]

Don't think this qualifies as dumb...but it sure was funny;

Medic 19: we are en route to the county shop

dispatch: can you advise reason

Medic 19: we have a suicidal chicken buzzard stuck in the grill of the truck

[p3sibley]

1. Unit 424, you are being dispatched to a report of male patient who was punched in the face by someone who used to be his friend!!!

2. Was dispatched to a report of a motor vehicle collision, only to arrive at a house to find that the actual emergency was a 10-11 year old girl who was home alone and was playing with a plastic self locking twist tie. She got it stuck over her wrist and tried to pull it off, but each time she pulled it just got tighter and tighter until the circulation started to get cut off. It was a good thing she called 911.

[Coach Hohman]

One call from about 8-10 years ago that my mom had...

Dispatch: Medic 501, ******** first responders, you're needed at 1234 CR. 98 for a man vs. cow

Medic 501: Dispatch, can you advise the nature of this call again?

Dispatch: Affimative, your patient is a 72 y/o male whose cow fell on him.

Medic: *uncontrollable laughter* That's clear, we're en route.

*someone in the background, mic still keyed* MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

The sheriff was far from thrilled about that one, but I don't remember anyone actually getting reprimanded

[Richard B the EMT]

So? Get that response "MOOOOOOOOOOving!"

Sorry, couldn't resist!

[almostamedic]

dispatch: Unit 7821 be advised FD called back and stated that the pt was on fire.

Unit 7821: Thats clear. Tell FD to put the pt out we'll be there in a minute.

[windsong]

I had a friend who is a christian she called me up one weekend at about 2pm in the afternoon and said Hi how are you and I said fine, you? She said well. . .umm. . .it's good and I said I see, is something wrong and she said well. . .yes and then there was dead silence.

I'm like Hello?? and then I hear her b/f in the back ground-laughing and she is crying, he takes the phone to tell me what had happened, but hesitated, He thinks its funny but she does not, so I said why are you calling me, and he said you took Emergency first aid and I said yes, and? So I said if it's serious b/c she's crying I think I'm the wrong person to call.

So he tells me that when they have sex he plays along time with her but when she plays with him it's like not even 5 mintues, so he put crazy glue around his friend, which she happend to be holding and this time it was longer, longer than expected.

So I said well you need to call EMS and he said what's their number?

Didnt we learn that in Kindergarten or was it grade 10? roflmao

[paraloco]

I've been dispatched to: decreased level of conscientiousness, decongestive heart failure, unusual low pulse, smoke coming from the vagina. I'm sure there's more. I was in the ER when a volunteer unit from an outlying area called in a report which started out: The patient was minding his own business when.... We busted out laughing, one of the nurses said "Positive for minding own business. check" Its funny to watch the ER staff listening to those really long reports, you know, the kind where the medic is reporting what color underwear the patient wore on groundhog's day 3 years ago, ate raisin bran yesterday morning, etc.