DUMBEST THING EVER HEARD ON THE RADIO/SCANNER

[STREMT11]

"956, respond to ------- W. 12th St. for a reported stolen garage door." Minutes later, "956, you can 22(disregard), the caller is on the line stating the door is not missing, just in the open position."

[IndianaEMT81]

I work for a private ambulance company where a few of our dispatchers are. . . shall we say. . .ditsy. . .

We were dispatched to a local nursing facility for a transport to local clinic. . . radio traffic went something like this. . .

Dispatch 421: Could you tell me which where in the clinic this patient will be going to?

Dispatch: The appt is for a checkup on pacemaker. . .(long pause followed by). . .ummmmm. . . so try the pacemaker section. =D>

Pacemaker section?!?! Is that near produce or lingerie?!?! Me and my partner laughed so hard we couldn't even talk! This is the very same dispatcher when asked what the chief complaint was on another pt. . .she was unclear and the "pt is not SEIZURING at this time."

WOW lol

[Just Plain Ruff]

I heard a crew member (might have been me) say after our 15th transfer from the hospital to the nursing home and an occasional real emergency, "thank you ma'am, can we have another"

[Timmy]

Recently at a rave party we had security dump a drug OD on the floor of my first aid post. After establishing that he’d taken 12 “illicit tablets” and only slightly moving his foot when I did a sternum rub I gave him a GSC of 4. We put him on the ferno, dropped an OPA and did ventilations with the BVM. My convo sounded something like:

Me: “Control from 530”

Them: “530 send”

Me: “530 transporting male patient unresponsive, breathing, no bleeding to ACMT (field hospital) – confirmed drug overdose - GCS of 4 – we’ve dropped an OPA – ETA 2 mins”

Them: “Roger 530, is you patient bleeding, responsive or breathing?”

Me: *rolls eyes* “Patient breathing, unresponsive and not bleeding”

Them: “roger 530 good luck finding room, were a little tight for space here”

Me: “WELL MAKE ROOM!”

[mitchb]

Comms - Pt has accidently overdosed. It appears she mistook mineral turpintine for cough mixture.

Paramedic - Is she still coughing?

Comms - Pt has fallen 2 metres onto roof of phone box

Paramedic (same one) - Did they use that phone to call?

[firedoc5]

It wasn't over the radio but we were dispatched to the "Best Inns" motel. Later we were looking through the log book and the "dispatcher" had wrote down "Best Ends" motel... :-k

[karieduckworth]

Ok, 1st post but couldn't help myself. We (EMT-b hubby and I emt-b student) were listening to hubbys radio one night while he was off duty, we heard come across radio

xxxcounty station...please respond to (whatever the addy was), 24 yo female complaining of leg pain.

xxx county copy call

xxx county, please be advised patient advises she has ummm...been severely bleeding internally for years now...*clears throat*

ok, like I said he was off duty so we never did get to find out the rest of the details of the call....but I could imagine the feelings of the ones taking the call...had to be a lot like ours...soft laughter and confession.

[medic1963]

Rural VFD has 2 working structure fires at the same time less than a mile apart. Its 3 AM.

The names have been changed to protect the dummys.

Tanker 1: Tanker One to fire command.

Fire CMD: You got him.

Tanker 1: I got a barrel full. Where do you want it?

Fire CMD: It don't really matter, they're both burning pretty good.

Tanker 1: I ride by the first one and see how hot it is.

Fire CMD: Sounds good.

Same VFD, different day.

MVC with "trauma code"

ENG 1: Confirmed code blue. CPR in progress. PT is very combative. Request permission to restrain so CPR can continue.

Outcome: PT was COAx3, no sign of any cardiac issues. Pt had minor laceration to hand and 4 broken ribs. Laceration to the hand was retaliation on the FF who broke the 4 ribs doing CPR.

Got to love firefighters!

[pinochello1]

Ok my story is a little wack but hey. It is P.R.

Im called by the police to help to calm down a suicidal pte, who wants to jump off a bridge.

Dispach tells us to get there like yesterday because the pte is try to jump in front of a car, we rush and find the pte guess what????????????????????????

Under the bridge walking.

He really did not feel like walking up there and was trying to get a ride up there.

[johnrsemtp]

At station one night at 2am, (awake): person knocked on door, father having chest pain. I put pt at table at back of bay, got bag, radio and O2 (we were BLS) and hit dispatch for medic truck to be added to run (they were at our station).

Medic crew walked by us at the table; said hi: got in their truck and drove off station. They then asked dispatch for the address again; was told that the run was blank address at station XY. They pulled back to station and came in and said hi again; asking if we were the ones having chest pain. I told them that he was, I was just the confused one.